Afraid to Love
Episode 54
Jeremy lovingly patted her shoulder, urging her to carry on.
She hesitated for few seconds. A lot of things were running through her mind. She was about to share her dark secret with someone, a man.
It was something she had to do. She couldn’t lose Jeremy now or let their parents down. Her rules and promises no longer mattered, carrying out Emily’s last wish did.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jeremy was already disappointed. She had always hated him. She’d never trust him. Why didn’t he remember that? His feelings just took control over him.
“It was my prom night.” Those memories came back to her, gradually. One piece ar a time. “My two best friends and I planned to be alone that night. While the rest had their dates and would be dancing, the three of us would be together.
“Before then, I had never had a date. Never had anything to do with boys. My two friends had and they were used, the boys they had relationships with toyed with their feelings. They were badly hurt-took them a great deal of time to recover. I didn’t want to feel that way. Never wanted to be heartbroken, so vulnerable and lost. That being the case, I ruled boys and men out of my life.
“On that night, I dressed beautifully. I was so gorgeous that men asked me out that night. I snubbed them all. I got to our school hall feeling confident and very happy. My aim was to make those other girls jealous of my friends and I. I got to the hall to meet the greatest shook of my life.
My two friends betrayed me. Each of them had a date that night and they arranged a guy for me. They hurt my feelings so much. The reason they gave me was that I behaved like an old fashioned girl; a man could change my life and make me normal like other girls.”
A tear slid down her cheek. She really didn’t have to, didn’t need to, but she wanted to. She could bear the pains for now, soon it’d be all over. She dried the tear and continued.
“I really felt bad that my friends considered me abnormal because I refused having anything to do with boys. They went ahead and brought one for me. It hurt me so much. I felt betrayed, deceived and enraged at them. I was bitter, bitter at boys because they caused the rift between my friends and I. I poured out my feelings to them, how hurt I was. But still, they chose the guys over me.”
Purity’s voice was beginning to shake. The hurt and betrayal, she was feeling them again. The healed wound was opened and she let the tears fall freely.
“Stop. I don’t like seeing you cry.” Jeremy pleaded with her. He couldn’t take it anymore. A woman’s tears was what he could not stand. He felt her pain, it cut him deep.
“No,” she whimpered. “I have to tell you.” Nothing was going to stop her. “Infuriated, I stomped out of the hall. I got into my car and drove. I was very angry, I didn’t know where I was driving to. I was weeping bitterly as I drove. Then, I passed a bar.
I reversed and went back to it. I smiled on seeing it. I wiped away my tears and applied more make up. My lips were coated with red lipstick-signaling danger.
“I grinned and went in. I was going to show those girls that I wasn’t old fashioned, I wasn’t gonna let a man hurt me, I’d be the one to break his heart. I began hating men more, for they were the reasons my friends left me. It was noisy, the music was very loud. Men and woman were on the dance floor enjoying themselves. It was disgusting to me.
All forms of immoral acts were going on. My feeling of anger restrained me from leaving. I got to the counter and asked for drinks. I started drinking. I drank up to four bottles and was beginning to feel tipsy. That was when your cousin came to me.”
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FLASHBACK.
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It was her fifth bottle. The feelings of despair was beginning to disappear. She was starting to feel normal, but in a different way.
Slightly drunk, but still knew what was going around her. She abandoned her drink on the counter to face the men and women. Silently, she searched for a victim, she was to break his heart.
“Hello pretty,” a masculine voice greeted her.
Sixteen year old Purity was excited. That was the first time she was called pretty by a guy besides her family members. Others referred to her as hot or sexy. She smiled broadly and invited him to join her. “What’s up, handsome?”
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