PART 16
“HIM, HER & I”
(A Love Triangle)
©?Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde
I picked up Mmesoma’s LONG note, and it read…
“If you think for a minute that I will fight you over Bro Kennedy, then I am sorry to
disappoint you, that would be me displaying the highest level of spiritual insecurity. I am
so secured in God, that I know that if any man leaves me for another lady, it’s because
God is watching out for me or God has someone better. Spiritual insecurity is when you
doubt God’s Love towards you and in the process, you try to help yourself. Jere 29:11
states that ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’
Timi, this makes me understand that no matter the heartbreaks I may suffer, the
breakups, the absence of suitors, I have total assurance that God loves me and He will
give the best man that will make my life here on earth paradise, so fighting you over Bro
Kennedy is madness. I don’t give room to insecurities about God’s love for me, or God’s
ability to give me the best spouse. Do you know who God is to me?
He is my Father, the very KING of kings… Is it possible for the princess of the KING of
KINGS not get married? No way! Rather, nobles, princes, dukes will beg to have my
hand in marriage. I, Mmesoma am of a royal priesthood and royalty doesn’t fight for
good things, it comes naturally to them.
Note: If God wants Bro Kennedy for me, you can’t stop it, but if I am too much for him
(which I think so already), wait and see who God is bringing my way. Good meals
sometimes take time and I am in no rush. I have got better things to do with my time to
profit the kingdom of God than sweating over a man I am not yet married to or may
never get married to.
Thanks for accommodating me in your room for a whole semester, I don’t take it for
granted. I hope we remain friends.
Please note: I am beginning to doubt your being raped, if it wasn’t a rape, I suggest you
find God first. Bro Kennedy should not be your next point of call.
God bless you! I will always have you in my prayers.
Love you Sister,
Mmesoma.”
I dropped Mmesoma’s note. Spiritual Insecurity! That word tugged at my heart. Was I
having spiritual insecurity? Was I doubting God’s ability to give me a good spouse? Was
I being unnecessarily nervous over marriage, was I desperately trying to help God?
All these were going through my mind as I laid down on my bed and slept off.
I had a dream…
I saw myself in a shoe store; I saw various shoes, they all looked beautiful. I kept
looking for the shoe that will go perfectly with my dress. I searched and searched for a
long time, but for every shoe I found, I could only find half of a pair. The other one was
nowhere in sight… I would find a beautiful shoe, but on looking for the other half of the
pair, it will be a tug of war.
Eventually I saw someone offering me one of her own pair of shoes out of pity, the pair
was complete but all of a sudden someone else offered me a new shoe saying my
mother sent the shoes to me…
I decided to take my mother’s shoe instead. In the process of returning the previous
shoes that belonged to someone else, I noticed one of the pair was actually damaged
unknowingly to me.
I thankfully took the nice pair of shoe my mother gave me…
I woke up from the dream!
I was confused at the meaning. I knew shoe meant marriage, but I didn’t understand the
message in the dream.
The next two weeks was a bitter sweet time for me. I reached out to Mmesoma telling
her I wasn’t in a fight with her and that she should return to the room. She appreciated
the gesture but told me she was fine where she was. Bro Kennedy also reached out to
her through a text message…
“I am sorry if I raised your hopes, like I initially told you, I had deep feelings for Sister
Timi before you came along. She turned me down initially, but Guess destiny has a way
of returning lost opportunities. Thanks for your understanding.”
Mmesoma had replied “It’s okay, though hurtful, it is a phase and I know it will pass, just
be sure you don’t fall into sin… I feel Timi is not spiritually and emotionally matured for a
relationship. Peace.”
Bro Kennedy had shown me the text and I told him to discard it as I told him Mmesoma
was just jealous.
Papa kept threatening me about making a public confession while Bro Kennedy was the
best companion ever. The only place he never went with me was my lecture hall. He
treated me like egg. I even spoke to his mum as he had told her about the rape and his
mum was the sweetest woman ever.
“Don’t think about it darling, it’s a phase and it would pass. I was also raped at a young
age and had several abortions before giving my life to Christ, so no one is a saint. I
have always told my children not to judge anyone by the person’s past, so I have
nothing against you even if you and my son decide to be together in the long run,
because from the way he speaks about you, I can tell my son loves you!” His mum said
to me over the phone and I burst into tears.
Tears of how my insecurity had robbed me of a good life with Kennedy. If I had been
calm enough with God, all these past drama would not have happened.
I begged Papa not to make the public confession as I lied to him that Bro Kennedy and I
were already dating and if he did the confession he was going to ruin my life. I haunted
him at all services, begging him to let us make our confessions to God.
“Don’t you get it? Confessing makes your sin out there and makes the devil ashamed. It
serves as a whip not to make you go back to your vomit,” Papa had said.
“Ok, please confess to the fellowship president.”
This was exactly what Papa did, he obliged me and made his confession privately to the
fellowship president and I thought it was over until…
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