TAMAR
Episode 22.
The old physician came in Chakan’s absent, she came with Okra, as the physician waits for Zity to get ready I went into Zity’s chamber, shaking all over despite she has asked me not to come in unless I’m being summoned, I went in anyway angrily, I can’t watch Zity drain off this way, I can’t watch such evil, it was better I was never born than to see the person I love so dearly to be deceived twice by an evil friend, who portray herself to be good, as much is I want to see the Satan in Okra that is pushing her to be so evil exposed, I can’t help but blame her for allowing herself to be the devil’s servant and she was dragging Zity into it.
“My lady you can’t do this…don’t do it… I plead with you…
“I can’t remember asking you to come into my chamber, and who are you to tell me what to do, are you my mother…mother and father doesn’t even have that right to tell me what to do again or Vim, my brother, I will do whatever I want to do, you are just a common slave girl what do you even know…is my body, so is nobody’s business not even Chakan, I have already told Okra that I wash my hands off you, she will deliver you to Mandioh and he will feed you to his beast, for you to have the gut to turn down my brother’s proposal, is not only an insult to him is a big insult to me, and Okra is already planning what to do with you, so you better get ready or better still pray to that your so called god to save you, otherwise you are at no ones mercy, the only person that could have protected you, who is my brother Vim, has washed his hands off you and I have washed mine off you too, now let’s see how you will get away from Okra’s hand, leave my chamber right now, oh wait, I need you to go and get me something in the market, the physician said I have to take a certain drug once the deed is done, so go to the medicine shop by the far end of the district, not the one close to the house or on the market road, I repeat far end of the district, go there and get the drugs I will write down for you, you must not hurry, just take your time so that you will not witness what will happen here because it will be bloody, but by the time you will come back the physician will wrapped the embryo in a pieces for you to go and dispose off, you can dig ground at the flower cot and bury it…
i felt cold all over as she gave me the prescription, written in a pieces of paper, I ran as my leg could carry me, like a crazy woman, even though she said I should not hurry so that I will not witness the act, I just kept running, when I got to the first market, I couldn’t continue as my leg began to shake, I don’t know what to do or where to go, or who to talk to, I don’t know to reach Zity’s heart and convince her not to do what she was about to do, my heart was beating, as i ran back again home, I didn’t go to the exact place she sent me or get what the prescription, my heart was not at peace, I can’t be part of that evil.
As I return so quick I saw Okra and the physician in Zity’s chamber, Okra was telling Zity to hurry before Chakan or me returns back, because she doesn’t like my presence where she is.
I came in and Zity asked me why I was back so soon, and I told her I got to the market and came back, that I can’t go, I was angry inside, this anger boiled like hot water as I stood before Zity, in the presence of Okra and the Physician, i boldly told her how I felt, I will receive beating or even worst, I don’t care someone has to tell her the truth and I’m the only one that can do that right now.
“I’m sorry to disobey you my lady, It has never happen before but I have to disobey you on this one, I can’t be part of this evil, if you have the mind to kill your child just because… Okra said so, then go ahead and I promise there will loads of regret in the future awaiting you, I don’t care what you have to do to me, but you have to hear the truth from somebody, and since you can’t tell yourself the truth, since you are so easily deceived by your friend then I will tell you boldly to your face that you are about to embark on a journey of no return, you did the first one and got away with it, God will not forgive you if you repeat this, God will bring judgement on you Okra, and unto you Zity because you are not a child, you know the wrong and the right thing, you wanted Chakan and not Adolfo and that was why you decided to kill Adolfo’s child, now what is your reason for trying to hurt that premature baby, innocently trying to form in your womb, what is the child’s offense, my lady, forgive my dauntless speech, it has gotten to my real nerve that I can’t hold it all in, or watch all of this, when I thought you are getting better or gotten over Okra’s negative influence on you, you will suddenly fall into a deeper one again, what is your main reason for this evil act, yes, Chakan had an affair, he knelt down and pleaded to be forgiven, he is only a human prone to mistakes, which he tried to make amend, and when you have already forgiven and having a good life with your husband, Okra came back again and started putting negative idea into you, making you feel you don’t have a mind of your own, how can you be this fragile and easy to convince, I am not going to plead to you anymore not to abort your child, is your life my lady, like you said, but you will answer for everything you ever did, God will not spare you if you hurt that precious soul, you can not destroy what you did not create, a child forming in you womb was not made possible because you and your husband mate is more of God’s work not by your effort, if your mother has aborted you or destroyed you at an early stage there will never be Zity, you will never have opportunity to know what the earth looks like, because you were given a chance to live also give another, don’t bring judgment upon yourself, let that child live, even if you are not afraid of God but you got a conscience, and deep down you know what you are doing is wrong yet you want to do it so that you can prove a useless power that Okra is putting in your head, you already have power to do good, every other negative feeling is not a power, is a manifestation of the devil, my lady you have a choice, life and death is presented to you, good and bad is right within your reach, light and darkness is staring right into your eyes, make a wise choice, a choice that you will look back tomorrow and be glad you made it, you are no more a child, you were even wiser when you were a teenager, when you face Zain your old friend at the museum, do you remember, she pointed Chakan and his friends to you and told you to walk with her so that she can make her pick among the boys, and you plainly told her that you came to the museum to looks at the beautiful craft and art not to check out boys, and I felt so proud of you right there and then. And now you are no more a teen you area grown woman, you suppose to be wiser than you were years back, you are suppose to know wrong from right and look forward to being a great mother to your children, beautiful God’s gift to you, don’t hurt that precious soul growing in you, if you do, you have hurt a thousand generation that might come from that single child, if you do you may not be able to conceive again, that child may be your last, you have being given second good chance to be a great mother and you want to throw it all away, there may not be another chance except if you repent and God decides to pardon your iniquities, but it maybe too late Zity…my good lady, live and let another live, the world is not just for you and I, is big enough and can hold everyone including your little one, there are other ways to punish Chakan for his sin if you still feel is necessary to do so, punish him but do not hurt him this way, don’t kill your own flesh and blood, I know you love Chakan and he loves you, I also know you have forgiven him because you are a good woman and you got a good heart, you are just like your mother lady Phin, she will never hurt your father for any reason because she loves him and has loved him ever since, growing old with your father and watching her children grow is her greatest pleasure, your mother didn’t raise you to be weak, you are already strong my lady, don’t allow anybody to deceive you, your so called friend, Okra, does not have a conscience, she sold it out to the devil long time ago, do not join her league because the end is filled with regrets, don’t be among the gullible women she has mislead, even if you don’t want the child after birth there are a lot of us that will be so happy to have him or her, think of how happy you will make your mother and father with that child, I know I’m nothing but a slave. Your mother gave me to you for a reason, I was a fourteen years old slave with a shaved hair and was not good to look upon, i was given to you by your mother and approved by your kind father, I was handed over to you to protect and to help you, is being almost ten years and I have never turn away from that, i have not failed in my services to you, I will beg you for the last time my lady, please can you listen, even if is this once to this common slave that has served you all this years with all sincerity, can you…please my lady, don’t do this evil…don’t….
“I wonder when a slave becomes bold to speak to her owner in this manner, Zity, is only a fool that will listen to a senseless speech from a commoner who insulted the kingdom by rejecting Lord Vim’s proposal just because of her stupid god, hope you are not considering any of those nonsense she said, if you do it only means you are a weak woman, is your body, is your life, you own nothing to anybody, whatever you do is your business, you were born alone and the day you will die you will die alone, so live your live now and do not listen to any negative senseless talk from a commoner, remember she will soon become food for Mandioh’s lions, for rejection your brother’s proposal and for disobeying you, is a double sin, hurry up Zity, we don’t have the whole day, this foolish slave has already taken enough of our time, the physician is running out of patient…
“I can’t do it, Tamar is right, no one has arrested my attention and make me have fear the way she just did, she made me to flash back to my life, and I feel this is absolutely wrong Okra, there’s other ways to punish Chakan but not this way, I don’t want to do this again, I can’t do this, I don’t mind giving the physician money for coming to waste her time but Tamar’s word really got me, some of the things she said is worth thinking over, she maybe slave but there is wisdom in her word, and she spoke unafraid, she wasn’t trying to impress with her intelligent word or please anyone, but to save me from doing another wrong, I know is my body, I can do whatever I chose with it and I have chosen to keep this child, I may not survive this abortion despite how simple it sound, yes, the child will be off in no time but my conscience will hurt me for the rest of my life
At that moment God made it possible for Zity to sit still and listen to all I have to say, but Okra began to sow evil seed again in her heart, Zity began to look confuse, Okra moved close to me but I wasn’t afraid as I stared at her as if I got bullet in my eyes to shot her and her wrinkled physician out of Zity’s chamber and never to return, she strike me hard, and then another follows, I fell to the ground as she kicked me
“let her go Okra, carry out your frustration on me and not her, I was the one that decided not to go on with this abortion, so be angry with me, leave Tamar alone, she was only looking out for me…she belong to me, do not punish her on my behalf, let her be, I will pay for all your time wasted, and for disturbing your well sorted physician, I will pay but let all this end, don’t hit her again, she is mine and you have no right to hit her in my presence…
“You watched her insult me and call me names and you did nothing, she said I was evil and I was deceiving you, she even mentioned my name without respect, you sat there and did not caution her, I was just waiting for you to do something that was why I kept quiet and now you are even insulting me the more, remember your brother said her god can have her, and you washed your hand off her that day as you were looking for a suitable punishment for her, well I will hand her over to Mandioh, I will tell him that you have a Christian slave living with you, just that information alone and it will cause an outrage, I thank the gods that your brother is no more interested in her so he wouldn’t care if anything happens to her, it would have being impossible for anybody to touch her if your brother was still into her but now he washed off himself from her case, and you too did few days back, I will hold that dearly as I hand her over to her god, in few days time, your dear Tamar will have turn into waste in the animal belle, and her carcass will be among those eaten in the den, for that insult she gave me I will never allow her to go Scot free..
“I take back my words Okra, when I said I don’t want her and her god can have her, just as my brother said, I wasn’t thinking, I do want her, yes, I want Tamar, and I don’t want any harm to come to her…do not tell Mandioh that she is a Christian, Okra, don’t do that, you know how Mandioh hates Christians, I apologies on her behalf if you feel insulted, and I’m saying sorry for causing it all, it was all my fault, to have agreed for you to bring the physician when I’m not ready, let her go, if anybody deserve to be thrown into Mandioh’s lion’s den is not Tamar but Shamara, I swap, take Shamara leave Tamar…please take no offence Okra with what Tamar said…
“I take no offence from you Zity but from a commoner, having the mind to insult me, you gave her that wings but I will break it, your word can not be taken back, you have said it and it will stand, you hand her over to her gods so let’s see if her so called god can save her, and I’m so certain no god can save her from the hungry beast in Mandioh’s den, you can’t swap her for Shamara, both she and Shamara will become food for the animals, shamara’s offence is one, which is going into your husband’s chamber and laying with him, well that is pretty forgivable, if anybody deserve to live then it should be Shamara, but this useless girl here, her offence is a cup full, being a Christian is the greatest of all the offence, and she knows she worship abominable god yet she was never ashamed or afraid, she insulted me…and also insulted you but you chose to over look, that’s your business, me, I can’t over look mine, another of her sin is she turning down your brother’s proposal, which made him so angry and he also swear never to have anything with her again, how can she dare say no to Vim, a great seed of the soil, a very important young man, a well known man, she boldly insulted him, how could she do that, now your brother has turned his back on her so Mandioh’s lion can have her, Mandioh will be so glad to watch his lion consume a Christian girl, he finds it pleasurable, you may even call your brother to come and watch the show, it will be to his delight, he will be glad to watch her get consumed and mock her god, Zity I know you don’t want to abort the child, is fine, is your life I won’t push it anymore, but let’s focus on this your slave, she is a bad omen, she took your mother and father’s love from you, you told me that they did not want to send her to you again, years back when you requested for her at Adolfo’s house, and when she came living with you at Adolfo’s house, Adolfo also took likeness to her and always wants her to keep him busy in his study instead of you his wife, and after you got married to Chakan, Chakan also liked her, and the last straw is your brother falling in love with her, all this I just said is it true or false…?
“okra, please let it go, is all true, yes, Tamar is a good person, I know I told you that my parents likes Tamar, Adolfo, Chakan and my brother fell in love with her, everything you said is true and it made real sense yet I don’t want any more trouble for her, I need all the help I can get here especially this time, and when the baby will be born, and Tamar is the only one that understands me, what exactly do you mean with all this…
“You will get a better personal maid, more than your nugatory termite, and what I’m saying is that…is because she is a witch, she bewitched everyone around you to be on her side, your entire household and then your husband, Adolfo and Chakan, do you think is ordinary, Zity… Zity wise up, you have to be smarter than this, she has bewitched you too, and for you to break that power and hold she has in your family is by handling her over to Mandioh, your brother eyes cleared up from her charm, you too should quickly do same, if her god is powerful or she thinks she has power let her save herself from the lions, you are not doing anything bad to her you are only trying to break loose from her grip over you and your entire family, she is a hindrance to the kind to happiness I want you to experience , she knows Chakan was having affair with a maid, yet she never told you. what kind of personal maid does that, she saw it and knew them to be together but never said a word or even tried to stop Chakan, she didn’t even stop you from going into Chakan’s chamber, she allowed you to see such evil that made you to collapse, and you sit there telling me she is a good person…no think and think again if I’m wrong.
Zity sat quietly without saying a word, she breathed deeply and bent her head, this time I was on my feet relaxing by the wall, I was not showing any sign of fear, I stood as if Okra was just making noise with her words, she gets more angry anytime she looks at me and saw that I wasn’t afraid and I was not going to plead like she has expected me to crawl to her feet and cry out to her like a god, she saw there was no sign of fear and it aggravated her the more.
I am happy that Zity won’t be aborting her child again, I feel so much joy as she listened to me and changed her mind. If this is my only good deed on this earth then I’m fulfilled.
This fight is not for me because I have no strength of my own but of the lord, who got me covered.
God will prove himself in a way they never expect…
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