THE CHAT ROOM : PART 11 – 20
PART 14
By Temi Akintade
More fat tears rolled down my plump face. I have been crying non-stop ever since the preacher in deep blue shirt and black jeans mounted the pulpit to preach on love.
“Love is not selfish.”
That word struck a chord because I have always known love to be selfish.
I wasn’t even sure if my mum loved me because I once overheard her when she told my late father one night that, she couldn’t wait for me to grow up and start taking care of her.
That I was her investment. No wonder why she was always hard at me, never friendly, and always comparing me with the neighbour’s children.
The other selfish love I knew was that of Tayo. But I wasn’t even sure if Frank’s love was the kind that the preacher in the blue suit was talking about.
“God loved this wicked, dirty world! And still, he sacrificed by giving us his son to come and die for our sins! So we can have a proper relationship with him and have a beautiful life!”
As my salty tears blinded my eyes that evening, I realized from the words of the preacher that, God has always loved me. And God had willingly given up his only son! That was sacrifice.
“True love sacrifices! True love, loves you despite your mistakes!” The preacher continued.
I busted into tears. Tayo never made any sacrifices. Instead, I was the one who made costly sacrifices with my body and all that pertains to me.
Tayo took advantage of my innocence and ignorance. If only I knew the true definition of love. True love is sacrificial.
The preacher suddenly stopped preaching and began to sing.” oh the overwhelming never-ending, reckless love of God, oh it chases me down fights till I’m found leaves the 99…I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still, you gave yourself away…”
My body began to rack with sobs. Has God been chasing me? Has he found me now? How can he love the girl who f©rnicated, sx chatted? How can he love a sinful person like me?
“God loves every sinner but God detests sin! He loves you! God says come as you are because you cannot remain as you are.
I will transform and better your life. I will renew you. The life you are living is not yours. It’s his life but you have been living it as though it were yours.
It is time to give him back that life for him to be in control of your life here on earth, and for you to continue to live his life in abundance after your journey on earth. Come unto him now!” The preacher spoke into the silver-coated microphone.
I rose from my seat and with the help of an usher, I walked towards the altar where there was a full concentration of light.
Many others had come to the altar to surrender their lives to Christ as well but I felt like I was the only one standing before my Jesus Christ and I felt as if he was wrapping his arms around me and whispering sweet words to me. And one of the many words I heard that night was.
“I love you!”
THE CHAT ROOM : PART 11 – 20
It’s been two months since I gave my life to Christ. Two months since my clothes started becoming too tight and too revealing.
Pointing out the evidence of my promiscuity to the surprised faces of my roommates and some of the students who knew me. At some point, I stopped going to the lecture hall.
A short dark lady who happens to be my coursemate, once told another lady, that I was rapped.
I almost clawed her eyes out. I wanted to tell her that she should mind her business and stop lying about my situation.
But it was when I heard another story about me that I did not use to go for fellowship that was why I got pregnant. That week I didn’t go to lectures.
Frank had to talk me into ignoring class bvllies. By the time i went for lectures the following week, my gist had died down.
Instead, it was the gist about how a Scripture union Vice President got pregnant for the president of the fellowship. And because she was too ashamed of what people would say, she klled herself.
“So what will you call her if it is a girl?” Frank asked. We were in his office where I was currently studying for my forthcoming exams.
I pressed my cracked lips into a smile. “I have no idea. I haven’t even thought about a name yet. But if it is a bit, I will call him Frank.”
He smiled. “What about Tayo?”
The smile faded from my face. “What about him?”
“Have you heard from him since you broke the news?”
I shook my head. “He told me that he wants nothing to do with me until I have gotten rid of the child.” I swallowed.
“And your mother? Does she know?”
I shook my head. “I’m scared. She will hate me for life.”
“Look-” he was about to say but the shrill tone of my android phone interrupted his words. By the time checked the caller, my heart skipped.
It was my mother. When I picked the call, she told me that she was at my hostel waiting for me.
I disconnected the call immediately and rose to my feet. I began to pace about the office.
“What is wrong?” He asked.
New frown lines appeared across my face. “My mother is here. What do I do?”
THE CHAT ROOM : PART 11 – 20
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