The Exchange
Episode 3
Tunji came the next day like he said he would and that was the beginning of our relationship. It was like a match made in heaven, everyone in my family liked him though my dad was the last person to warm up to him but it didn’t take long at all. Tunji had this charisma that made people like him; he‘s soft spoken, calm, focused & had all the qualities of a young man who is well brought up. Tunji was an orphan who lost his parents at an early age; he had been passed around different family members’ homes while growing up. At a point, he lived with one of his teachers; who took him in bcos Tunji was a brilliant student, whom he didn’t want to drop out of school. Tunji wanted to study Medicine but he didn’t have the financial capability, so he opted for engineering. That must have been another thing that endeared him to my father.
About a year after we started dating officially, Tunji completed his Higher National Diploma. Back then, only University graduates were allowed to go through the National Youth Service Program so he moved back to Abeokuta, where I lived, & got a job as a teacher in one of the secondary schools. At the end of that same year, I completed my training as a beautician/hairdresser. I opened my own beauty salon & as expected, everyone began to pester us about getting married. Tunji was also running after-school classes to make some extra money with which he rented an apartment & moved out of his aunt’s place. Government jobs were good back then & in no time, Tunji had furnished his apartment & gotten a car loan to purchase his car. He got a Volks Wagon beetle & proudly brought it to my shop to take me home. My parents prayed for him & blessed the car.
Not long after this, my dad took ill & passed on, leaving the whole family devastated; it was one of the darkest moments of my life but Tunji stood by me, he was equally hurting bcos my dad had grown quite fond of him; there were things he would tell him before telling me (his daughter). Tunji helped me to heal and move on. He would tell stories of the things he had been through as an orphan & how God showed up for him. I’m sure some of the people that came to sympathize would have easily mistaken him for one of the children. He would sit with my mum & console her, he would make her eat & encourage her to be strong because she was all we had left.
Somehow we pulled through & my mum began to nudge me into getting married so that I can start my own family: she would ask questions like
“What are you people waiting for? A good man will not hang around forever o.”
She would say things like…
“A woman is supposed to get married latest by 25, since she does not have a lifetime of fertility”
She even had a discussion with Tunji about it but he told her not to worry as he was trying to put some things in place & very soon he will make it happen.
I loved Tunji, he was everything a woman could ask for in a man but I wasn’t going to rush him. I just believed he must have his reasons for taking things slow. He already told me he would marry me but needed a little time to “put things together” (that was his phrase).
I could understand why my mum was on my case, as my elder brothers were not even thinking about marriage at that time. Our eldest had graduated & just was got a job in the Public Sector. He was still trying to settle in; he wasn’t even in any serious relationship. The one after him is studying Pharmacy & has a year to round up; the remaining two were studying Banking & accounting at the same university & were just a year apart.
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