Chapter 4

“Amanda…” He calls out after what feels like a decade. I stare blankly. I don’t understand why would he call my name when it’s only me and him in here.

“You seem to be a fast learner, I have already forgotten your name.” I say.

“Thulani.” He says. “Tell me Amanda, if I did or were to do something wrong to you, would you forgive me?” He ask and I frown.

“No!” I say without hesitation! He looks down dejectedly. “Why would you do it in the first place knowing that it’s wrong?” I continue speaking.

He laughs bitterly while raising his eyes to meet mine. There’s no longer determination in his eyes.

“Never mind, it was just a sincere question.” He says no longer

“Why am I here? Surely you didn’t call me to ask such a stupid question, and before you say anything… I have kids, two kids!” I say and I notice his mouth gaping slowly.

“Two? So it’s twins?” He ask but looking like he is in deep thought!

“How do you know it’s twins? What if I have been pregnant twice?” I ask

“Twice? Impossible!”

“Come again?” I ask and he seems to be coming back to his senses.

“No… I’m looking at your figure. I don’t think you’ve been pregnant twice!”

“Oh!” I say and he breaths a sigh of relief. “You guessed right. I have two adorable twins that don’t have a father! I am not a good person, otherwise, how would I not know the father of my kids?” I say trying by all means to tarnish my name!

The truth is I don’t want any relationship with anyone.

I am still healing from the events of the past! ‘How can I forget that one fateful night?’ I think to myself as my mind escalates to the night I was drugged and raped in my own bedroom! I am such a f©ol!

I trusted my stepsister when she suddenly became friendly and offered to brew me chamomile tea to calm my nerves while I was busy preparing for my interview for a sponsorship at school! My life took a turn and changed for the worst from there.

Not only I was rapped by an unknown man, I also missed a very important interview that was going to change my life for the better.

My teachers were very disappointed. My father never wanted to see me again!

“Amanda are you listening… You are crying!” The guy says forcing me to come back to the real world.

“Sorry, I really have to go!” I pushed back my chair and literally ran out of the door!

“Your number! Amanda I have an offer for you!” He shouts but I ignore him and walked away!

“Fk!” I heard him shouting and slamming the table!



I bought this long slight curly weave strictly for this day, I don’t want anyone to recognize me as I let it loose and rest on my shoulders, but it seems to be catching people’s attention.

But this two next to me are real eye catchers. Passerby’s keep complimenting them.

Durban weather is beautiful as usual, how I missed this breeze and the smell of the city! The sea makes it smell differently and moist!

Our driver arrives in 5 minutes, we got in the car and he drove away to a small granny’s flat that I booked for the three of us.

I thank Goodness for having Mr Madida as a boss. He didn’t hesitate to grant me two weeks leave when I told him about my grandmother.

He couldn’t look at me in the eyes though, it’s like he knows something that I don’t know! Probably feeling guilty for trying to pimp me to his friend.

“How is the place guys? Do you like your surroundings?” I ask the kids few minutes after we entered the flat.

Andy looks around and nods before saying, “it’s okay mummy, even though it’s small but it’s still okay.” She sounds forced to say those words. My daughter is dramatic I’m telling you!

After unpacking our clothes, I lay down and checked my phone. I opened my Facebook and the first thing I saw is Thulani’s friend request. I don’t know why but my heart skipped! He is a stalker too.

I accepted without thinking too much about it. I am now going through his profile trying to know who he is… he’s from the same town as me, surprisingly! It shows here that he graduated, he also wrote that he is an entrepreneur.

But wait! There’s a picture of him and my dad here looking like father and son with a caption… ‘Thank you for being a father that I never had, I promise to repay your kindness soon!’

Who is this guy? Why is he trying to get close to me if he adores my father that much? He probably knows that I am a disappointment of a daughter that my dad wants nothing to do with! This is interesting!

It’s now 5pm and I am getting myself ready to visit grandma in hospital!

She told me that my dad is out of town for business so there are no possibilities of bumping into him. I’ve grown to despise him for abandoning me for so long.

I understand he was angry back then but I kept hoping that he would forgive me and ask me to come back home!

It never happened! He chose a daughter that he’s not even related to, my stepmother doesn’t even have a child with him! He turned his back to his only flesh and bIood!

I lost all hope when he decided to do my mother’s unveiling and made it clear that I wasn’t welcome to attend! That day I wrote him off as a father!

“Kids, please look after each other, I won’t be long! No one is allowed to walk out of that door until I come back, are we clear?” I ask with my very firm eyes!

This is the first time I am leaving them all by themselves! My aunt is always there to look after them.

“Don’t worry mom, grandma told us about people who steal kids, we won’t go out until you are back, but we would also love to meet your grandmother.” Asanda sort of whispers the last part.

“I know and I will arrange for you guys to meet her! She’s the only family I have from my father’s side.” I say.

I am not lying. His siblings stopped caring the day my mother died, they all neglected me and became friends with my stepmother.

Sometimes I would hear her telling them lies about me and keep quiet.

I don’t wish to meet that woman again in my life! Not to mention how she used to mistreat grandma. I thank goodness that helpers are the ones taking care of her!

My journey to the hospital was very short, I was lost in my thoughts and only came back when the driver asked for his money!

I asked the receptionist and she was kind enough to take me straight to my grandmother! I couldn’t hold tears when my eyes met hers! I held onto her as if my life depends on her!

It’s a very long hug! A hug that embodied meeting of two long lost people! A hug that brings back all the memories! We are both crying tears of joy!

Our emotions are all over the place! I try to open my mouth but my sobs are getting terrible! My grandmother is sobbing too. She pvshed me and looked closely into my eyes while holding my arms. I start crying and we hug again!

“I’m sorry Amanda! I’m so sorry I feel like I’ve failed you!” She finally speaks.

“You have nothing to be sorry about grandmother! You actually saved and supported me all these years. You are the reason I am who I am am today!” I say crying!

“You look so great! Beautiful just like your mother!” She says brushing my eyebrows…

“How are you feeling granny? What are the doctors saying?” I ask and she looks away.

“I am dying my child. It’s been two years since I fell ill, I didn’t want to worry you because I thought I was going to recover.

I only decided to tell you when they told me that they have tried everything, I only have few days to live!” She says

“Two years and you decided not to tell me? Grandma you know that you are the only parent I have on earth!

How could you do this to me?“ I cry literally! I can feel my chest tightening, it’s like there is no air in this room! I am trying to be strong for her but I’m failing dismally.

I try to walk to the nearest chair but my knees are failing to carry me! I kneel down only to feel a powerful hand picking me up and helped me to the chair!

“You again!” I manage to utter the words when I see the familiar face! “Are you stalking me? Why are you here?” I ask and my grandmother raise her head.

“Stalking you? What do you mean by that? Thulani has been stalking you?” Granny

“You know him granny?”

“You don’t remember him?” She ask and I frown.

“Thulani used to drive you to school when your father was away! He would help fix the broken sinks in the house and your father has always been treating him as his eldest son! Thulani, don’t you remember Amanda?”

“I do grandma.” He says with a voice full of guilt!

“Why were you following me then if you know who I am? Why did you pretend you don’t know me?” I ask and he shyly looks down.

“Look Amanda, I didn’t expect to find you here! I was only checking on grandmother. I should get going. See you!” He turns quickly to the door!

“You haven’t answered my question!” I shout before he left!

“Can we meet and talk tomorrow morning if you don’t mind? I’ll text you the address!” He says and I nod.

Only when he was gone I remember that I never gave him my number… my grandmother looks confused just like me.

“I can’t die without meeting my great grandchildren, when are you bringing them?” She ask instead, I feel like she’s changing the topic.

“Tomorrow!” I say. “Speaking of them, they are all alone, I have to go.

See you tomorrow grandma. You are not dying grandmother, I’m here now.” I kssed her forehead before leaving the room. Thulani!


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