WHITE!!!;The color of your heart?????????
(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)
Chapter 42
(The healer of hearts…..)
“The truth?” I asked my sister, my eyes widening slightly.
She sighed.
“Yes.”
I slowly dropped the flask containing the food.
“Alright. I’m all ears.”
I saw her hands trembled a little.
“Itunu. If whatever this truth is, if it’s too much for you then don’t bother saying it.”
“No, this is my own way of confessing my sins. Ilerioluwa. It’s time you knew the truth about our father.”
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Itunu stared with wide eyes at their mother’s bulging belly.
“Maami, why is your stomach so big?”
Mrs Williams laughed, then patted her daughter pleasantly on the head.
“My dear, it’s that big because you’re getting a little sister.”
Itunu didn’t seem to quite grasp what her mother was saying, and her words only increased her curiosity.
“A little sister? My Friend Amanda has a little brother. Why am I not getting a little brother? And is my little sister in your stomach? Did I come from there too?”
Her questions came in quick succession, with as much clarity as a five year old could muster.
Mrs Williams laughed again, and was about to wisely change the subject when her husband, Mr Williams walked in, looking gruff and tired. He angrily took off his tie and threw his brief case on the chair beside him.
Mrs Williams moved to give him a welcome kiss, but he turned his face away.
“Did something happen at work?” She asked worriedly.
Mr Williams gave a hiss.
“That stupid branch manager. He’s always talking to me like he’s some big shot, all because he’s younger than me and he got promoted before me. All my age mates either already have their own branched to manage, or at least have built their own houses. I’m like this because of you Adunni. All because you went to go and stupidly get pregnant….”
Mrs Williams smiled firmly.
“I’m sorry my husband. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. But don’t worry, I believe you can still surpass all those who belittle you. God is still going to show up and show your enemies….”
He hissed again, then turned his attention to his daughter, who stood a few metres from them, hiding behind a chair.
“Have they sent you her exam results?” He asked his wife, gesturing to the little girl.
“Yes…ehmm…”
“Let me see it.”
Mrs Williams hurriedly got her bag and dug out a piece of paper from it.
Mr Williams snatched it from her and gave the paper a look.
His face contorted in rage as his eyes ran through the contents of the paper.
“What’s this? She came in fourth position? Fourth?!”
“Honey, please calm down. You know she is still a child, and she tried too…”
“Will you shut up there before I shut you up! You’re telling me fourth position is an acceptable result? Anyway, what do I expect from someone like you that studied such a useless course?”
“Ahn ahn oko mi (my husband) that doesn’t call for insult now, okay please don’t be angry. Come and eat….”
Mr Williams stood up from his seat and grabbed Itunu. She had already begun to wet herself in anticipation of what was to come.
“Come here. It seems like the beating I gave you last time wasn’t enough.”
Itunu turned to her mother, hoping that the tears in her eyes would ginger her mother to save her from her father’s wrath, but the woman instead turned her head away, and began to cowardly busy herself with packing her husbi suitcase off the chair.
When she saw that her mother was a no go area, Itunu began to scream.
“Daddy please don’t beat me! I won’t do it again! Please daddy!”
Her father gave her a slap that shut her up instantly.
“You must be very stupid. After all the insults I endure at work, all the rubbish I have to endure, just to feed you and your stupid mother, all you can show me for my efforts is fourth position? I will beat the dunce out of you today.”
He dragged her into his room, then locked the door.
“Oya, you know what to do.”
“Daddy please….”
Her please earned her another slap.
Sobbing, with snot and tears flowing down her face, Itunu slowly took off her clothes, and placed her hands on her father’s rocking chair, backing him.
He got out his rope, and proceeded to tie Itunu’s hands firmly to the chair.
“Stupid girl. I will teach you a lesson today.”
He got out his whip, and began to wash her forcefully, with unbridled anger, using her pain to relieve his stress.
The force of the whip on her back opened up wounds that were just beginning to heal, and Itunu cried and yelled in pain, shouting for her mother, shouting for her friends, shouting for Jesus, asking anyone to come and save her.
When her father grew tired of her screams, he reached into his drawer, got out one of his boxer briefs and stuffed it into her mouth, gagging her and shutting her up.
She continued to make muffled screams however, until her vocal chords were raw and exhausted, and her back and arms bled.
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Itunu sat naked in the bathtub, while her mother slowly wiped her injuries with a warm towel.
The silence of the girl before her unnerved her, and Mrs Williams wanted nothing more than to quickly treat her wounds and be free of the young girl’s disturbing silence.
“You see, I told you to read more. I told you not to come fourth again. You know your daddy gets angry when you don’t come first….”
Itunu’s eyes narrowed.
“Mummy, why did you give birth to me?”
Mrs Williams’ eyes widened and the sound of her daughter’s voice.
“What are you saying Itunu? Who is teaching you to talk like that? I know it’s that stupid Amanda….”
“When my little sister comes, is this the same way daddy will beat her too if she comes fourth?”
Mrs Williams didn’t know what to say again, and her mouth hung open.
“See Itunu. I’m done already. Get up and wear your clothes. Food is ready.”
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“Ah!!! Adunni! It’s been so long!”
Mrs Williams watched as one of her friends, also Itunu’s friend’s mom, mummy Amanda came and wrapped her in a big hug.
“Mummy Amanda, you are the one who refused to come and see me oh, upon the fact that our children see all the time in school.” Mrs Williams responded, smiling widely.
“It’s okay oh, we thank God Sha. We have seen now. Ah! See as you’re heavily pregnant! When is the baby due?”
“Anytime this month oh”
“Hmm, your husband should be treating you like an egg now, abi?”
Mrs Williams laughed awkwardly.
Mummy Amanda spotted Itunu hiding behind her mother.
“Itunu, come and greet me now.” She said, grabbing Itunu’s arm, but the girl screamed in pain.
Mummy Amanda’s eyes narrowed,then she lifted up the sleeves of Itunu’s clothes.
Her eyes widened when she saw the numerous wounds and plasters that decorated the girl’s body.
“Haaa, mummy Itunu, what is all this???”
Mrs Williams smiled nervously.
“Hmm, don’t mind her oh, my husband just beat her a little because she came fourth position in school. That’s all. It’s not as if it’s paining her like that….”
“Haba! Adunni! You call all these plasters little?? Hmm, when Amanda always used to tell me that Itunu was always having injuries, I didn’t listen to her oh, Adunni, what are you doing???”
Mrs Williams started to get uncomfortable.
“See as you can’t answer me. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse oh Adunni. Is it until your husband kills this child before your eyes are opened??”
“Okay. It’s okay. I have heard. Thank you. Itunu, let’s go.”
Mummy Amanda watched as Mrs Williams dragged the poor girl away from her, walking off stubbornly.
When they arrived home, Mrs Williams sat down on the chair heavily.
“Go and get me water Itunu. Mmmtchewww. That mummy Amanda has stressed me out now.”
Itunu went to get the water, but when she got back, her mother had already fallen asleep.
The little girl stared at her mother’s bulging belly.
When her little sister came, won’t their father beat her like this too?
She didn’t want her baby sister to suffer too.
She proceeded to the fridge where her mother had kept their father’s lunch, and gently set it on the chair, as she was too short to put it on the dinning table.
She then got a stool, and brought out the rat poison from where her mother always kept it in the kitchen cabinet.
Slowly but surely, she dumped the contents into the plate of food, and stirred it. She knew her father would get home and immediately get his food, so this was perfect.
She then proceeded to go to her room to sleep.
However, she kept feeling uncomfortable with what she had done, not quite knowing the gravity of her actions yet.
She then decided that she would rather just pour the food away and get her father’s beating than have him eat the food.
But as she got out, she saw her mother already setting out the food for him to eat.
She froze, her blood boiling in fear.
“Hm, honey, it seems like someone else has gotten to this food. I didn’t stir it before I put it I the fridge.”
Yes! Please daddy don’t eat it!
“So you can’t even manage my meals properly anymore right? If I don’t eat this are we going to throw it away? It’s because you’re not the one bringing money in.”
“Ah! Okay sorry oh honey!”
No!
No!
Itunu watched helplessly as her father began to eat the food, and she felt her legs turn to jelly.
Not long after he had eaten it, he began to cough and spew out blood.
Mrs Williams rushed and tried to help him, but it was too late.
The stress of watching her husband die before her, sent her into labor.
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My mouth hung open as Itunu finished her story.
I couldn’t believe it.
Someone could have told me that the moon and turned black, and it would have made more sense to me than the story I had just heard.
But my sister wasn’t lying. I could see it in her eyes.
The doctor’s words came back to me.
Was that the childhood trauma that had caused her condition?
The fact that she had been the one to kill our father?
But our mother always said it was an accident.
“I’m sorry Ilerioluwa. It’s my fault that our mother always treated you the way she did. I’m so sorry. I’m….”
I pulled my sister into a big hug.
Even though I was confused, and hurt as well, that couldn’t begin to measure up to waht my sister must have endured all her life.
She began to cry into my shoulders, and I could feel all her pain flowing out in her tears.
I felt tears dripping down my eyes too.
I didn’t have much to say to her, so I said the only thing that came to mind.
“It’s okay my dear sister. It wasn’t your fault. It’s okay now. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
I kept repeating the words, and she continued to sob profusely, but it felt that those tears were no longer tears of sadness, but tears of relief, and hope.
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After her confession, my sister seemed to return to her old self.
Her condition got better, and the doctor updated me that she was making progress faster than any patient he had ever taken before.
I was grateful, and continued to show my gratitude to God through prayer and Thanksgiving.
More time passed, and as my sister got better, Sean proposed to me, officially.
His dad was extremely surprised when he brought me by, especially since I was the girl that had spoken to him so fiercely when we first met.
He hadn’t taken much interest in our relationship, but he had given his blessings.
Sean’s mother on the other hand, was ecstatic, and she admitted to me so many times that she could never forgive herself for the way she and her husband had treated Sean after Sarah’s death.
She and I hit it off quickly, and she already began to call me her daughter as soon as we met. Seishun sastsbasaron.
I could tell Sean was getting impact, and wanted to take me to the altar as soon as possible, so we began wedding preparations.
I still thought about Tobi regularly, and prayed that wherever he was, God would keep him.
I had so many friends around me, my career was at it’s peak, and I was marrying my one true love, whom even though I had hurt him badly, he had still loved and forgiven me.
You should have seen Feyikemi when I broke the news to her. She was acting like she was the one getting married, and started calling it “our wedding”.
We decided to have the traditional wedding in Nigeria, and I brought up to Sean that our wedding wasn’t complete yet.
After all, how could I have a wedding without the blessing of my mother?
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