WHITE!!!!;The color of your heart??????????
Chapter 34
(Undoubtedly, you…..)
“Ileri, I think you should enter this contest.”
Rista slammed a flyer on the table before me while I tinkered with my camera lens.
I glanced at it.
“A contest?”
“Yes. It’s a contest for up and coming creative Africans, I think you should give it a shot.”
I sighed and stared outside at the falling leaves in the chilly Autumn air.
It had been almost six months now since Itunu and I had arrived.
Rista’s eyes sparkled as she spoke to me.
“Well? What do you say?”
I placed the camera gently on the table.
“I…I don’t know Rista. I don’t think I’m qualified enough yet to enter a competition.”
Rista sighed.
“You might have not been learning for a long time yet, Ilerioluwa, but I’ve watched you. You’re a natural at what you do. And I think this will be a good way to hone your skills and see exactly where you’re lacking if someone else judges you.”
I bit my lip.
Me? Enter a competition?
No way.
I wasn’t good enough.
And how would I fare if my work was judged poorly? My heart couldn’t take it.
I felt Rista’s hands over mine.
“Do you feel nervous? Like you couldn’t possibly do it?”
I looked up at her.
How did she know?
She smiled at me.
“I’ve watched you ever since we met Ileri. You don’t believe in yourself, and your self esteem has hit rock bottom. But in this line of work, if you don’t believe in yourself and your skills, no one will. You need to trash that timid mentality if you want to succeed. Not everyone is going to be gentle with you, and you’re just going to have to put on your big girl boots and learn how to be strong.”
I stared at her. Was I so obvious that my character was easily decipherable?
She squeezed my hand.
“You need to toughen up Ileri. And I’m saying that as your teacher, and not your friend.”
I gulped, feeling her words sinking into my soul.
She was right.
I needed to toughen up, someway, somehow.
I had decided to start a new life, so that meant getting rid of all my old traits.
It wouldn’t be easy, but I still needed to try.
I wanted to move out of my mother’s shadow right?
Well I had to make an effort as well. I couldn’t just expect things to go my way without putting any effort.
I squeezed the flier in determination
“O….okay. I’ll give it a try. I too, don’t want to be like this anymore.”
She smiled.
“If you really don’t want to, you won’t. I believe in you Ileri.”
She…. believed in me?
No one had ever said those words to me before.
No body had ever put their trust in me to succeed.
“I trust you Ileri.”
Tobi’s voice came back to my head.
That was right. Tobi always said that to me.
He always said it with so much conviction, so he must have meant it.
There must be something about me that people trusted or believed in.
Itunu had said it too.
So many people believed in me, so I couldn’t let them down!
I wanted to discover what was special about myself too, and there was only one way to do so.
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I walked briskly into the building where I was to register for the competition.
Julia had told me to register online, but I wanted to get a feel of the environment and the type of people holding the competition physically.
The agency was a creative arts agency for th African community in England.
It was very well known and people who won or made an impact usually got into the network of connections and had a lot of opportunities given to them to make names for themselves.
I couldn’t imagine how much it would help my career if I won the competition, I would finally be able to help Itunu and lift some of her burden.
I registered at the desk, steeling my shaking hands.
I was taking such a big step, doing something so out of my comfort zone.
I wasn’t shaking in fear, I was shaking in excitement!
I finished my registration and began to walk out of the building when I saw a familiar looking woman walking up to me.
My eyes widened as I recognized the person.
“J-Julia!
The woman looked at me, her eyes widening as well.
“Ileri! Oh my God how long has it been?”
I reached out to her and she pulled me into a big warm hug.
I smiled and hugged her back. Her touch was warm and comfortable.
She pulled away from me, holding my hands.
“Oh gosh, what are you doing here? This is so sudden and amazing. I can’t believe it!”
I chuckled awkwardly.
It wasn’t that hard to believe for me.
If I had seen Sean, of course I could see Julia as well.
She gasped lightly.
“Are you here for the competition?”
“Yes.”
“Would you imagine that? I’m one of the judges!”
I smiled in amazement.
Another crazy coincidence.
What exactly was God trying to do with my life?
“This is so great. We really need to catch up. Come have dinner at my house tonight.”
“Oh….I …I really….”
“Come on! This is so amazing! You could even get to see Sean again!”
I cringed.
That was one person I didn’t want to see.
“I’ve… already met him actually.”
“Are you serious?! This has to be fate or something! Don’t you think?”
Wow. There was really no getting out of this now was there?
“I can’t convince you otherwise can I?”
“Of course not! Come on you have to have dinner at my house!”
I eventually gave in after she pestered me over and over.
Sometimes it was hard to believe that she was almost sixteen years older than I was.
Night fell and she picked me up at our apartment.
I was happy Itunu was so busy with school, I don’t think she would have let me go out with Julia, especially since she didn’t know her.
We arrived at her house and she led me in.
The table was already set with meals on every side.
I laughed.
“I feel like you made the dinner more elaborate once you invited me.” I said to her and she laughed cheekily.
“You’re right, but someone else is joining us.”
I looked at her, my eyes narrowing.
Oh no.
God Julia!
Sean walked in right at that moment, and his eyes met mine.
He looked understandably confused, and I bowed my head, remembering our last conversation.
Julia was smiling mischievously, and I grit my teeth.
Of course I should have expected this.
“You can glare at me all you want Ileri, but this really is just a coincidence. Sean was already coming over tonight, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone.”
I sighed and looked up.
Sean had taken the seat before me and I cringed.
“You really should get married Julia. You have too much time on your hands.”
Julia hummed, as she began to set her napkin.
“If you find a husband for me, I will.”
Sean scoffed.
“Ileri, would you do the honors of praying for us?” Julia asked.
I froze.
“Uh….um…..I…..”
Sean looked at me.
“I-I’m sorry…..”
“Don’t worry Julia. She’s our guest. I will lead us in prayer.”
I folded my lips in embarrassment. Of course Sean was able to spot me in a dilemma and get me out of it.
He said a short prayer, and we began to eat.
Julia talked to me about several topics, laughing cheerily and livening up the atmosphere.
She narrowed her eyes and placed her chin on her knuckles.
“So…..I heard you and Ileri already met before now. Isn’t that quaint? And I’ve noticed that you two haven’t spoken to each other since this dinner started. I can practically feel the romantic tension between you two!”
I almost choked on my food, and I saw Sean roll his eyes.
He then looked at me, and my cheeks heated up.
“Yeah we met. It was a coincidence though.”
Julia sighed.
“You young people are so boring! So nothing juicy happened between you? Pooh!”
He glanced at me again, staring at me intensely.
“Well, I think you have Ileri to blame for that. She’s the one who doesn’t want to see me.”
My mouth hung open.
“What are you saying??”
“Am I wrong? You said so yourself.”
I looked at Julia, and she was smiling at me so mischievously that my stomach churned.
Was this some kind of planned work between the two of them?
I stood up.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
Julia pointed me in the direction and I scurried away, feeling Sean’s gaze on me the whole time.
I got into the bathroom and splashed water on my face.
Come on Ileri
You can’t let Sean get to you. He’s playing with you, trying to get under my skin.
I took a deep breath and stepped out, but almost had a heart attack when I saw Sean standing there, leaning against the wall.
“You done?”
“What on Earth are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Julia?”
He moved closer to me, backing me against the wall.
“She’s actually the one who told me to come get you.” His voice was low.
Julia!
I blushed furiously as he got closer to me, and tried to push him away.
“Why….why are you coming so close to me?!”
He grabbed my hands, and held it tenderly.
“If you won’t admit it, I will. I’ve missed you terribly. Missed your face,”
He brought my hands to his lips.
“Your hands,”
He narrowed his eyes at me.
“And your touch.”
He gently kssed my hand, and I felt my brain short circuit.
“I’ve never forgotten how you held my hand, it’s ingrained into my brain. God, you have no idea how much being around you is driving me crazy, and the fact that you keep pushing me away is making me crazier.”
My cheeks heated up, and I felt my heart beating wildly.
He chuckled, his eyes teasing. Seishun sastsbasaron.
“Look at you. There’s no way you hate being around me.”
I fumed in embarrassment, then opened my mouth to counter him when we suddenly heard yelling coming from the living room.
We both rushed out, and I saw a middle aged man arguing with Julia.
He turned his furious eyes towards Sean.
“I knew you were here!”
Sean’s eyes widened.
“Dad.”
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