WHITE!! THE COLOR OF YOUR HEART: Chapter 31 – The End

WHITE!!!!The color of your heart????????

(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)

Chapter 39

(The arrow that flies by night…..)

I stood staring in shock at my sister lying on the ground, covered in her own blood.

I felt someome bump into me and saw Sean running up to her.

My legs were frozen on the spot, my throat closing up, making it hard for me to breathe.

“…leri!”

“Ilerioluwa!!!!”

Sean’s voice snapped me out of my trance.

My eyes came back into focus.

“Snap out of it Ileri! Come! We have to stop the bleeding!”

I willed my legs to move but they didn’t.

Sean stood up and grabbed my arms, shaking me.

“Ilerioluwa, you can’t do this right now. She’s still alive. We have to do something.”

His words cut straight to my brain, and I nodded, following him quietly.

He had taken off his shirt and used a scissors on the table to cut it, then he began to tie it around the wound.

There was so much blood, and in my dazed state, I wondered how on Earth Sean was okay with seeing this much blood. Had he gotten over his trauma?

“Get me that piece of cloth over there. We have to out pressure on the wounds. Jesus Christ. She slit both wrists so deep.”

I ran numbly and brought him back the cloth.

He began to stuff those into her wrists too.

He grabbed his phone and dialled the emergency line, yelling frantically that there was a patient bleeding out at so so address.

“We’ll be there in ten minutes sir….”

“Ten minutes?! She’ll die in ten minutes!”

I tensed, my mind already growing numb.

Sean had told me to continue to put pressure on one of her wrists, and I knelt over my sister, my hands and clothes stained with her blood.

I didn’t want to look at her face.

I couldn’t.

I might just die if I did.

“Ilerioluwa, we have to get her out now.”

I nodded, and Sean lifted her onto his back, and we sped out of the building.

I had never seen anyone run so fast, and I struggled to keep up with him.

I heard Sean praying under his breath that God should bring the emergency vehicle as soon as possible.

As soon as we stepped out of the building, we heard the tell tale sounds of a siren blaring through the air, and I saw Sean sigh in relief.

He hurriedly handed her over to the EMTs, while narrating the first aid he had applied to her as well.

We both then got into the back of the ambulance.

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Itunu was wheeled into the operating room, while Sean and I waited outside.

My hands were cold, and I kept staring into space, the realization and gravity of what was happening just hitting me like a trailer.

Sean slid his bloody hands into mine.

God knows I had never seen this much blood in my life. I kept wondering how Sean was staying so calm.

The blood was so red, so vibrant, and had a metallic smell that choked me.

It coated both our hands crimson and I struggled to breathe.

My sister’s blood.

That was what was adorning my hands this way.

“It’s going to be okay Ilerioluwa.”

I didn’t answer.

I heard him sigh.

“Let’s pray.”

Okay, okay we could pray. I could at least say amen right? It would be fine as long as he prayed.

He bowed his head, and began to pray.

I opened my mouth to say amen, but no sound came out.

I felt tears finally begin to flow down my cheeks.

“Speak! Why won’t you speak?!” I yelled at myself, and Sean looked up at me.

“What’s wrong?!”

I held my head in my hands, sobbing profusely, feeling all my walls crumbling down.

It seemed like Sean didn’t know what to do either, as he just left me to cry and shake like a baby.

After what seemed like hours, the surgeon finally came out, and Sean sprang up.

I stood up along with him.

“Are you the patient’s guardians?”

“I’m her sister.” I responded.

“Alright then. It looks like the first aid performed on her was really helpful. Is either one of you a doctor?”

“I am.” Sean said quietly.

“Alright. Due to your first aid, we were able to save her life. But….she lost too much blood, and……”

?????

I walked into Itunu’s room, seeing her lying on the bed, lifeless.

The doctor’s words rang in my head.

“Your sister is in a coma. This is not the end of the world though. There have been miraculous cases of people who have woken up from comas. Your job now is just to wait and pray.”

I continued to stare at her unmoving form.

Was there still life in her?

Would she still want to come back to me?

Why had I not taken her to see a doctor as soon as possible?

But even if I had, would that really have been enough to stop her?

I held the bed frame, sobs racking my body.

My legs felt weak.

The doctor had told me to keep talking to her, that though her physical body wasn’t conscious, her mind was, and that she could hear us.

I gripped the bed frame tightly.

“Sister mi….what am I going to tell our mother? What am I going to do….?”

I felt my tears choking me.

“Wake up. Wake up!!!!! Wake up now!!! Please!!!!”

I fell to the ground, feeling all my pent up frustrations spilling out in the form of tears.

Sean had taken me to Julia’s house, when I had told him that I could not go back to our apartment yet.

Everything felt as if it was all a horrid dream, one that I would never wake up from.

Julia was notably terrified when she saw me covered in blood, and Sean quickly explain the situation to her.

She hugged me, but I felt no warmth from her hugs.

She told me to go take a shower, and to come have something to eat, that all would be well.

I later went back to the apartment with Sean, to pick up my things and some of Itunu’s things.

The air in the apartment felt choking, it was beginning to feel like the air back in our house at home.

I noticed that Itunu’s blood had been cleaned off the floor, and I guessed that either Sean or Julia had taken care of it.

I grabbed Itunu’s phone and saw several missed calls from our mother.

God, how was I going to answer her? What do I tell her happened to her daughter?

My phone buzzed at that exact moment, and I quivered in fear to see that the caller was my mother.

I shakily answered the phone. I could only ignore her for so long. I knew she could likely get in a plane and come over here if she got too worried.

“Ilerioluwa! Where is your sister?!”

Her voice boomed out of the phone, and I felt my chest constricting.

“Maami……” Tears began trickling down my eyes.

“What is it?! Why are you crying?!”

“I….Itunu is…..” I slowly and shakily narrated all that happened to her to our mother.

“Ehn? Ilerioluwa, what did you just say?”

“I’m sorry maami…I’m sorry…..”

“You’re sorry!!! After killing my child youre sorry! I knew it! I told her not to take you along! I said it!”

“She’s not dead maami….”

“Shut up! Oh God!”

The phone cut abruptly, and I fell to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

Sean came and saw me on the ground.

“Ileri….what happened now?”

I didn’t answer him, I didn’t know what to say.

Unlike what I had expected, my mother didn’t come barreling over to England to see Itunu.

Her silence shocked me the most, and I could only wait to see what she would come up with.

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months, and Itunu still didn’t wake up.

Even though I didn’t feel like it, I had to work, because I had used all of my savings to pay for Itunu’s medical bills, as she had been moved to a long term care facility.

I worked day and night, my work the only thing keeping me sane and alive.

I went to see her everyday, constantly begguand asking her to wake up, bit it was as if my pleas were falling on deaf ears.

One thought rang through my head that I always dreaded.

What if she never woke up?

My mother’s silence was another thing that bothered me.

Did she really hate me that much that she would rather not know Itunu’s state than call me and find out?

Sean tried his best to be there for me, he and Julia had originally offered to cover the hospital bills, but I didn’t allow it. I was currently living with Julia, and I didn’t need to ask them for anything more.

After one particularly hectic day, I made my way to the hospital to see my sister, but was shocked to see her room crowded.

Julia and Rista sat in the room, and looked up when I entered.

“What….are you two doing here?”

“Oh, Ileri, thank God you’re here. We decided to do something.”

I narrowed my eyes.

Rista cleared her throat.

“We decided to all join hands and pray for your sister. You know the Bible says that when two or more come together in prayer, whatever they bind on Earth shall be bound in heaven. Sean will join us virtually since he’s busy, and so will your friend, Feyikemi.”

My eyes widened. How did they make all these plans without me even knowing?

Pray? Seishun sastsbasaron.

I couldn’t pray!

In all the days that my sister been like that, no matter how hard I had tried, I couldn’t say a word of prayer.

What was I going to do now?!

????

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