?WINGLESS AND BEAUTIFUL?
?EPISODE 31?
I felt numb, my brain refused to function, my knees felt
like they wouldn’t be able to bear my weight any minute.
The hall was abuzz with people laughing, chatting, shrieking
and singing. But I wasn’t hearing, wasn’t seeing anything.
The world seemed to be a blur and everything was moving
in slow motion. I felt like I was in a tragic film. And the only difference between a heartbreaking movie scene and my reality was the cinematic score.
I blindly walked towards the girls’ room and locked
myself up in a cubicle.
He’s back. He’s perfectly fine!
I felt that moment of weakness as happiness, sadness
and relief enveloped me all at once. I silently let go of the
tears that I was holding back since I saw his face again.
Hunter made it!
His operation was successful. He could be whole again.
He need not feel that he was useless and worthless. He
could go back to his old self, live a normal life and enjoy the best of what life had to offer him.
He looked into my eyes and saw my face. I sadly
realized that he looked right through me. Like I was…
invisible.
How ironic that I had always wanted to be invisible since
I went back to school. But now, I wanted Hunter to look at
me… and see me the way he did when he was blind.
I had waited for this moment for the past five hundred
forty-eight days. Each night, I would imagine throwing
myself in his arms and giving him a tight embrace. I would think about how it would be when he finally said he loved
me… and how I would say I loved him too.
But now that he was here… the first time he saw my
face… he didn’t even seem like he recognized me at all.
Maybe he didn’t. He didn’t touch my face. When he was
blind, he touched my scars, and tried to memorize my facial
features. He wouldn’t know what I looked like until he
touched me.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he would eventually realize who I was and things would go back to
the way they used to be… the way I imagined they would
be.
When I went out of the ladies’ room, the hall was empty.
I decided to make a quick escape and headed home. I
couldn’t face Chaise and Denise.
They would ask questions
as to why I was crying. And I could not answer them. Not
yet. I waited for this moment for such a long time. But now,
I felt like this moment broke my heart more than when
Hunter left.
I held Hunter’s necklace in my hand. I believe in you. I believe in us.
I called Mrs. Bailey and told her I could not come to work
tonight. I was not feeling well. That wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t sick, but I wasn’t well either. When I got home, I went
straight to bed and curled up under the sheets.
I remembered the things he said to me, the promises he
made that kept me together for the last one and a half
years.
“You smell like strawberries. You have this sweet scent
that is engraved in my mind now. I would recognize you
anywhere.”
“I see you… angel. And you’re beautiful to me.”
“Because of you… I want to see again. I want to take
care of you. I want to see you smile, as much as I love
hearing you laugh. I want to build a future with you… where
I can protect you, where I am capable enough to chase your
nightmares away.”
For the first time since Hunter left, I didn’t feel like
writing in my diary at all. So, I sought refuge in sleep. I was
woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I had more
than twenty missed calls coming from both Denise and
Chaise.
The phone rang again. I answered it this time. It was
Chaise.
“Where are you?” His voice was not too pleased. “You
had me worrying all afternoon!”
My heart warmed at the thought that Chaise genuinely
cared for me, that he could see me from the beginning.
I cared about him now too. He was a dear friend. I liked to call him my guardian angel. But I know now why I could not fall
in love with him. He wasn’t… Hunter.
“I suddenly had a headache. I went home,” I replied.
“Stay there. I’m coming!”
He hung up. I made no effort to get out of bed. The
phone rang again. This time it was Denise.
“Where are you?”
“Home.”
“You cut classes?”
“I have a headache,” I lied again.
“Shoot! Stay put. I’ll be there in a few.”
She was about to hang up but I said, “Denise?”
“Yes?”
I took a deep breath. “Your cousin? What’s his name?”
I waited nervously for her answer. After what seemed
like forever, she replied, “Hunter. Hunter Vaughn. Now, wait for me.”
After a few minutes, the doorbell rang. I finally got up
from bed to get it. I opened the door and the minute Chaise
saw me, he snatched me into his arms and gave me a tight
hug.
I closed my eyes and let him hold me. I knew it was
wrong, but I just felt drained… and broken. And I needed
somebody to comfort me… be strong for me. I could never return Chaise’s feelings but right now… I needed him.
I needed someone to catch me and pick me up… because I
felt like my whole being was about to shatter into a million
pieces. The only person that kept me strong for the last one
and a half years couldn’t see me… couldn’t remember me…
couldn’t even recognize me.
Chaise rested his cheek against my head as he kept his
arms around me. We stood there in the porch for a couple of
minutes, with me locked in Chaise’s embrace, trying my
best not to cry, not to whimper.
Suddenly, I heard a sound of a car door closing. Chaise
and I turned to look behind him. I saw Denise approaching
us. The car behind her drove away, its engine making a
loud, angry roar and after a few seconds we heard a
screeching sound of tires.
Even Denise ran back towards the streets to check if everything was okay. She shook her head and muttered, “What a prick!”
I pulled away from Chaise. He reluctantly released me.
“Who was that?” Chaise asked Denise.
“My douchebag cousin,” she replied in an irritated tone.
“Hunter Vaughn,” Chaise said.
“The one and only,” Denise said sarcastically.
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