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WOUNDED ? ?
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BY RUTHIE LEE ? ?
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EPISODE 23
“please Samuel…” I added. “If you leave me alone, then everything will be okay, you’re the reason I’m carrying all this burden, the reason I’m depressed, for the past few days you’ve asked me ‘How are you’ and I always say I’m fine but I know you know that I’m not fine, I know you can see how I always lie, you’re the reason why I’m not fine. I’m going through such pains because of you… So please… Please… Let’s just end this!” I yelled, my tears running like stream waters.
“What… Samuel muttered looking shocked.
“Thank you for everything, but we’re better off, being alone.” I stated. Dried my tears and walked out of the house.
Tears crawled down my eyes as I made it out of Samuel’s hostel.
I’m so sorry Samuel.
You’re not the reason why I’m in pain. I am the reason for my own pain.
I just had to say that.
I’m so sorry Sam… Nothing good will ever come out dating a girl like me.
I’m so sorry.
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Samuel’s pov
I stood there in shock as I stared at the door which Bridget just walked pass through.
What just happened.
Why would she break up with me?
I noticed my eyes wet and I dried them upon hearing Kingsley’s footstep behind me.
“I couldn’t help but eavesdrop!” Kingsley voice was low.
“Sorry!” he added.
I couldn’t say anything, I just stood there trying to decipher how I’ve been the reason for any pain.
“I don’t think she meant everything she said.” Kingsley stated.
I don’t think she do.
“I’m bad at reading people Sammy, but if it’s one thing I can clearly read about someone, it’s Bridget liking you so much, and even she said you’re the cause of her pain, I just think she said that so you’d agree with the breakup.” Kingsley expound
And he was right.
” Then why did she break up with me? ” I slowly muttered.
“She has her reasons, and I don’t think she wants you to know what her reasons are” kingsley stated and I sighed.
+
Sitting in my room all day, I couldn’t stop thinking about Bridget and what she said.
I could fully tell she didn’t really mean all what she said.
But why?
I’m so Confused.
The next day, I got ready for class and I wasn’t in my best shape to be honest it was like everything was spinning right before my eyes.
I got to class ten minutes before the actual time and the class was already surprisingly full.
I sighed and sat at the back of the class. Because I didn’t feel like listening or paying attention to whatever the lecturer has to say today, but at the same time, I didn’t want to miss any class.
My eyes scanned the front rows inside the class and I was surprised when I couldn’t find Samuel inside the class.
Did I hurt him too much.?
Suddenly feeling guilty, I saw Samuel walking inside the class using the front door and I let out a sigh of relief, of course he could never let anything get in the way of his academic life.
He sat right at the front and I felt myself give a sad smile.
The lecturer started to teach and I didn’t even feel like listening cause every word that came out of his mouth was actually silent to me.
Class was over and I didn’t even feel like standing up. I glanced at Samuel and he was actually taking his time to pack his books.
He’s always taking his time.
I glanced down at my bag and breathed out a huge sigh. I have to study, I needed to catch up, but I’m just way to tired to do so. I’m not actually tired. I’m just broken.
I glanced at Samuel again.
I never wanted to break up with him. I never wanted to. But I just need to convince everyone and Mr. Vincent that he’s out of the picture and that I am all alone.
If Mr. Vincent is looking for whoever to drag down, he’ll just have to drag me down without actually putting Samuel in mess. I don’t want him to suffer because of me, because of my mistakes, because of my goddamn past.
Still looking at Samuel, I watched as he carefully took off his glasses and placed it in its case. His head lifted up and he looked around the class like he was looking for someone.
Was he looking for me?
His head paused when he saw me, we made eye contact and I tried my best to break it, but I couldn’t.
We both looked at each other until I sighed on the inside and looked away.
I’m so sorry Samuel.
I gathered all the strength I have and got up from the chair, I grabbed my bag and walked out of the class.
As my legs pounced on the cemented floor and hurried through the building corridor, I heard my name being called.
I didn’t bother turning back cause I know who it was already.
Immediately I got out of the building, someone pulled my hand spun me around.
Samuel.
Of course, who else could it be.
“What do you want?” I shrugged. Sounding as calm as ever.
“What do I want?” Samuel scoffed not letting go of me.
“Yeah. We broke up… Remember!” I stated regretting every word as it left my mouth.
“broke up? No… No you broke up with me. But I never broke up with you.” Samuel replied.
What?
“Look that doesn’t even make any sense… We’re over okay…” I said pulling my hand out of his grip, but he held me again.
Who knew he was this stubborn.
“We’re not over, not until I know the accurate reasons, I’ve never been in a relationship before but I know you can’t just break up with someone without any reasons!” Samuel stated.
“I gave you enough reasons yesterday Sam…” I pinned.
“Yeah enough fake reasons, I know you didn’t mean anything you said!”
“I did” I replied.
“You didn’t!” Samuel yelled.
I sighed. “Just let go and let’s just move on with our lives”.
“You expect me to move on without actually knowing why you broke up with me?” Samuel said, and you can clearly see pain In his eyes. (this story is written by Ruthie lee.
I watched his eyes for a moment.
“That was the only reason.” I replied with my shaky voice.
“It wasn’t, please just tell me what’s wrong… Please Bridget”. Samuel said posing straight.
He is giving me every reason and opportunity to tell, why our relationship is ending but I keep flaking out.
I’m scared to death.
What Will his reaction be. Telling him about that side of me.
I wanted to open my mouth and breath out the words, the sentences that has been killing me, the barrier in between samuel and I’s relationship, But I couldn’t find my voice.
Just tell him. My perky subconscious reminded me.
I am telling him, but not with my voice, Anxiety is killing me and it’s clogging to my throat.
“Sorry!” was the only thing that left my mouth.
“Sorry? What exactly are you sorry for?” Samuel asked.
Why did I even have to say sorry.
“Just… Let’s just break up!” I sighed.
“But why? I won’t let it, until you tell me why.” Samuel stated.
People who were passing by were starting to glance and talk about us, but Samuel looked like he could care less.
“Can’t I just keep my reasons to myself?” I stated angrily snatching my hand from his grip for the second time.
“Why would you… Samuel looked so confused.
“We all have reasons for keeping reasons.” I stated not looking at him but at the floor.
“So we’re just going to cut out of each other’s life like nothing’s happened?” Samuel yelled.
I was keeping my voice down. “No… I’m not saying we’re cutting out of each other’s life but we’re just terminating the deep relationship between us, we can just be like the way we used to!” I mumbled.
“Hell no! I can’t stay friends with you!” Samuel stated bitterly and walked away angrily.
I’ve never seen him angry like this before.
My eyes gathered all the water it could find and my lips quivered as I watch Samuel go.
How am I so cruel.
The rest of the day ended with me not attending anymore classes but actually crying my eyes out in bed. I feel so hurt for hurting myself and Samuel.
But it’s actually worse than me imagining myself telling Samuel about all what I used to do.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Tochi asked.
The night was old and I haven’t had anything since I came back from class.
“No I’m not hungry” I stated.
I truly wasn’t.
“Oh… Okay” Tochi said. She looked like she wanted to say more but she just kept quiet and went back to her bed.
I sighed and glanced at the time, it was five minutes past ten.
I sniffed as I felt that tingly feeling under my abdomen. I had to pee but I was too tired and lazy to stand up.
The night went by with me thinking about Samuel today, he was just so angry.
I fell alseep with no intention of going to class the next day.
The next day came and I found myself getting ready for class, I didn’t have enough energy for class, I was so tired, I could barely carry my bag. I could have stayed home if u wanted to, but the thought of seeing Samuel for a second excited me.
I was being selfish and I know it, I was punishing myself and I know it, but still the thought of seeing him gave me a little bit of strength and I found myself going to class.
I spot Samuel at the front like always and was Glad he made it early to class unlink yesterday. I sat at the back and just watched him be.
Immediately class was over, I left. I didn’t want any commotion and I didn’t want to recall how angry Samuel looked yesterday.
As I made it past the corridor of the first flour of block four. A door opened by the walls and a familiar voice stopped me from moving.
“Miss clements” the voice made me shriek.
I snapped my head as Mr. Vincent who stood in front of his office resting the left side of his body on the door frame.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Oh nothing, and that is no way to talk to your lecturer be warned.” he grimaced.
Stupid.
“Okay…” I shrugged. I was about to walk away but stopped when he Called me.
“What do you want with me?” I asked angrily.
“You know Mr. Tony left you all projects with me and I just went through it all and found a typo in your group’s project” He stated.
I scoffed. “stop lying, I cross checked the project, everything was perfect.”
“if you think I’m lying come inside and see for yourself, you know the semester is coming to an end soon right, you can’t let a typo get in your way” Mr. Vincent smirk made me sigh.
“Fine” I stated.
Mr. Vincent moved back and walked into his office while I followed.
“Close the door” he told me as I walked in.
“Do you think I’m stupid?” I replied “I’m just allowing you to do as you please because you’re a lecturer here, don’t get all dominant” I stated angrily.
He smiled.
“What are you scared of? I have every right to be dominant, and you don’t see me taking advantage of that? Your head is elsewhere young lady.” he shook his head.
“Look just show me the stupid typo and let’s get over all the trash” I stated.
“Okay then… To be honest I didn’t call you in here for the ty–
I was already leaving before he could finish his sentence, but he caught my hand just as my leg was almost stepping outside.
“Let go of me” I barked.
“stop being so fiesty!” Mr. Vincent stated angrily slamming me to the wall. His male strength overpowering mine as I tried to push him away.
“Get away from–
He kssed me forcefully as I tried to push him and grabbed my hand that almost gave him a slap.
I pushed my head back and spat on his face.
“That’s actually turning me on, you can spit on my face as you please.” he smirked.
Bastard.!
His hands went to the hem of my dress he stroke the hand up my thigh. I was going to scream.
I was about screaming when a familiar voice called from the door.
“Bridget???”
Mr. Vincent paused and he seemed shocked which gave me an opportunity to walk out of his wall cage and walk up to Kingsley at the open door with tears in my eyes.
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