Whispers of judgement.
The winds howl into the night, but I am unafraid. I am stronger than anything this world has to offer. She gives me strength… and hope.
I lean against a tree, robbed of all my energy. Breaths are a triviality to my kind, but I need them… to keep my identity. To exist rather than to fade away into the endless mist.
There is no blood here. There is no tears or anger, no happiness or laughter. We are only shells, but we still have the hope of life. She must come soon, or I will crumble to the emptiness of this world.
I know she will send me on the path to deliverance.
My eyes flutter, and I awake to the roar of the wind. I wonder why I am not shivering, and then quickly recognize the warmth of the man right beside me. It feels so nice here. I could stay here… forever…
I want to say that I’m sorry, but I can’t form the words.
I want to say that you don’t have to do this, but I can’t form the words.
Because I’m losing myself and everything I value. I can’t feel or breathe, completely stagnant in a static world. Feelings are a dull ache, and actions are beyond my means. I can’t form much of anything that mirrors what I would call myself. Does self even exist anymore? I would like to say yes, but I still can’t form the words.
Save me, please. Although I can’t beg.
I jerk upwards, my chest heaving. Even though the air bites with a hint of frost, my arms and head glisten with sweat. The whispers are caving in on me.
Xavier lies beside me, still sleeping. His shirt rests against the tree, and I carefully pick it up and drape it over him. He must have been really tired, because he’s not usually such a heavy sleeper.
I stand up quickly, trying to rid my head of all the madness swirling around inside it. I… know what I saw, but I’m not sure that I want to admit it to myself. So I’ll just call it lunacy. Insanity. Nothing that has anything to do with me.
I bend back down, staring at Xavier’s peaceful resting face. My hand reaches out and brushes the hair away from his eyes, and for a minute I believe that I can forget everything once again.
Don’t forget who you are, Mona.
I shook, standing back up quickly and pacing around the small clearing. Why am I having these dreams? I saw Shifters, nearly dead, pleading… to me for help. Are these real, or my own illusions? What should I do about them?
I turn my head to see a glint of metal hidden at the base of a thick shrub. Walking over, I dig around in the leaves to find a crown with a pulsating, ruby red crystal at the top of it. I pick it up, feeling the weight and texture only to find that this is… the same crown.
Where did I even leave it to begin with? I know I was holding it in the core of the castle, but I don’t remember anything after that. One thing is for sure, I certainly didn’t put it here.
I hold it awkwardly while looking around the area, half expecting to see Ray hiding in the background. Who is orchestrating this? Everything just seems to fit together, just like my earlier dreams of Ray and the castle, and in real life things don’t work out that way.
For you, it does.
The crown brings with it the burden of responsibility like a tidal wave over my heart. As I look at Xavier, at all these happy, priceless moments we made last night and the many days before, it reminds me that I’m only tying more string to him and the others that will have to be cut. I don’t doubt that these moments are special, that they matter to me and to us, but they will just make things harder in the end. I know that it already is.
I have to love him enough so that I can let him go. The Shifters need to be saved, and potentially the human race as well. The werewolves won’t have to kill Shifters in order to feel useful anymore. From what Ray said, the werewolves may cease to exist as I know them. I’m not sure that I know that means, but even so all I am left with is the urgency and inevitability of my mission.
Do I need to say goodbye?
No. I can’t.
It… will only make things harder.
I whirl around and bend down to drop a gentle kiss on Xavier’s forehead. “Sleep tight, Xavier,” I say, standing up quickly and hugging the crown to my chest. The whispers are pounding, imploring, begging me to make a change. My heart constricts, because I know that I cannot leave an entire species at risk due to any of my own selfish desires. Because in my heart, I cannot truly believe that Shifters are ev!l and don’t deserve salvation. And who am I to rob them of that?
Please. Come soon.
I start running at a breakneck speed, weaving through the trees without knowing quite where I’m going. Allowing the whispers to guide my thoughts, I keep moving, endlessly, making the decision to accept my fate. Occasionally it seems like a red eye appears to my right, almost as if a trick of the light. It seems as if the Shifters are guiding me towards my own destiny. They always have, I suppose. The tragedy that ended my parents’ lives has propelled me to fight, both against and for the Shifters.
The castle turrets soon appear to the left of the trees and I automatically steer towards it. Even though I have no idea on how to navigate through the castle, I have no doubt that I will get there. I reach the gates and they eerily begin to open. I don’t even stop to look, my conscience not allowing me to wait.
The door to the castle is similarly left ajar. After a few minutes of going through doors and weaving through darkly lit corridors, I reach a hallway that I recognize. With thick carpet and elaborate door handles, I knew this was the entrance to the core.
Meet your future.
Knowing that it’s too late to go back, I swing the door open to reveal the dark space I had been envisioning since the previous night. The anticipation releases, and I stare around the room blankly, not knowing where to start.
There are no illusions of grandeur. This is it, with the plain, dark room and the eternal darkness below. Is it supposed to end like this?
I walk over to the middle of the ledge, not sure where the edges blurred into the void. The silence is unnerving as I finger the crown in my hands. Should I just throw it over so I don’t risk falling myself? That would probably be the least heroic thing to do.
Now that I’ve finally decided to be a hero, the question is how this will go down in God’s scrapbook or wherever this will be written down. Should I pose for a minute, or fight the evil dragon who appears out of nowhere? I’m not used to this kind of life.
I almost wish the influence of the whispers were back and as strong as they were, because I could really use their help.
I start walking to the ledge, when I start to hear footsteps pounding down the hallway. My heart rate accelerates wildly as a figure begins to come into view. I can barely see it, but I would recognize his frenzied breaths everywhere.
I would have probably picked the dragon over this.
Tears unwillingly come to my eyes as the figure runs to me, his hand immediately grabbing my shoulder. “Xavier… didn’t expect to see you here,” I say softly, kicking myself for assuming he wouldn’t be able to follow me.
“What’s going on?” He asks, tightening his grip. “I’m tired of you and Ray not telling me everything. First he acts strange, and then you. What’s so special about this room?”
I begin to break down under his urgent stare. I’m tired of trying to keep things from him, because he deserves to have the truth, even if it hurts. “It’s the prophecy, Xavier. This is all the prophecy. I’m about to fulfill it.”
He just stares at me wonderingly. “So… this is the red stone?” He motions to the crown. “Is this what you were trying to do yesterday?”
“Yes. Ray is part of the prophecy too, Xavier… everything fits. The fight on the beach, Ray being taken hostage… everything. And all the dreams I had of this world, they were all leading me to this very point.”
“So Ray is the one that we… lost in the group? But we found him again!” He says, trying to figure out the complexity of the situation. His eyes search mine, and his hands reach to finger the crown in my hand. “Whose is this?” Xavier asks softly, “was it just sitting here, or…”
“It’s Ray’s. He isn’t what you think he is. And neither are the enemies that you hate and kill. The Shifters… are souls. Dying, polluted souls.”
“But that makes no sense.” His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “In order for the red stone to be his, that would make him… the red wolf? Who else could be in possession of such an important object?” I just nod at him, and he almost jumps ten feet backwards. “How? I’ve known him for my entire life. And I’m pretty sure Shifters are ev!l.”
“He is still Ray. Believe me. He’s just… slightly different. And a lot older than you think he is. But I have to destroy this jewel and crown in order to fulfill the prophecy, and Ray said that it must be thrown into the chasm of eternal darkness that surrounds us. The Shifters aren’t all bad either. You’ve seen the ones hidden within the forest.”
Xavier surveys our surroundings, his gaze cold and calculating. “So, what happens to us? You throw it in, the red stone is destroyed…”
“Well, the Shifters will be able to move on to judgement. Werewolves will cease to exist as we know it. I’m still not sure what that means.” Xavier’s face crinkles up as I mention the fated words, and his hands leave the crown to wrap around my body.
“Are you saying that you were basically going to leave me forever without giving me a chance to say goodbye? After everything I told you last night?” He asks fervently, his breath impossibly close to my ear. I find myself shaking with the threat of indecision.
“I knew it would… make it harder, Xavier. I knew I couldn’t leave you if I did it. And even now, I just want to stay with you forever. But the human race is hanging in the balance, along with the hope of salvation for the passing souls. It’s… bigger than just us…”
He tightens his arms until I can barely breathe. “I understand,” he whispers softly into my hair, “You wouldn’t be you if you avoided this forever. You have a strong sense of justice and I love that about you.”
I smile and he ksses the top of my head slowly. His hands rub down the sides of my waist, and I revel once more in his warmth. For the last time I guess. “I’m hoping, Xavier… that there may be happiness for the two of us.”
“Oh, I know that this is not truly goodbye. We have each other in our hearts, and will never be alone. I will always have your lovely face to remind me of the peace in my heart.” Xavier leans his head against mine and then releases me, stepping back. I blush, smiling at the weight of his words and the beautiful warmth that comes with it.
“So it’s okay, Xavier? I’m sorry about hiding things from you. I just didn’t want you to know… that I was going to end it.”
“But I always knew, Mona. Don’t forget, I knew you were the chosen one for a very long time. And I can put two and two together. Now, I don’t know what the Shifters have done and exactly what they are, but I do think that you are righteous and will give them whatever identity and salvation they deserve.” He smiles at me for what seems to be the last time, dampened by the inevitability of our futures. “But you need to do it, quickly. I think that some Shifters are coming back, because I’m starting to hear noises.”
It’s true. The whispers are swirling around again, twisting into howls and whimpers. These are not the sounds of begging, weak Shifters but power-hungry monsters. And the sounds seem to be getting closer and closer, accompanied by another pair of footsteps into the darkness of the room. “Mona?” Ray’s unmistakable voice calls out, echoing against the unfathomable walls. As he comes close to where we are, I can make out his face, torn with exhaustion and fear. “Oh, Xavier, I should have known you were here too. Look, you have a few seconds, maybe less. I know you’re here for a reason. Don’t let anything take away from that. You have the power to save, but the window of time is quickly closing upon us all. I’ll try to hold them back, but…”
“Them?” Xavier asks, his voice cracking in the growing intensity of the howling.
“The council members, those who wish to stay in power and keep the status quo. They mean to trap you here. They led you in, and now they are going to suck your emotions and feelings for each other until there’s nothing left. Turns out, Shifters don’t actually keep prisoners in dungeons. Sorry about that little lie, Xavier.”
“Seems like you’ve been keeping a lot hidden from me, Brother,” Xavier says loudly. “Why don’t you show me your true self? There’s no reason to hide anymore.”
The two stare at each other, the rest of the world completely forgotten. The escalating tension starts to fade away as Ray sighs, dropping his shoulders and argumentative stance. He also knows that Xavier deserves the truth.
“You’re right.” Ray starts to morph, his edges twisting and fading, only to reveal seconds later a similar outline with slightly different yet significant facial features. “It’s hard to show my true self, though, when the only thing true to me is my eyes of blood.”
Xavier seems frozen for a second, and then frowns. “It’s true then. Are you a Shifter, or a werewolf?”
“Both, it seems. But I’m pretty sure I need judgement more than anyone else in this world and the next. We’ve all played into Fate’s hands, but our own wills and desires dictate our own identities, and no one can rob us of that if you save us. I’m probably supposed to fight you right now, but I don’t wish to live in such a stagnant world, chained to a role where I have to watch countless souls die to the outside world. I almost forgot about it, though, when I was with you. Thank you, Mona and Xavier, for giving me the opportunity to have a life worth living.” Ray grins widely, his expression tinged with hopeless insanity. “Please don’t hate me too much. I really like you guys, you know. In fact, I’ll take care of these guys for you.”
Shifters burst in the doors like a dark, stormy cloud, taking over the darkness and plunging it into an even deeper, chaotic madness. I can only watch as Ray starts to morph with the movement of the ever changing cloud, eyes like fire burning into his victims. But the mass of Shifters seems to converge upon him, almost swallowing him at the base of the ledge. “It’s not over! I’m fine, but you need to go now!” We hear the faint yell echoing around the room, spurring us into action.
I race over to the edge of the ledge, or what it appeared to be like, and cautiously looked into the eternal blackness. Xavier holds my arm, as if afraid of my movement. “It’s okay, Xavier. It has to be now,” I whisper.
“But… I love you. I haven’t said it enough yet. And we haven’t grown old together, if you could even call it that. And I haven’t said half of the things that I wanted to say about you, and we haven’t bickered over whose taking the last of the cereal, and…” He pauses as the tears start to flow from my eyes, drenching my face and his chest in sorrow as he pulls me to him.
“We will. I promise.” I smile weakly, glancing over at the dark cloud as it starts to separate into individual beings heading in all directions. “I just need to take care of some things first.” A small, sharp spear forms in my hand, and I offer it to him. “Take this, and protect yourself. I’m going now.”
“Going?” He grabs the spear, looking at the looming Shifters and pointing it at them. “You’re staying right with me.”
“Not today,” I whisper, looking into the chasm and knowing that more Shifters already had flown into them, hoping for a chance to grab the crown. I can’t let go of it, because Shifters can grab physical items in this world. Which can mean only one thing.
I will save you, not just for you, but so I will never lose any idea of what I know myself to be.
I back away, and then launch myself in a run towards the chasm. “Mona!” Xavier yells urgently, but I am a perpetual, moving force, curving around the singular object so that nothing can get to it without getting through me. The last thing I see as I fall into the darkness is Xavier running after me while batting away a frenzied Shifter. His expression falls as he realizes he can’t catch up, and the Shifter pounces on him as if he were a wounded animal.
I’m not sure I wanted a heroic ending quite like this, but I am still unafraid. No one can hurt me now and no one can take this role away from me. Even if I die, I am bringing life to the world and beyond. Besides, if Xavier isn’t with me, what would be left in the end?
Come home. Be free.
I smile as I fall into a darkness so deep that it erases everything, the crown finally falling from my hands into the unreachable, my eyes closing softly as a comforting force embraces my body, carrying me to eternal deliverance.
Click 7 below to continue reading
