BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 41 – 50
EPISODE 48
(Alyssa)
“I know what Lou-Lou did, Jackson. I read your text messages after I found my purse that night.
I know you were disgusted with yourself for watching it and I know you’re sorry.”
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it…and I never once asked or told you to not watch the video. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He shakes his head. “No. I was wrong. I told you I wouldn’t watch it and I did.”
“I forgive you.”
“You shouldn’t,” he says gruffly.
We stay silent after that. I decide to sit on top of the pool table and watch him throw more darts, hoping he’ll continue talking to me.
“I hate that his hands were on you, touching your body. Touching what I thought was mine,” he finally says.
He throws the dart so hard I think the board’s going to come off the wall.
“I didn’t want his hands on me.”
He snorts. “It didn’t look like it from where I was standing. And it certainly didn’t sound like you didn’t want his hands on you when you told him you loved him.” I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off. “Don’t,” he warns. “Because I swear to god, if I hear you say his name again…I’ll lose it, Alyssa.”
I stay silent. I want to shout everything about my relationship with Ford at the top of my lungs, but I don’t want him to walk away from me. Especially now that he’s finally talking to me.
I desperately want him to give me another chance…because this time around, it won’t be tarnished by my past or lies.
I feel like I can actually let myself fall in love with Jackson. I can love him the way he deserves to be loved.
He throws another dart, and another, and another. Until he’s firing them all at the board like a round of buIIets. “I hate that I still want you. Especially when I should know better.”
My heart drops with those words.
Then he turns around and the look he gives me, makes the entire world stop. I hold my breath but he steals it from me when his lips land on mine.
The kss is saturated with need, longing and desire. His to ngue probes every inch of my mouth, his teeth crash against mine, and his hands touch my body like it’s his possession.
My back h its the surface of the pool table and I mo an when I feel Jackson move on top of me. I wrap my legs around his waist and grab onto his shoulders. “My apartment’s upstairs,” I pant.
Jackson doesn’t waste another second, he picks me up and we make our way up the staircase.
He slams me against the door to my apartment and his teeth nip at my neck while his hands dig into my as s. “Hope you have another t-shirt,” he growls.
I’m about to ask why, but I soon find out when he shreds the material right down the middle and buries himself between my bbs.
“I need these perfect t its in my mouth,” he rasps as he yanks down the cups of my b ra and pulls my tips into his mouth. He lavishes it with his to ngue, handling them like they are his favorite things in the entire world.
I whimper when he pauses. But then he moves on to my other bb and pays it the same attention. Bolts of pleasure jolt me when he reaches down and pops open the bu tton on my p ants.
He’s sliding them down when he stops abruptly and bangs on the wall beside my head. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” I ask, still in my delirious fog. He puts me down. “I can’t do this to you.”
I don’t understand how one second he’s tearing my clothes off and the next he’s walking away. He quickly backs up. “I need to leave.”
“Why? I thought…I thought that we were—” I pause because I realize that maybe I misconstrued the situation entirely and this wasn’t what I hoped it was after all.
“I thought we were trying again,” I say.
He gives me the coldest look I’ve ever seen. “Well, you thought wrong. I’ll stay out of your life for good from now on. I promise.”
What the h’ll is going on with him? None of this makes any sense.
He heads for the exit stairs but I stop him. “No. I don’t want you out of my life. I want you, Jackson. Talk to me, don’t run away.”
“Yeah, because you know all about that. Don’t you?” he scoffs.
I want to pun¢h him for being so callous right now. With the exception of his drunken episode. He’s never been this cruel to me without reason. “Yeah I do. So, take it from me when I tell you that it will only make things worse.”
He begins walking down the stairs and I’m right behind him. “I know you. Something is—” I start to say before he cuts me off.
“You don’t know me, Alyssa. Trust me.”
And with those words he walks away.
BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 41 – 50
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