She’s divorce doesn’t mean she was a bad wife, some men are not just husband, but a bully.

Before discussing why a woman should divorce her bully husband, read this story below:

My once upon a time gentle and loving fiancé has become a bully husband.

I didn’t see this coming at all. He beats me, spits on me, treats me like a slave and ra.pes me.

It all began shortly after we got married when my husband refused to help me with a mortgage I took while in university. My parents were okay paying my school fees. So, I thought using the student’s loan to get on the property ladder was a fantastic opportunity.

My husband was aware of my struggle to meet up with the monthly fee because of my lack of income but surprisingly refused to help unless I add him as a joint owner. I was happy to do this but guess what – he refused to help pay the fees despite my pleas. He had the money and he could afford it but he chose not to.

The house was finally repossessed. I was so disappointed and pained by his action but I managed to control myself after a few outburst.

That was years ago but that incident changed him. He is now like a man possessed.

I was advised to report him to the police but I can’t because I love him and I know that things will spiral out of control if I do. And again, my faith forbids me from divorce.

Marriages are breaking in high proportion these days and I don’t want mine to be added to the statistics.

I am enduring it and I am determined to keep my marriage and win my man back. But how do I do it?

1. We only courted for 2 years. Would I have discovered everything about him if we had courted for a longer period?

2. Does God tell us who to marry or is it entirely up to us?

3. Can a person who marry God’s choice – the bone of his/her bone struggle in marriage?

4. How can someone in an abusive relationship cope or is divorce and separation the only options?

Some women are right in the same situation like this woman.

Wife beating? No way. Better to tell your children where you are than where you were buried. For property, let him enjoy it. Time takes care of so many things.

The relationship is not an expression of true love from both sides. I can see that the lady is the one in love.

She needs to pray for the salvation of her husband but she should be careful not to loose her life.

So many women her managing life threatening sicknesses today because of marital abuse and when she passes on, within few months, another damsel will replace her.

I am against marital abuse and I am against gradual process killing of women.

God does not love divorce netheir does he want the death of a sinner. Staying in an unhealthy relationship is like willingly ready to commit suicide; he that wants to die have met the one that will kill her.

In relationship there should be space for healing and forgiveness, yet how does a person battered almost everyday heal if she does not move for spiritual and emotional upliftment of her body and soul. Please how do they pray in the midst of chaos?

God loves you and does not want you to die young, please everyone should remember that.

Does God tell us who to marry or is it entirely up to us?

Christians have different views to this question. Some say YES God will tell you who to marry whiles others will DISAGREE (NO).

In my own view, God will never MAKE a decision for any man (other wise He will just force everybody to serve Him) whether in marriage or any other issue.

But this does not mean that God should be discarded in our choice of a marriage partner.

What God does is He INFLUENCES our decision by telling us what to do, how to go about it etc. God has clearly stated in His word the kind of man or woman a Christian should marry but you still need Him to be SPECIFIC why because of COMPATIBILITY.

All Christians are good but there is a specific one that would suit you. Compatibility is a very important factor in relationship and marriage.

God is the one that created you and He is the only one that knows the man/woman that’ll be suitable for you and so finding a wife/husband outside God(who created and knows your compatible partner) is a big risk that is not worth taking at all.

We must trust God in this and allow Him to direct and guide us.

In conclusion, if your husband beats you always, you need to think twice and RUN away from him first before thinking about DIVORCE, because you can die during or after beating you.

A man that beats his wife doesn’t love her. And he has disobeyed God that commanded that the husband should love his wife.

SEE ALSO :  Man Narrates Shocking Story on What His Wife And Her Mum Are Doing Together

WHY YOU SHOULD DIVORCE A BULLY HUSBAND

The post WHY YOU SHOULD DIVORCE A BULLY HUSBAND appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

A DIVORCED SINGLE MOTHER SHARED A TRUE LIFE STORY:

I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it’s good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.

I am 32 years of age.

My ex husband and I dated for 6 years.

We where best of friends.

I waited until he completed college and started work.

My family and his family then met.

We got married and had a son. (7 years old now).

My husband was short tempered at times but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn’t control me.

Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain.

My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him.

If he was controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished, he could divorce me.

I never wanted divorce.

I just had pride and I never wanted to look like a loose woman in his eyes.

One day I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside.

I went to my family, my family took him to the police, every time I looked like I was being abused!

But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.

He was arrested and detained.

I was asked by his family to withdraw the case.

I felt that what I was doing was wrong.

My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall of which he openly knelt down and apologized.

I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled.

After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue and he remained alone.

After two days, I received a call that he was in the hospital.

My family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it would look like I was begging him and my sisters believed he was feigning the illness.

All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused.

He spent a week in the hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summon.

I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me.

I called him and said he would get the divorce because I lived like I was in he.ll.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared.

To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.

We were divorced in 2009 July.

Now, my husband is married, whilst l am here wasted!

My family members are gossiping about me.

I depend on what my ex husband gives to my son for survival.

I know I wasted my marriage.

I am here telling all wives that they should be careful how they get advise.

Don’t be cheated, don’t entertain family interference in your marriage my dear reader.

Even my young sisters are much more respected than me.

Those who encouraged me to get divorced are always teasing and bad mouthing me.

Please ladies, be vigilant in your marriage.

Thought it wise to share my story to save your marriage.

There is no benefit in pride for nothing.

ALSO READ : THE DEATH OF HER HUSBAND SAVED MY MARRIAGE

SOMETIMES IT’S NOT THE MAN’S FAULT AT ALL, IT’S YOUR PRIDE, AND THE PEOPLE YOU ALLOWED TO ADVISE YOU, SO BE WISE AND VIGILANT IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

The post HOW MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS RUINED MY MARRIAGE appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine.

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.”

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?” He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”

My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions.

The post My Wife’s Salary Was a Mystery Until I discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

– They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them errands, she will stop them

– I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me.

Read his story below:

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go.

No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to make things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself. At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down, because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me.

My youngest daughter refused to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual. For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should make things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me, they have becoming out of control … I can’t correct them, it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sort out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keep me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up …

***********

You need to inolve your in laws and her spiritual leaders to help talk sense to her.

I also think you are lacking in some of your responsibilities. Your children won’t be behaving like you have said to you, if you are the one feeding them and paying their bills, no matter what your wife have told them. You need to get the grip of your family.

Thingscouplesdo

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– My mother didn’t particularly like the idea of her coming living with me in my matrimonial home.

– To my surprise she told me not to worry about my husband that he wouldn’t mind.

Read her story below:

I am in a very hot soup and what is happening to me appears to be like a story from a movie. I am still hoping to wake up from this nightmare. I have gone to several places to seek help including a radio programme, but my problem persists. And with each day, it becomes more complex and too confusing for me to handle.

I don’t know where to start or how to solve this problem facing me in my marriage. My husband impregnated my sister. After her Youth Service, she requested to come over to Lagos to stay with me. My mother didn’t particularly like the idea of her coming living with me in my matrimonial home, but being my sister and one I like very much, I overruled my mother.

It didn’t end my mother’s concern as she kept calling my sister to behave herself without causing troubles for me in my marriage. Curious to know why mother was always cautioning her against causing problems for me, she just laughed over the matter and dismissed mother as being paranoid. Since I didn’t really grow with them, I have lived all my life in boarding schools outside the country. I know very little

I honestly didn’t have any reason to suspect she was having an affair with my husband until I noticed she was pregnant. Not that she told me about her pregnancy, I chanced on her antenatal card and asked if she was pregnant. She told me yes and when I asked her who the man was since I noticed she had one or two men always around her. She told me the owner of the pregnancy is someone I know and who I would approve of.

Bothered that my husband may not like the situation of her staying in his house with a pregnancy. I told my sister to hasten the process of bringing the man home to meet my husband to avoid problems for me in my own home.

To my surprise she told me not to worry about my husband that he wouldn’t mind, because the owner of the pregnancy is like a twin brother to him. Her attitude was at that point beginning to irritate me so I decided to inform my husband myself about the development. I had expected him to be enraged with anger, but he instead broke down in tears begging me to forgive him. That my sister practically despoiled him on one of those Saturdays I went out.

He said he has been begging her to abort the child when she came to inform him of the pregnancy but my sister says she cannot afford to go through an abortion again. According to him he has done everything to erase the incident but my sister appears determined to hurt me for a reason he doesn’t understand. To demonstrate his helplessness, he even went to the extent of buying her a ticket to travel abroad to save me the pains of knowing that she is carrying his baby.

As if wasn’t enough shock for me, when I confronted my sister, she told me its her turn to pay me back for having everything she has always desired as a child. She said whereas, our parents made her stay in Nigeria, I was given the opportunity to school abroad. For the first time I experienced real hatred from the eyes of the person I love with all my heart.

My parents especially my mother is devastated by what my sister has done. She is currently on admission for high blood pressure. My father and the rest of the family have disowned my sister just as my in-laws too have also disowned the pregnancy. My husband is sending everybody to beg me to forgive him, but my sister remains adamant despite pressures from everyone that she terminates the pregnancy.

I have always trusted my husband and know that he would not deliberately do anything to hurt me, but how can I share him with my sister or explain to my children that their cousin is actually their father’s child? All his friends are also united in my favour. He went as far as getting his managing director to come and beg me to forgive him. I am really confused. I have known my husband for over 18 years and never has he once betrayed me even when he had all the excuses to.

The post “My husband impregnated my sister” appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

-Bringing her into my home is a huge slap on my womanhood.

-Now the problem is she can’t leave as Abuja is locked down.

-Lockdown wahala, what should she do?

Read her story below:

I am at the point of committing murder because I have never been this angry. In this locked down my husband brought his girlfriend into our home without my knowledge.

The babe came prepared. We have a two bedroom flat in our basement. Is a kind of guest chalet that my husband always use when he is doing research,writing books and reading for professional exams. Sometimes when we have visitors that comes in from outside the country they stay there, the place is like a guest house well furnished to taste with all the kitchen utensils.

So this babe and my husband planned to come and stay in the basement. She bought food stuffs, brought her clothing and she came in when no one could see her and checked into the guest chalet. I noticed my husband spent so much time in the basement all in the name of writing his book that he needs quiet time away from the kids. I didn’t suspect anything until now.

I just finished cooking and I decided to take the food to surprised him there. As I gained access to the flat, I started perceiving smell of food. Lo and behold I met my husband and his babe n@ked and asleep having eaten food cooked by her in the living room. I went round the house and saw her clothings, shoes, toiletries in the bedroom. I screamed and the both rushed into the bedroom and met me. I bounced on him and started beating him. They were both n@ked. I feel so hurt and betrayed. Bringing her into my home is a huge slap on my womanhood.

Now the problem is she can’t leave as Abuja is locked down. How can I handle this? Will she stay here for 14 days? I feel like killing the both of them now. My husband said the babe is pregnant and insisted she can’t stay alone during the lock down so they both decided she come and stay in the guest chalet.

Someone should tell me what to do before I kill the two of them.

The post My husband brought his babe home during this lockdown appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

– I involved a friend of mine, Mike, and we both went there and hid inside a tricycle waiting…

Read the story below:

A 39-year old housewife, Mrs. Nkechi Agbor, has been arrested by detectives attached to Area C Police Command, Lekki, Lagos for allegedly hiring assassins to eliminate her millionaire husband, Godstime, in order to inherit his property.

The incident happened at Badore Estate, Lekki area of Lagos, where they reside.

Mrs. Nkechi landed in the mess after she discovered that her husband was rich, had properties and she started planning on how to inherit them. The mother of two felt her only option was to eliminate her husband and she reportedly paid assassins the sum of N500,000 in order to kill her husband.

However, it leaked after one of the hired assassins, Festus Onyebuchi, was apprehended and he named her as the person who contracted him to kill her husband. The suspect, Festus, was arrested while trying to break into Mr. Godstime Agbor’s apartment at Badore Estate to not only kill him but also to steal from the house before he was caught in the act.

During investigation, it was discovered that one of those who she hired for the botched assassination was an electrician, simply identified as Chibuzor, who usually worked for Mr. Godstime Agbor.
Festus in his confession said he was contracted by Mrs. Nkechi to kill her husband with the agreement to pay him 500,000 Naira.

“I involved a friend of mine, Mike, and we both went there and hid inside a tricycle waiting for Mr. Godstime, who we were told always opens the gate himself whenever he gets back from work. But on that day, it was his daughter that opened the gate. We went back the next day, it was still his daughter that opened the gate again.”
“On the third day, it was Mr. Godstime that opened the gate and the plan was to rush to stab him in the neck, heart side of the chest and rib.
Mike, who was supposed to kill him, went to urinate and by the time he got back, Mr. Godstime had gone inside and shut the gate. So, out of frustration we went back home.”
“Thereafter, I decided to go to Mr. Godstime’s house alone to steal instead. As i jumped into his compound through the fence, somebody raised alarm which attracted members of a vigilante group in the area, who apprehended me.”
“I regret my actions and i hope i will be given a second chance” he said.

Mrs. Nkechi has reportedly confessed to sending hired assassin to eliminate her husband and her reason was to inherit her husband’s properties.
Police sources said that Nkechi and the other suspects will be charged to Court after the conclusion of investigations.

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– I made a big mistake and I admitted it to him.

– To make matters worse, he went and told my parents what happened and my father cursed me.

Read her story below:

I am 25 years old, and I am having a problem. I have been going with a guy since I was 18. He was the first man for me. He took my virg_inity. He became a part of my family. Everybody in my family loves him. He is a very helpful man. He has a fairly good education. He treats me well.

When I was going to college, he gave me all the support I needed. We have one child together. We got engaged two years ago. I made a big mistake and I admitted it to him. Now he is telling me that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. I did something I never thought I would do. The company I work with organised a retreat, and I had to attend. It was just from Friday to Sunday.

One of the guys at my workplace, who likes me and I like him too, attended the seminar. Satan got into my head. This guy and I went out, and we had too much to drink. I wasn’t drunk. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn’t resist this guy. At work, I have ignored him. He has a way of sending roses for me, but I always remind him that I have a man.

I am in such trouble now because as soon as I got back, my fiancé heard that I went out with this guy. All he kept asking me was “did you have se_x with him?”, and finally I said: “Yes, but it wasn’t for long.”

He said: “All right, I am not going to hit you, but we have to part.” I have never gone on my knees to beg a man, but I went down on my knees for him to forgive me and to give me another chance, but he wouldn’t.

To make matters worse, he went and told my parents what happened and my father cursed me. My mother begged him to forgive me, but my father said that he should leave me and let the man I had se_x with take care of me.

THIS man gave me a beautiful diamond engagement ring. He told me that I can keep everything that he has given me except the engagement ring. He wants it back. I asked him what would he do with it and he said he will keep it, but I should not wear it.

This ring means so much to me. I still love this man. He doesn’t believe that, but I do. What can you do for me? I find myself unable to sleep. I just can’t stop crying.

The post Why I Lost The Chance to Marry This Lovely Man appeared first on ThingsCouplesDo.

-He brought the children to me, I fell so much in love with them.

-I’m not longer in school and that I now have a child because they keep sending me money every month

Read her story below:

I met my child’s father 3 years ago. We met on my 21st birthday. I went out to the nightclub to celebrate my birthday and I met this handsome 32 years old. He couldn’t stop staring at me until he approached me and introduced himself and we exchanged numbers.

He called me the next day, we chatted for about an hour and he told me he was married. He has two kids but they now are separated. In the process of divorce but they are still living together, separate bedrooms while he is waiting for the house he is building to finish so he can move out.

I was jealous and angry at him. I told him he is lying to me, they are still together and still fv.cking he just want to use me then dump me but he promised me that there was nothing between him and the wife, and that they had stop having s*x when she was pregnant with the second baby and the baby was now 8 months and he has proof that there was nothing between them.

We were meeting at my place and staying together until 2-3am. Sometimes he doesn’t go back until the next day and on those days that we don’t meet, we chatted on the phone until late 1-2am while he was still in the house so I was happy that there’s nothing between them.

He brought the children to me, I fell so much in love with them and will be spending the day with them and it felt great to bond with them.

Then later I got pregnant, he told me to ab0rt it because they are in the process of divorce. If the court finds out he impregnated someone somewhere else everything will go against him. I told him not to worry I will keep it as a secret until he sorts out the divorce but he insisted that I should ab0rt. I didn’t like it. We had a misunderstanding. In anger I hit him with my heels shoes and injured him on the forehead. He was bleeding but he didn’t fight me back. He just left and I was very sorry. I kept begging him, asking for forgiveness, he kept ignoring me and for three months we didn’t contact each other because he was still mad at me.

Then few months later, he called and asked to meet me and I begged him for forgiveness for everything I did to him and I accepted to ab0rt the pregnancy. I was already 5 months gone and two days before the ab0rtion he came to my house and told me that while we’re on the break, he was stressed and started drinking and mistakenly had s*x with his wife and she is also pregnant. He said that she lured him to have s*x to stop the divorce process but he doesn’t care about it. He will go ahead with the divorce because he still loves me and wants to be with me and he pleaded with me to do the ab0rtion for him so he could win the divorce and custody of his children. I was very angry that I threw a plastic chair on him and asked him to leave my house and to never come back that it was over between us. I deleted and blocked his numbers and removed all his pictures on my phone. He was begging my friends to tell me to forgive him but I rejected him and I now have my beautiful daughter, my joy, my everything.

But the only problem I have, my parents sent me abroad to study, I dropped out three years ago and they don’t know I’m not longer in school and that I now have a child because they keep sending me money every month thinking I’m still in school. When I’m not so on December I did traveled back home to my parents and I left my daughter with a friend for 2 whole weeks. I couldn’t sleep or eat and my parents said Now that I’m in my final year after finishing it, they want me to come back home for good by July and where will I leave my child ? I don’t know how to tell my parents about my child? And also that I left school three years ago my dad is very strict and am scared.

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Like I normally do whenever I am asked some certain questions that will be of help to a larger number of people, I decided to write on it. It’s going to be a 2 part article. In this part 1, I’ll be defining who the right person is and in part 2, I’ll show you how to find the right person…follow me

It’s a universal desire that everyone wants to marry the right person. Nobody wants to make a mistake when it comes to choosing a life partner. As a matter of fact, many people are afraid of getting married because they don’t want to make a mistake in marriage, they don’t want to marry the wrong person. Their fear is genuine because who you marry impacts every single area of your life either positively or negatively.

If you ask most ladies about the kind of man that they will like to marry, more often than not, you will hear things like, a man that is God fearing, caring etc. If you ask most guys the same question, you are likely to hear a submissive woman.

Whatever may be the answer, one thing is common and that is they want to marry the right person. It’s a desire common to all and sundry. Even this man that’s writing also doesn’t want to make a mistake.

The importance of marrying the right person can never be overemphasized because that’s the first step to having a successful marriage. When you marry the right person, your problem in marriage is half-solved. Even when the world best marriage counselor marries the wrong person, that marriage cannot survive. It takes two to tango. So, it’s important to marry the right person.

Who Then Is The Right Person?

1. Someone that is suitable to you

In Gen 2:18 the Bible says, “The Lord God said, ‘“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”’

By definition, when something is suitable, it means that that thing has the required skills to perform a particular task, it also means that something is capable, qualified, fit, proper, appropriate for something.

So, the right person is someone who is suitable for you, someone that fits you, your personality, vision, aspirations, value system, belief system etc.

Among the animals that were created, the livestock, the birds and the wild beasts, none of them were suitable for Adam, so God volunteered to make someone that will be suitable for Adam. This is one of the reasons why it’s bad to marry an animal. That’s an unsuitable marriage(Gen 2:20).

2. Someone that is compatible with you

In Luke 5:36-37, Jesus told an interesting parable that helped convey the point I want to make here. It says, “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.”

You don’t use old clothes to patch new clothes, neither do you pour new wine into old wineskins otherwise, there will be a colossal damage. So, from this Scripture you can see that the right person is someone you can peacefully coexist with. Compatible means when two or more things are capable of existing together in harmony.

For 2 people to live peacefully and in harmony with each other, they must be compatible, you must be new clothes and likewise your partner. You must have a new wine and your partner must be a new wineskin, otherwise the problem will ensue eventually. There must be compatibility of belief system, value system, compatibility of purpose, compatibility of health, compatibility of hobbies and interests, compatibility of mentality etc.

3. Someone that is in agreement with you

In Amos 3:3 the Bible asks a crucial question, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” and the answer is impossicant! You cannot walk or flow with someone you’re not in agreement with or someone that is not in agreement with you.

Agreement means harmony of opinion, action, or character. The right person is someone that your opinions, actions or character are in harmony with. Imagine someone that likes going to night club marrying someone that hates anything night club or a feminist getting married to a non-feminist, do the math. Problem will be the daily occurrence in such marriages.

4. Someone that is yokeable with you

In 2 Cor 6: 14 the Bible says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness…”

In Israel, they have a practice of yoking 2 animals of the same species, say 2 donkeys, together for the purpose of ploughing the ground for plantation. The animals must be of the same height for them to be yoked together. You can’t yoke a donkey and a sheep together.

So, the right person is someone that can be yoked with you and there won’t be a problem. The right person is also someone that is on the same page, pedestal or track with, someone with similar or same vision or purpose with you. If you marry someone that’s not yokeable with you, you are likely to have a hunch back or be strangled, either of these one must happen.

5. Someone that has a good character

In Gal 5:22-23 the Bible lists these good characters, “…love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

So, someone that’s the right person is someone that has these qualities . Character deficiency and bankruptcy has been the bane of many marriages of today. Cheating, adultery, violence, stabbing etc, are all products of character deficiency and bankruptcy. You can’t say to be the right person when you are lacking in character.

6. Someone that is the will of God for your life.

A lot has been said and written about the will of God. For some people, the will of God is someone God specially created and ordained for them at birth but that’s not the truth. God didn’t specially create or ordain anyone for us to marry.

However, I believe there’s God’s will. Inasmuch as God didn’t create or ordain anyone for us to marry at birth, it is not everyone that He will want us to marry. The will of God has to do with God’s acceptance and approval. So, anyone, among the various brothers and sisters in the Lord, who has God’s acceptance and approval is the right person.

So, here is the answer to the question of who the right person is. He or she is someone that’s suitable to you, compatible with you, in agreement with you, yokeable with and is the will of God for you. In the next part of this article, I’ll show you how to find the right person.

Thanks for reading
Okolie Samuel

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