DEAR MR AND MRS RIGHT.
By Amah’s Heart.
Part 4
I came up with Nonye’s story mainly because I wanted to use my relationship life tale to educate someone.
I didn’t want to just put out a post of my discovery, I tried to make it into a real life story.
I will use my past relationship as a warning to those suffering and smiling.
Alot of husband and wife Killing and covetousness in relationships prompted the post.
I breakdown all the phases for a clearer understanding.
Starting from when we began courting (the date I agreed to start a relationship with my hubby was not may 7th 2016. It was around August) there was no Ekaette in the picture but he had friends… male and female at his work base.
The truth remains that we had a lot of struggles. I was his strong back bone and refused to give up on him when the going was bad.
And in another hand my hubby was very appreciative and did not take any of that for granted.
He still tell his friends of how I stood by him when he had nothing.
“My wife stood by me, I was afraid she will leave but instead she supported me with all she got…I don’t know what I would have done without her…
Yes, he said that when necessary to encourage a soul.
Some other men will take a woman’s kindness for granted Which was why most ladies shut their heart and eyes from dropping even a pin for a man.
But I’m here to tell you not to be discourage because of one ungrateful soul. If truly kindness and love is in your nature, please show it forth to those in need of it. Don’t judge everyone with one person’s sin.
As for the men, appreciate your woman, no matter the little or much she brings to the table. Not every lady can do that but for those who are willing to try don’t be ungrateful Or turned her into a monster with your bad attitude.
Not every lady will dump you when you have nothing, some are builders and they are ready to build with you, all They needs sometimes is a push. Your seriousness and royalty.
For those ladies who doesn’t like contributing at all, I actually have a friend like that. Please learn to try once in a while. Is not all about money oo. It can be through your prayers, encouraging words and care.
There’s a lot of wife batter and husband Killin going on this days.
If is not working out please leave. Your life is far more precious than anything.
Married couples and those in relationships should learn the tolerate and ignore button. If you see there is a danger ahead and no remedy biko leave.
Marriage is a good thing here on earth if you are with the right partner but there is no marriage in heaven or hell. Don’t go and die all in the name of marriage.
Those who lost their lives in the hands of their so called spouse will only be remembered for a certain period, mourn by love ones but the truth is “Life goes on”
That is more reason why you should be sure of the kind of man or woman you are settling with.
Your partner is another part of you and he or she should be trusted. You can’t be in a relationship or marriage and you are always afraid of your life and your future with the one you claim to love.
I could have made that huge mistake all in the name of love but it got to a time I have to involve God. I couldn’t leave the toxic relationship, I kept tolerating different things. It got to a time I have to go on my knee… asking God to save me from what I can’t save myself from.
I opened my heart, confessed it all out and cried out to God because I saw it was beyond what I can handle and that was when my miracle came.
I’m repeating this again. I stood on my word and did not allow love or whatever was pushing me to make me give in to s*x. It was a no s*x relationship and I made that decision to stand with it and refused to be blown away. And those were his anger because no matter what he do I remain unbending.
It was not by my power because I could have given in and have lots of regrets, it was all by God’s grace.
I wasn’t a saint, I did lots of things I’m not proud of, things I regret doing.
I became violent and fought. After fighting, I will look around and see the damage I have cause and regrets will steps in.
I was never vi0lent in nature but Mr ex brought out another side of me I thought I never had. He practically brought out the worst of me. Intially, he will hit me severally and all I did was to cry and he will plead but since it seems I couldn’t leave the relationship I became a lion. Anger was my push and I wallowed in self pity. Mr ex body will be filled with bruises, face swollen and I’m having my own bruises too but I felt satisfied with my stupid efforts. I wonder where such strength came from. I was very quiet and calm in nature. I can’t even hurt a fly. I was the weakest in my family so how come I have such forbidden strength to fight and inflict him with injuries.
After the whole deal, I will not worry over my own pain but over his because I felt like a beast.
He used to fight me as if he was fighting his follow man and surprisingly I will manage to still pull through and knock him down.
If people ask him what happened he will lie that “okada” hit him or he had an accident.
He one day told his friends and everyone that cares to listen that I was the one that inflicted such injury on him.
I used to suffer humiliation and shame. He used to hit me first but it all stopped when I started giving it back to him.
Is not something to be proud off.
No, I deeply regret those days, I should have walked away but I stayed, I tolerated, hoping it will stop. Hoping he will change but instead it became worse.
I Just couldn’t leave.
There used to be some strange bond, attachment, power that held me down in that relationship. It makes it hard for me to stand on my word of leaving him. Anytime I said I’m finally breaking free, this dude will come back kneeling, crying and begging and the next thing is that I’m back to him. Sometimes he doesn’t even have to beg, after Just a week of leaving I will not be myself. It was as if some part of me is missing and I will still run back to him.
He was naturally vi0lent. He beats up his sister who was a graduate then and far older than me and even n@ked her in public. He fought a man inside a commercial bus and the man took an iron and broke his head. His head was later stiched.
Those days I really wanted to run without looking back because the signs were very clear but he is ready to call all his community elders to plead on his behalf. He will even involved my siblings to beg me.
He knew I love writing but he was against it. He was a very jealous type and hates it when I post a story in a WhatsApp group back then and people are calling me asking for more.
He tried to discourage me from writing and in other to please him I obeyed.
It was after I met my hubby in 2016 I became free again to write which was the same year my page was created through the help of a kind mutual friend #Sam and his loving fiance then.
I really wanted to be free from Mr ex but I don’t know how. It was as if he became part of my life…my entire being.
I made up my mind since I can’t do it God will have to step in and do it for me. It took me four years and I finally got my freedom.
He had good side too, maybe been a good cook and can crack funny jokes… few other things.
We had few happy days and lots of sad days. I remain royal, I once paid his rent, buy gifts for him and took lots of risk for him but hunkle still did not change.
Wow, I left after such a long time.
He was pained for many reasons and refused to rest.
He used different means just to get me back but who God has set free is free indeed.
My mind was strongly made up and to me there will be no going back.
It was after my freedom I met my husband. The flesh of my flesh.
After breaking free, Mr ex even have the guts to sort out my man then who is my husband now. He tried selling cheap trash to him so that bros can leave me but bros wasn’t fooled. Bros came and told me everything my ex said about me, I didn’t feel bad because I knew what Mr ex is capable of. Instead we end up laughing over it.
One of the most beautiful decision of my life was leaving him. I felt like celebrating my freedom. Freedom from tears, pain, anger, sadness and many ill things you can only imagine.
I later have to forgive myself for many wrong decisions I made and also to forgive Mr ex even if he doesn’t merrit it.
I believe Mr Ex is a changed man now, (I strongly hope so) he is not who he used to be and I’m happy for the transformation.
I wanted to be free inside and out, I don’t want to bring my past into my present or start hating every man that comes my way because of one man sin.
I’m glad I achieved it and God crowned my efforts.
Me and hubby dated for almost three years before our wedding. I felt loved, I forgot that I used to have a violent side. His love covered up my multitude of sin.
I was back to being my real self again.
You too can apply same method.
Don’t stay in a violent relationship. If the ship is not moving to the right direction, please step out of it.
If you can’t leave, if it seems like your body and soul is so much attach, you even wonder what people will say after showing off your partner and almost everyone knows two of you are an item, It may seem very difficult which is more reason why you should seek God out. try taking it to God in prayer and watch how he will do that which seems impossible to you.
Don’t curse anyone or go into fetishism because you want to hurt your ex or those you think are standing on your way. Please don’t try it because the repercussions comes back like a lightening bolt.
Whatever will make you add more regrets to the list of unfortunate things in your life avoid it
Let God be both the judge and the warrior. He alone can fight for you and you will be victorious at the end.
God has never failed me, it may take time but it will still come through.
I’m using my own past relationship, baring my heart out to let you know that Life has no duplicate.
Don’t go and start exercising your muscles in front of a man, don’t become violent and end up losing one part of your body.
Please if there is no mutual understanding between you and your partner kindly walk away. Do it now that you still have breath. Run and don’t look back???
THE END
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