HOUSEHOLD ENEMIES
EPISODE 13
All through the drive from the hospital to the house, Funke’s mother does not say a word to her. The passengers in the commercial bus recognise her and her mother as the girl who brought another man home on the day of her Introduction to another man. Funke is buried in thoughts as she dreads her father’s reaction when he finds out that she is pregnant outside wedlock.
Funke repeats dialing Kenny’s number but he still doesn’t pick. She knows that he is the father of the child as she has never been with another man ever since she met him at the airport. “I will send him a text and if he doesn’t reply, I will go and meet him in the city tomorrow”, she thought. When they arrive at their junction, her mother alights and without waiting for her walks away to the house.
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Kenny is on his way to the gym when his phone beeps alerting him of a new message. He picks it up and seeing who the message is from, he drops the phone. Since he left Funke behind in her village, he has refused to pick her calls, not because he didn’t want her anymore but because of the embarrassment she caused him and his parents. He tried to forget her but the more he tried, the more his heart yearns for her. Only she understands him and deep within his heart, he knows he cannot abandon her, not after all she sacrificed to be with him. When he gets to the gym, he meets David, his best friend.
David: “Keno lala, how are you today?”
Kenny: “I am okay, man.”
David: “You don’t look too good. Any problem? Is it the marriage plans that is feasting on you? I can help out in the plans, as per best man concern.”
Kenny: “Which marriage plans? That one is past tense, it didn’t work.”
David: “What! You can’t be serious. I thought you went for the introduction ceremony in her village last week?”
Kenny: “That didn’t hold. One village champ disrupted everything. I am so confused right now.”
David: “How can you be confused? Don’t tell me that you are letting go of the girl you love because of one village tout. Afterall that this girl has sacrificed for you? Are you that heartless? Common man, get up and fight for the girl you love, that’s what differentiate men from boys.”
When Kenny gets home from the gym, he ponders on what his friend told him and he decides to call Funke to find out how she is faring. Then he remembers that she had sent him a text which he saw on his way to the gym earlier in the day. He opens the text and it reads:
“Baby, please pick my call for the sake of your child growing in me. I can’t handle this alone anymore.”
Visibly surprised and excited, Kenny becomes confused. “What does she mean by my child growing in her? Funke is pregnant for me? Wow! So I am going to be a father soon?” In his excitement, he forgets to dail Funke. He runs to his father’s bedroom. He meets his Father watching news on Aljazera television.
Kenny: “Dad! I am going to be a father and you will become a grandfather!”
Kenny’s Father: “Congratulations, son. You have made me proud.”
“What is that I just heard o”, his mother said as she rushes out of the restroom, clad in a white towel.
Kenny: “You will soon have someone to call you granny, mum. I will be a father soon.”
Kenny’s Mother: “Jehova be praised o. So, I will soon carry my grandchild. Ah, this calls for a big celebration. When will I meet my daughter in law? We need to perform the traditional marriage rites and bring her to this house as soon as possible.”
Kenny’s Father: “Oh yes, my son. Your mother is right. We will not have our first grandchild delivered outside wedlock.”
Kenny: “Dad, mum, she is Funke.”
“What!” Her parents let out simultaneously.
Kenny’s Father: “What is wrong with you, ehn Kehinde. The same girl that almost caused us our lives is the same person you are talking about?”
Kenny’s Mother: “How are you even sure the pregnancy you are talking about here is yours?”
Kenny: “Mum, that girl has never been with another man since we met two years ago. I practically monitored her movements in the US. She lived with me and couldn’t go anywhere without informing me. Please, mum and dad, you need to support me to bring this girl home as my wife. We can go for a DNA text after the child is born but I can swear that I am responsible. Funke is a good girl, she adores me and I can never find a woman as submissive as her again.”
Kenny’s Father: “Its okay, my son. Whatever I have against that girl is no more now that she is carrying your child. I do not support ab0rtion and so I cannot advise you to ab0rt my grandchild. We will do whatever it takes to make her your wife, even it means paying off that tout in her village.”
Kenny: “Thank you, dad. You are the best father in the world”. He turns to his mother, “mum?”
Kenny’s mother: “What are you waiting for? Call her and tell her we are coming to see her people tomorrow.”
Kenny: “You all are amazing. I am the luckiest child in the world”. He hugs his mother tightly.
Kenny’s mother: “I love you more than life itself and I will support anything that makes you happy.”
Kenny runs to his room and dial Funke’s number, it is switched off. He waits for 30minutes and it is still switched off. “God, I hope she hasn’t done anything to harm herself and my baby”, he says, suddenly feeling guilty.
Funke is confused when she reads Kenny’s message informing her that he will come the next day with his parents to see her parents. She knows that she must not allow his parents to be embarrassed again. Theirs was a small village and the presence of guests never goes unoticed, she fears that somebody may tell Wahidi of her inlaws arrival and he will come and make trouble again.
Funke: “I will go and see Wahidi in his house and talk some sense into him. I cannot sit here and watch him come tomorrow and drive my inlaws away again. When they leave this time around, I am sure they won’t return and I am already pregnant”, she reasons aloud.
Funke goes to the room where her parents are having dinner, she is determined to make peace with them at all cost. As soon as she enters the room, she goes down on her feet.
Funke: “Ba mi, Ma mi, like the prodigal son, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am not fit to stand before you but you are my parents and I have no other people to turn to but you. I suffered a lot before getting to America. I am sorry I am pregnant outside wedlock but you need to understand that the man I am pregnant for is willing to marry me. Please help make this possible so that my child will have a home.”
Baba Funke: “Ah Funke, you are disgrace to this family. You left here for only two years and instead of going to concentrate on your studies, you went and was busy opening your legs for every man that asks after your name. You got pregnant for another man even when you are engaged to another man here. Now, Wahidi’s father has gone to report me to the council of elders. Iwo, Funke!”
Mama Funke: “Look, Funke, all those big English you and your father are speaking does not concern me. All I know is that you must marry Wahidi. His mother is the leader of all the women that sell in our village and she has given me a good place close to her stall where I sell without paying any rent. She does all those things because she thinks say we go be inlaw. Now, you say wetin? No try am, you must marry Wahidi.”
Funke: “Mama, how can I marry Wahidi a common village tout?”
Mama Funke: “You no know say him be village tout all the time wey una dey follow una self up and down before you travel? Na as you go America go dey collect men anyhow na im your eyes open. Better tell that eyes to close make you go back to Wahidi.”
Funke: “Please, I need you all to understand me. I do not love Wahidi anymore. He is not up to my standard. Imagine me ending up with a village tout like him despite my exposure. Besides, I am already pregnant for another man, I dont want my child to grow up in the house of another man. Please, mama, Kenny and his people are rich, they will get you another shop anywhere you want.”
Mama Funke: “Over my dead body will you marry another man. Wahidi’s mother has been very good to me and I will not be an ingrate. You fit go ahead and marry the owner of your pregnancy but you no go receive my blessings.”
As her mother storms out of the room, Funke breaks down in tears. Her father walks to her, places his hands on her shoulders and says: “Dont worry, my daughter, go ahead and marry the man you want, I am with you on this.”
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At about 5:00pm that day, Funke puts on a chiffon top, One that will not expose her protruding stomach and walks to Wahidi’s place which is just about 5 streets away from her house. When she gets to the compound, she meets Wahidi exchanging words with Kola, his colleague at the mechanic shop where they work.
Wahidi: “Kola, I say you no fit do anything. Even your papa no fit do me anything talk less of you.”
Kola: “Wahidi, me no fit do anything? Your papa for there. See, if you no pay me my money before tomorrow evening, you go travel journey wey you no go ever come back. You borrow money from my hand to pay come be problem abi, okay, I go show you for this village.”
Wahidi: “Kola, you go wound o, I don use that money smoke and you no fit get am back. If you try me, I go cut you throway like grass wey dem dey cut trowey. My boys go arrange your matter, my own na to give instruction.”
Kola: “See as you dry like stick, na the pikin wey Bunmi born for me go beat you, you no fit even stand near my younger brother.”
“You say wetiin?”, Wahidi grabs a bottle on the ground and breaks it with his head and makes for Kola before Funke’s voice freezes him.
Funke: “Wahidi!”
Her voice has a magical effect on him and he drops the bottle and holds her hand leads her to his room.
Kola: “Funke, you better run for your life, Wahidi na craze person and ee fit put you inside big trouble.”
“We go complete this fight tomorrow. Make I go attend to my babe first, no think say I don forgive you”, Wahidi fires back at him.
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Funke has been pleading with Wahidi to stop causing trouble and allow her marry the man of her choice but he remains adamant, threatening that if he doesn’t marry her, no body will. Angered by his arrogance, she gets up to leave his place.
Wahidi: “If you dare waka commot from this house, you don buy trouble. I swear I go kill you and that man on una wedding day.”
Funke: “I can never marry you, get that into your head. You are such an illiterate that has refused to grow up.”
Wahidi: “Na now you know say I be illiterate? Why you promise me say you go come back come marry me?
Funke: “Wahidi, please, pity me. I have been through a lot, just allow me marry the man I want. I promise that we will still remain friends and I will help you in any way I can.”
Wahidi: “You want me to allow you marry him? Okay, allow me do one more time.”
Funke: “I beg your pardon?”
Wahidi: “Allow me sleep with you this night. You go sleep for here and we go make love all night, tomorrow, you fit go marry any man wey you like. Make I take my share of the body wey you don give that man tire.”
Funke: “No, I can never do that. I am engaged already, I can’t cheat on my man.”
Wahidi: “Okay, be prepared to bury your man then. I am Wahidi, I don’t say what I won’t do. Una go hear from me.”
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