FINAL PART FOR TOPE’S HEART TALE?.
BY AMAH’S HEART.
I tried dating again.
I met a guy from Akwa ibom. I told him I have a child since its something I can’t hide forever.
He likes me and wanted us to date, he was even talking about marriage and I was willing to try again but after telling him that I have a child
He said he needed to inform his mother and sisters first to know if is okay.
After he said that I knew within me that I won’t date him talk less of marrying him.
He just proved himself to be a “momma’s boy” he doesn’t have a mind of his own to make decisions for himself.
After going to inform his Mom, he came back to tell me that his mother didn’t say anything after telling her but through her facial expression he can tell that she doesn’t like the idea of him marrying a single mother.
He said I shouldn’t worry that his mother will eventually be fine and settle with his choice of a woman because he does not have a problem with me having a child.
But I already made up my mind that I don’t want to proceed with the relationship so I ended things immediately with him.
I met another guy who was a Muslim but he flirts, he likes women alot. He claims to love me and ready to do anything I want him to do but I can’t deal with his womanizing lifestyle so I flee.
I met few other guys who can not deal with the fact that I have a child. while some, I can’t handle there excesses.
My baby’s father and his mother thought me a bitter lesson and I was threading carefully not to make another huge mistake again.
I just did not hide the fact that I have a child from any guy that I meet at any point in time.
despite the fact that I haven’t seen my baby for sometime now but he is always in my prayers.
I later met a new guy who was ready to take me as I am even after telling him about my son.
He was okay and he treats me well.
I did not tell him the main reason why I ended things with my baby’s father because my mother blame me for telling my baby’s father about my virginity that made us go our separate ways.
And made him and his mother to treat me the way they did.
I’m some times scared to tell my present guy about my other past.
if I don’t tell him and he happens to finds out in the future, It might be worse than my ex.
Although there was no way he would find out if I don’t tell him. He is not even the type that cares about my past live.
He said whatever happens in the past is none of his business because he wasn’t in the picture then, he won’t even be interested to listen to anybody that has details of my ugly past.
all that matters to him is our present and future together.
He feels this way but sometimes I’m scared of my past terrible mistakes.
I guess like he said, let the past remain where it belongs.
About the Evangelist, they moved out of town. They relocated to another Faraway state, I guess because of shame or something more personal that I don’t really care to know.
Up till now, I have not seen my baby. Is over two years.
I was told to stop going there because of all the embarrassment.
I was told to bring something good out of myself first. So at least when the boy asks for his mother, I will be presentable.
I know some day, soon enough I will get to see my child.
I still pray everyday for them to have a change of mind and my baby to have a forgiving and loving spirit.
I never chose to leave him behind, I could have forgotten about school Just to stay and take care of him but I was forced into letting go and I didn’t have anybody to fight with me to retrieve him from my ex back then except my mother who they insulted.
Time is flying, three years and counting.
I’m doing my NYSC. And very soon I will be be rounding up with my youth service. I’m a graduate already, it remain to put the proper things in place before I can proceed for my child.
I’m doing really fine now. sometimes I regret that phase of my life, I wish I can start all over again and right my wrongs and mistakes.
I encourage myself to do better everyday.
After my youth service, I have plans and one of them is getting back my son.
THE END.
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