TAMAR
Episode 14
Abel was not always around as he took over Lord Reese business at the port, while Vim was in charge of the rest, Vim assigned able hands for the job since his father was down and can’t do much any more, so Vim and Abel were mostly out, Abel hardly come home anymore, so it was hard for me to see him again, but I was always praying for him.
I kept praying for Lord Reese, I have a whole room to myself in the outhouse, Abel make sure of that, which made it possible for me to talk to God out loud, I shut my door, kneel down and pray so well in my room without any interruption, I pray for anything and everything, during the week of lord Reese illness, I was constantly praying for him, I go to his chamber only when I’m summoned, as he was improving day by day, I was happy at his quick recovery, as they all stopped all the learned and local physicians, and other magician and sorcerers like Obia who thinks they have power to make him well, but instead they make him worst, I was now the only one allowed to Lord Reese’s chamber, sometime while praying for him I forget myself and pray it out loud as the Lord leads but they have never questioned my faith as Lord Reese opened his hearth to received healing, , I go in there twice or three times in a week to quietly pray for him until he was able to stand on his two feet and move around, what he has not being able to do for a very long time.
One evening, night has already come to settle, I sat exactly where Abel use to sit by the fountain, I wasn’t praying I just wanted to sit out there since I don’t have much doing, the air was cool and the night was peaceful, I sat there as I think of Abel, Zity, Adolfo, the merchant, little Jon and the twins, Eura, Rhonda, Lami, the midwife. my mind was just busy wandering all around the people I have come to know, I silently pray for Zity, her quest and her large appetite for youthful pleasure is going to do her more harm than good, if she keep entertaining Okra she will fall deeper into darkness, which will be too deep for her to see a way out, I also prayed that God will set confusion and trouble between Okra and Zity so that they can separate,
I thought of father and mother, my brother Joe, Kathy and Deb, they are all resting in the bosom of the lord, someday I will join them, this earth is not my place as Abel will say, there’s life even after death, but for now, I know I got work to do here, which will not be finishing soon, I sometime wish to have children of my own, and also have a man like Abel, who will love me with the love of God, I wish for everyone in this kingdom to come to know God and turn from their evil, just as the Lord said in his word
“if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land…
“Lord what could be your will for me, I really do want to be with a man that fears and loves you, somebody like Abel, I want to be with a man who will build me up when I’m down, corrects me and pray with me, and there’s no other than Abel, Lord he is waiting for you to tell him what to do because he thinks you have other plans for both of us, you said we should ask and we shall receive, seek we shall find, and when we knock the door shall be open unto us, Lord I’m fervently asking that I may receive all the blessing you have in store for me and for Abel…but in all of this, i become nothing that you may be everything in my life, let only your will be done, is not about what I want but your plan and purpose for my life, father, let your will be don…
“You are here alone, talking to yourself, just like Abel does, psyche… that’s crazy, I wonder how you and Abel does that, talking to yourself like mad people, are you missing Abel,…you have not gone to bed yet…hope you are well…
I was startled as I turned and saw Vim, he approached and sat beside me, as the light coming from the fountain bulb shadowed us
“My lord, I’m doing well, I just like listening to the sound of the fountain, is lovely out here…
“Yeah, it is, have not really taken notice of it until now, I see why Abel and you sit out here most part of your evening…
We were silent, before he spoke again…
“Tamar, is quiet obvious you love Abel and can’t love another, I know you are a Christian just like Abel is, I have come to know that without a soothsayer telling me what is going on, and you two felt is only normal to marry a fellow believer… is fine but I don’t want you to get harm, I have hard you pray out loud when I passed though the outhouse, is very dangerous thing to do, Abel is wise and doesn’t go praying out loud like you do, I’m not saying you should be scared here, nobody will hurt you because of your religion here, especially now father is well and mother is so grateful to you and to whatever god you invoked that healed father, outside here is dangerous, I have seen what they do to Christian, even father’s power is limited, whenever the angry mob catches anybody that’s a Christian they hardly escape alive, you are young lady and may not know how to defend yourself out there, I just want you to be careful, you can still take up any god of your choice in this land, i…don’t want to…I mean you are important to Zity, mother and father and also Abel…
“Thank you my lord, I am very careful, am please to know you care, Abel is loved by all, and I’m not exception, but we have no intimacy together, he is a great friend and that’s all we share. I will be careful not to get into trouble out there…
“good to know…I just do not want anything to happen to anyone in our care, I know I use to live a wayward life, I know I called you ugly with your bald head that was all shaved to skin…I supported my sister when she rejected you after mother presented you to her…I wanted mother to get a finer girl for Zity instead of you, and I watched you transform right under my eyes, you were no more the bald ugly girl, you transformed into a beautiful lady, both physical and inside, which seem normal, until I started wanting you, and I also know that I harassed you… out here in the middle of the night, I know you have every right to hold that against me, but I’m not what I use to be, I don’t know what happened to me, but I started hating myself after that night, I felt strange like some strange power struck me behind when I grabbed you, I can’t forget that night in a hurry, I usually get away from such act, I have never seen any lady that says no to me, you were the first and I hard you pray and then stood out there and look at me boldly without fear, I felt dirty and guilt washed over me, I wanted you to be scared, I wanted to still be in charge but even after you left and I returned to my chamber all I think of was you, I wanted you for pleasure but that changed that night, I began to see things differently Tamar, you weren’t the most beautiful, I have a lot of beautiful ladies around me they are always at me call, you were special, you are not like any one of the women I have met, you broaden my understand about women, life is not just for pleasure, there’s more to it, yes, I have everything and every woman I wanted, both free and slave, I never gets satisfied, then it all change suddenly, I started avoiding my crazy friends, I began to view women differently, they weren’t created for just pleasure, they are the wombs that carried us, the arm the held us, they are our first superhero and with that my idea and perceptive began to change, and I saw myself respecting women more than I use to do, I saw myself trying to be better and to make mother and father proud like they have always wanted, you started that journey for me Tamar, the journey of becoming a better man, and I have wanted to tell you this for a long time and I was just waiting for the right moment, and I’m glad we are having this conversation, I’m grateful to you for what you are doing in family’s life, in the life of Zity, who you loved dearly, not like a slave to her mistress but I see genuine love when you attend to Zity, in the life of mother and also father and in my own life, all this I’m grateful to you, Tamar…
“I’m honored to be a servant in this fine household and to serve a wonderful family like yours, for whatever that happened has being in the past, thank you too for accepting me and giving me the chance to live and to serve here, and many more, all this I’m grateful for…my lord.
“please call me Vim, can you do that, see me like you will see your friend, just like you call Abel by his name, call me same way, no more my lord, see me as your friend not as your lord or master, because all I want to be is your friend, I know you and Abel got a thing, you love him and I see the way he feels happy around you and the way he speaks to you calmly and quietly, and I felt like Abel is finally in love with a woman, until you said you are just friends, whatever you two have together I can’t take that away, Abel is a good man, we all know that he is strange and has never seek a woman for pleasure since I have come to know him, I’m only seeing him more cheerful with you, feeling all comfortable around you and you are so fond of him, I’m happy for that, but since I have chosen to be so truthful, I will tell you a bitter truth, I sometime feel jealous when I see the way you and Abel act around each other…but is okay, is also normal, I don’t let such ill emotions to settle in my heart for long because if you allow jealousy to settle in your heart for too long it becomes bitterness which will birth envy and will leads to disaster if is not controlled on time, I’m happy for you and if you two are planning to settle down in the future is…is all good, you and Abel will make a perfect couple, I know you can’t love another like you love Abel, I see it in your eyes when you look at him… is nice speaking with you Tamar, I will be leaving you alone now to continue with your quiet time, let me return to my chamber, I’m glad I have bared my heart out and I feel so free now, and another thing be careful outside there, is quiet dangerous, you are free to worship at every corner of the house but once you are out of the estate you have got to be careful and to be wise too, I don’t believe in a god that can watch his people stone to death or the animals tearing down their skin and he can’t save them yet they are ready to die for him, I watch this foolishness among the Christians and I’m lost of words, that is foolishness, and the Christians believe in this lies that a god somewhere died for them and they want to die for him too, I just do not understand… I really do not understand why they take all that risk but I sincerely don’t want anything to happen to you…do you understand..
“Yes my lord…Vim. I do understand, thank you for speaking with me, I really appreciate, may I continue to be a blessing to this household, I feel so accepted and important with your words, God bless you my lor…Vim, pardon me…it will take time for me to get use to calling you by name but I will try…
He smile and nodded before walking away, I had this beautiful feeling in my stomach, because my heart was gladden that Vim spoke so responsible and so encouraging, I look around myself wondering who I have got the opportunities that I have being getting in this household and outside, the only thought that came to my mind is that it can only be God.
The next day I went to Lord Reese chamber as I was summoned, I saw him sitting and his lovely wife, lady Phin was beside him, I sat opposite them as I was asked to sit
“we remain grateful to you Tamar, I’m glad that Zity sent you down, we tried different things, different god and goddess and yet nothing happened, not until you came and I saw myself getting better, you are a divine child, I’m glad that my wife picked you for Zity and did not listen to her plea in the beginning to change you, Zity is a loving child and can also be difficult, she always want her ways, but we her parents knows better than she does, and when we asked her to marry Adolfo it was put in my heart and I felt something good will come out of the marriage, Zity did not want him but accepted when she saw she had no choice, I and the mother were so happy when we had she was carrying a child and we all looked forward to the time she will bring fort the baby, I wanted to meet my grand child, but the bad news came again that she lost the baby immediately after birth, I was ill when the news got to me, the sickness became even worst, I question the gods why they will allow such to happen, she refuse to come home during her pregnancy when her mother asked her to come and even when her mother sent message that she couldn’t make it to her delivery time she was not sad or bothered, I wish she has listened to her mother and come home to us, probably the baby would not have died, you see and hear a whole lot of things that goes on in Adolfo’s house, I know you are meant to always support your mistress, and wouldn’t want to betray her to anyone, we will not make you do that as much as we want to ask you how she is living with Adolfo, I will rather not ask again, I live Zity for the gods to help her, I know she will still bear another child, and when Vim finally marries he also will bear us grandchildren, because grandchildren are the blessing of the old, so the main reason why I called you here is for you to tell me how you did it, you hardly say a word, maybe just few times, you prayed quietly in your heart and your God hard you he listened to you and healed me, I know you serve same God as Abel does, you are a Christian, Abel Is but he is a wise boy, he is like my son, I have always told him to be careful not because of me but because of the unknown enemies living among us, there are slaves in this household who are not what they seem to be, even though I know it may be difficult and impossible for a slave to take whatever happens here to the street but I still want everyone to be careful because you don’t know who your enemy is. so I asked Abel to be careful and I know Abel must have told you to also be careful too, even right inside here, so that you will not be sold out to the outside enemy where I will not be able to save you with my powers, Abel has never displayed his faith so obvious like you did that day when you boldly took my hands and silently prayed fervently. me and my wife want to know this God, we want you to tell us about him, do not be afraid…
At that moment Vim knocked and entered, he listened as his father as he urged me to tell them about God, Vim spoke up before i could say anything
“father, you too want to hear about the god of the Christian, you were only healed by Tamar’s magical power, or by a mare coincident not by some god, by the time she start telling you about her god she will feel proud to take it to the street and start sharing with people which will be digging her grave, is too risky father, I’m not comfortable with that, I just don’t want her behaving like Abel who seem to be sold out to his god and he is so zealous, and Abel is only alive because you issued warning on his head making him untouchable, Abel is wise enough and does not even pray out loud, I hardly see him pray to the unseen god loud, even in his chamber, but I have hard Tamar praying out loud in her room at the outhouse, I just fear for her, do not do this father, instead advice her to be careful not making her feel she can go around shouting I’m a Christian, I’m a Christian, and she will suddenly disappear and no one will hear of her again and when search is carried out she will be found dead somewhere, stoned by the people who hates her type or torn apart by the animals, the thought of it makes me sick I don’t want to go risking her life for nothing, for a god who can not even save her…
“The foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men and the weakness of God is stronger than mighty men… For he took our infirmities and carried away our diseases… my lord’s hand is not too short to save his people and he is not a weak God that he can not deliver us from the plot of the wicked, for he dried up the red sea with his command, turning the river into desert. The lord is not deaf that he can not hear, he is not a God made by mortal men, he is Jehovah, for in him I live, move and have my being.
Everywhere fell silent as the word of God flows out through me, Vim couldn’t speak further as he turned and walked out, I understand his fear he wants me to be safe but he is also preventing his parents from receiving salvation which was so close to them, the devil wanted to use him without him knowing and i held onto the word that says, “submit yourself to God and resist the devil and he will flew from you” and that was what I did, as I spoke the word that comes to my heart out loud without fear, Lord Reese and lady Phin seem shocked at the strong word that flow from my lips, and he said I should go, he will summon me tomorrow to speak about my God to them, I thanked them again and walked out.
As I walked down the long passage that leads to the out house, somebody suddenly drew me from behind and when I turned it was Vim, he asked me to follow him, I resisted but he seem serious, he took my hands and took me to his chamber, I was not afraid although he seem angry.
“what is wrong with you, do you want to get yourself killed, I know your kind of person Tamar, you can be fearless when that spirit comes upon you, I witnessed it at the fountain many years ago when you stood up to me, and that’s what will happen when you forget where you are and go around talking to everyone about your god, it will be dangerous, worship within this house and stop spreading that lies to my parents, everybody can not be crazy in this house, after speaking to them you will feel you got that power to go out there and talk to anyone you feel that needs repentant…and that’s my worry…
“I totally understand your fears my lor…Vim, but please do not stop me from speaking out to your parents, I’m always careful out there and nothing will happen to me, and even if something happens then let it be to the Lord’s glory, I die to the world and live for God..
“that is exactly what I’m saying Tamar, do you hear yourself, dying to the world and living for your god, do you even think death is an interesting thing with the way you make it sound, once you die that is the end you can’t live for any god again, stop all this madness…please
“You will not understand the ways of God, for even if he allows us to wound he will also binds us up and if he strikes us his hand will heal us. I’m not crazy and I’m not scared what the people out there can do for with God I’m secured…
“I wish I can talk you out of this, I wish I can make you listen and see the danger ahead, i…I don’t want anything to happen to you Tamar…
“Nothing will happen to me, why are you so worried about me, why do you worry so much more than mys….
“Is…because… I love you Tamar…I really do…i…i have being wanting to tell you for long but always lost my courage, i have nursed the feeling and can’t keep it in my heart anymore…i love you…i…
He paused and looked up at me as if he has said a forbidden word which he did not want to say, he looked like a child that was beaten as he moved closer to me,
I was shocked at his revelation and I looked at him puzzled, I have never thought of it before that somebody like Vim will actually fall in love with a slave girl like me, when I’m not in his class or level, he moved close enough to me and I bent my head he lifted my head up and gently kissed me, he kissed me deeply like he has being holding back so much emotion and I when I managed to pull away from him he started apologizing,
I was shock at the speed at which everything was happening around me and Vim.
I quickly ran out of his chamber and ignored him as he called me to stop.
I was shock from the whole realization that Vim loved me and also the sudden kiss, I have never being kissed in my life before and with my first experience I don’t know what to think of it. Now I understand why he was so worried about me.
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