Wingless And Beautiful
?EPISODE 15 ?
The next afternoon, I went back to CRC. I couldn’t wait to
see Hunter again. Yesterday, I was unsuccessful with the
job-hunting thing.
Today, I planned to put a bright smile on my face first and then I’ll go job-hunting again tomorrow.
But when I got to CRC, Hunter was not waiting for me at
the steps.
He must have gone to the garden already. However, when I got to our place, he wasn’t there either.
I felt extremely disappointed. I never went to this garden and
not find him sitting on the bench or pacing back and forth in front of it… because he was eagerly waiting for me. But today… something was different.
And somehow, I have this
nagging feeling that… something was not right.
At the table, there was a small wooden box. I picked it
up nervously, my hands were trembling. Somehow, I knew it
was for me. Nobody else came to this place but the two of us.
I opened the box, and found a small recording device. It
had a post-it on it that read ‘Play me’, in crooked lines.
My heart immediately broke because I knew the clumsy
handwriting was Hunter’s effort to write something without
actually seeing.
I also have a feeling that whatever was on the tape… was his way of saying goodbye.
I took a deep breath and pressed play. After a while, I
heard his soothing voice speak to me… like he was just
sitting here beside me.
“Angel, I’m sorry. I had to make a quick decision to leave
and take my chances.
When I came to this place, I planned to stay here for as long as my father could pay the bills.
I thought this would be my jail, my he..ll… for the rest of my life. I had no intention of going back to my old life… or living my life at all.
“But when you came… you taught me how to smile
again.
You reminded me of the things I loved about my life.
You touched me in ways that I never thought possible. You
gave me the warmth, comfort and hope that I never thought
I needed.
“You gave me a new reason to live for… a new reason to
want to wake up in the morning and see the light.
You gave my life a new meaning… a new reason to get out of the
darkness where I found refuge in for so many months.
“Because of you… I want to see again. I want to take
care of you. I want to see you smile, as much as I love
hearing you laugh.
I want to build a future with you… where I can protect you, where I am capable enough to chase your nightmares away.
“This is not goodbye. I know we will see each other
again. And when that time comes… I will be able to see the beautiful face of my angel.
“Can you do something for me? Can you write a diary
for me? Write on it every day until we see each other again?
Because when I come back, I would want to know
everything I missed about you… about what happened to
your life while I was gone. When I come back… I would be
able to read your diary, angel.
I would be whole again… and
strong enough to protect you, take care of you… live for
you.
“I have something for you. I enclosed it with this letter. I
hope you wear it.
And think about me every day… because
I, for certain, would think about you every day of my life
until we see each other again.
“You never told me how you felt about me.
I guess I’m gonna have to wait until I get back to know for sure. But I want you to know… without a doubt… I love you, angel.
“I didn’t say it in front of you before because I want to
be able to see your face when I do. I never said that to
anybody before. I never felt as strongly for anyone.
But now… it’s one of the reasons why I wanted to see again… if only to see the reaction on your face when I say those words to you.
“You will always be my angel… and I hope one day, I
could be yours.”
Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
I struggled to breathe and I was cursing myself. I should have come earlier. I should have been with him the whole day yesterday.
If only I knew that it was our last day, I would have spent most of it with him. I wouldn’t have wanted that day to end.
I would have kssed him a million times and
memorized how to it feels. I should have taken a picture of
him, so I could look at his face every night before I go to
bed.
I should have told him how I really felt about him.
Because I loved him too! While he was doing what was
needed to be done to get his vision back… he should have
that to hold on to.
He deserved to know that I would be waiting for him to come back to me. And even if he couldn’t see again…
I would still stay with him… and love him. That I
didn’t care if he was blind… he was still capable of
protecting me… he already chased my nightmares away.
And that was enough… he was enough.
Inside the box, I found a gold necklace. The pendant
was a shape of a guitar pick. It was gold with the letters ‘H
& A’ engraved on it. At the back, something was engraved
in Braille.
I didn’t know how to read Braille but I had a
feeling I knew what it meant. Three lines. First line had one
character. The second line had four. And the last line had
three.
I sat on the bench and raised my knees up to my chin. I
hugged my legs… wishing that it was Hunter’s arms that
were wrapped around me no ~w… just like yesterday and the
days before.
He said he would give everything just to see my face.
Well, right now, I would give everything just to have him
with me again.
Here. Now.
Thinking about him and calling out his name in my
head… I did the only thing I could do… I let all the tears~ go.
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