Wingless And Beautiful
?EPISODE 17 ?
I went to grade school with them. Chelsea thinks that Candy lives beyond her means… and tries hard to be like her. And she called Candy’s brother a retard. I wonder how they’re still friends.”
I closed my locker and turned to her. She was right. I
should actually pity people who had tiny brains and shallow
minds instead of feeling belittled by them. “Let’s go to
Chemistry,” I said, smiling at Denise.
From that day on, Denise and I became good friends. So
far, one year had passed and she hasn’t done anything bad
to me. Denise was genuine in wanting to be my friend.
I wrote to my diary every day. When I sat on my bedside
to write, I would imagine Hunter sitting there beside me,
listening to my thoughts, hearing me say the words I could not tell anybody else.
I would close my eyes and remember his face… the way he would hold me in his arms and kss me.
Tears would roll down my cheeks because for a while, it
was as if I could really feel his warmth enveloping me. I
could feel all the love he had in his heart going out to me.
I thought about Hunter almost every waking hour. Each
night before I went to sleep, I would say a prayer for him. I
wish he was alright. That whatever operation he went
through made him better… or at least did not make his
condition worse.
I wish I had means to contact him. I wish I knew his
number or his email address.
But that was purely classified
information at CRC and since Meredith had to take more
than one job, she had been too busy to volunteer at CRC.
She couldn’t access inside information that would give me
news about Hunter.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months…
and months turned into a year and a half… still no Hunter.
I Googled his name every day, hoping to God, I wouldn’t
encounter some bad news about him. When I didn’t, I would
say a little prayer of thanks.
And I always prayed that he
was safe, well and healthy.
“I always meant to ask you about your necklace,”
Denise asked me one time. “Boyfriend?”
“Sort of,” I replied, because, in truth, Hunter and I never
really said we were in an exclusive relationship with each other.
“What happened?”
“He… wasn’t well. He went away to have some…
treatment,” I replied, the sadness in my voice could not be disguised.
Denise smiled at me ruefully. “Is he coming back?”
I sighed. “I pray every day that he will.”
“And until you know for sure, you are not going to date
anybody?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have any intention of doing
that. I still loved Hunter. And I still hoped every day that he would come back… even if he still couldn’t see. I didn’t care if he was blind.
He was perfect to me. And he was the only one who saw me… made me feel worthy… even with my flaws, my past, and my scars.
“You’re pretty, you know,” Denise said.
I actually laughed at her statement. “And you’re crazy,
you know.”
Denise shook her head. She reached out for my hair and
fixed it on the side where my scar was, hiding them behind
my locks. “I won’t be able to tell you have a scar if you fix
your hair this way.”
“And what do you want me to do after?” I asked, raising
a brow. “Cheat my way into getting a date?” I shook my
head. “These scars are part of me. Sooner or later, a guy
who would be interested enough to ask me out would see
them and get turned off.”
“Come on, they aren’t bad. And you could get away with
a great personality,” she said, trying to inflict a little
positivity into me.
“I’m sure that’s what guys see the first time they look at
you,” I said sarcastically. “Leave it be, Denise. I’m not
interested in dating anybody. I… sort of promised somebody
I would wait for him.”
“And if he doesn’t come back?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to think about that possibility. “I can’t bear the thought that something bad happened to
him.”
“Okay. What if he got better… but decided to move on
with his life without you?”
It was the first time I thought about that. It never really
crossed my mind before.
What if… what if Hunter got his
sight back… and he went back to his old life? What if he
chose to leave the past and the memories of his blindness
behind? Could I really blame him if he decided not to come
for me?
I shook the thought out of my mind. Hunter was not that
shallow. And he made me a promise. I believed him. I
believed he truly loved me. I believed he would come back
to me.
Meredith was going out of town a lot, working for a big
events company. If her company had a project in another
state or town, she was required to go and stay there for a
couple of days. I didn’t mind being left alone in the house.
I was eighteen now. Plus, the last thing I wanted was to
prevent her from going after her own dreams because she
had to take care of me.
I took a couple of jobs after school too. I still had plans
of going to college. While, there was a chance that I got a
scholarship, I knew I still had to spend for a lot of things.
And the more I saved up, the less Meredith would have to
worry about me.
I got a temporary shift at Strung, a shop that sold
musical instruments. One of their staff went for a holiday for two weeks, they needed somebody to fill in. It was a job I really enjoyed since I could play instruments.
During closing hours, I would hold one of the electric
guitars in the store and I would practice playing ‘Sweet Child
O’ Mine’. I would imagine that Hunter was just right there
beside me. Teaching me, telling me the chords I needed to
play. I was getting better at it too. And one night, I really
nailed it.
“Come on, chica! Sing to it!” Dominic, one of my co-
workers, said to me.
I shook my head. “I would attract too much attention.”
“It’s almost closing time. No one’s here. Just me and Mr.
Simpson. He wouldn’t mind.
He always encouraged us to
test the equipment here anyway,” he said with an
encouraging tone. “Come on. You can play and sing, right?”
Instead of answering, I played the song again.
Dominic set up a microphone in front of me and for just for kicks, I started singing.
I played the song perfectly and I knew the singing
wasn’t bad either. I bet that if Hunter was here, he would be
so proud of me.
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