?WINGLESS AND BEUTIFUL
?
?EPISODE 78?
He took a deep breath. “But I’m leaving for Germanytonight.”
“I’m sure you would be able to find the time!” I snarledat him one last time and then I turned to leave.
I went straight to CRC. I didn’t know how Andersonwould tell Allison about what he did.
If he wouldn’t, then Iwould. I just wanted to get to the diary first, before somebody stumbled upon it and it got lost to us forever. Memories came flooding back to me as I walked thepath towards our garden.
For some moments, I closed myeyes and remembered the hundreds of times I walked it withthe aid of nothing but a walking stick.I came back to this place only once since my transplant.
After that, I couldn’t come back here anymore. There were
far too many memories of Allison in this place.
And it killedme every time to think that she was with somebody else.I was relieved when I found a brown leather-coverednotebook safely sitting on top of the table. I opened it, my hands slightly shaking.
I read the title on the first page, “Letters to Hunter.”I remembered before I left, I asked her to write a diary for me so I could read it when I return.
I felt like my heart just broke inside my ribcage.She had kept her promise.
I took the diary and climbed up on the bench to sit on
top of the table, facing the lake.I flipped through the pages and started reading thewords that she wrote for me.
Dear Hunter…
I don’t know how long I sat there, reading every word.She wrote me almost every day, telling me everything thathappened to her since I left.
Dear Hunter,
Today, we needed to move houses. Meredith could nolonger afford this house. I totally understand that. My mother didn’t exactly leave her with a huge inheritance. I was just worried about how you would find me.
I didn’t knowhow to reach you so I could give you my new address. But Iknow… you would find me. No matter what. We would findeach other…
Dear Hunter,
I was temping at Strung. I love working there. Dominic,the guy I work with, is on the local band. He told me I wouldmake good money playing on gigs.
But unfortunately,Meredith doesn’t agree with that. Plus, the gigs are mostlydone at nights, and it wouldn’t be safe for me to come homeafter midnight.
I think she was right. So for now, my bestencounter with a guitar and other musical instruments
would be when I dust the products on sale at Strung…
Dear Hunter,
… You see, Chaise was the guy who saved me the othernight. He had been following me home… making sure I wassafe each night after I go to work.
Then when my luck struck out, he was there to rescue me… like a guardian angel, God sent to make sure I wouldn’t have new nightmares toescape from.
He told me he liked me. But hey! Look up! I already told him we could only be friends. I still can’t date anybody.
I sort of told this perfect guy I would wait for him to come back. And I’m still waiting.
I still believe that oneday… I would see him again… touch him… kiss him… hear him say the words he should have said to me before he left… so I could say those words back to him.
Come back to me, Hunter. It’s still you. It will always be you.
I didn’t know it, but tears were rolling down my cheeks.
I spent months being angry at her because I thought shedidn’t wait long enough for me to return. I thought she’dgiven up on us.
I thought she didn’t believe I would keep mypromises of coming back and protect her, take care of her.From the pages I read, I could tell that life had not beenso easy on her.
But her letters had always been optimisticand she always ended them with a note saying she couldn’twait for me to come back to her.
I could only imagine the pain that she went through when after all the waiting, hoping and praying for my safety.
I came back ignoring her, to the point that made her unsurethat I remembered her at all.What an asshole I had truly been!
I promised not to hurt her. I went through a transplant because I wanted to protect her. I asked her to promise towait for me. And what did I do as soon as I came back?
I pretended she didn’t exist. I stood by and watched hersurvive every single day, instead of making things easy forher.
But even if I didn’t do anything, she made me so proud.She was so brave, so tough.
No matter how many stones
they threw at her, she dodged all of them and she always emerged triumphant.
Every day, I wanted to hug her, tell her how proud I was
of her.
But every day, it killed me to think that she was withAnderson and I was hopeless to get her back. And worse,back then, I couldn’t even blame her for being with another guy.
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