??A Howl In The Night??
?She’s mine?
?Chapter 34?
Short Nights, Endless Days ?
My eyes open quickly, and I survey my surroundings. The t-shirts from the night before are scattered across the cave, the fire only consisting of cold ashes. From what I can tell, the sky is still full of low-lying fog and heavy mist, the rain having retreated far into the horizon. I can’t really see the sun, if there even is one in this world, but only the gray darkness.
With grace that I didn’t know I had, I slowly edge to my feet and pad over to the mass of clothes to my side, careful to not jerk the rope binding my ankle. Chills take hold of my body, and I shiver as the wind brushes against my neck. My clothes still feel pretty wet, though not quite as soaked as last night. I pick up my long, flowing shirt and ring it out, getting rid of the excess water, and tie it around my waist as a makeshift skirt. There is no way I am putting those soaked pants on, especially with this stupid rope to mess things up.
Xavier shifts in his sleep, scaring me as I hear the disruption in his breathing. I beg him inwardly to not wake up. Preferably, never. I don’t want to have to face him ever again.
My hands still burn from the shame of last night, and I don’t want to have to think about that event, or even him. Everything is all too firmly embedded in my thoughts, displayed in crystal clear definition in my mind. I would do anything to get a delete button in my mind, to wipe these away from my brain forever. Anything to get rid of that burning kss.
I want to say I’ve forgotten it already. And maybe if I just want it enough…
His breathing steadies, causing me to sigh in relief. The next question that comes to my mind is how to get out of my current situation. Being tied to this guy makes me sick and I can’t deal with it any longer.
I scan the room, and my gaze lands on my makeshift pillow right next to Xavier’s head. A lightbulb goes off in my head as I remember Xavier shuffling through the knapsack last night. Surely there has to be some sort of knife or sharp object in that mystery bag of his.
But it’s so close to him, I don’t know if I can get it without waking him up. Is that a risk I really want to take?
I lean against the wall, feeling both the swirling mist and the aches in my stomach. If nothing else, I will at least get a good breakfast out of this challenge…either of the rope I’ll end up chewing off or that weird fruit in his backpack.
It is really strange how I end up losing all my newfound poise at the prospect of seeing his stupid green eyes again. Practically stumbling over to his side, I lean against the wall to avoid tripping over the rope. A sudden, intense drumming erupts in the cave, reverberating around the walls. It takes me a moment to look down and realize that the unnerving sound is coming from my own chest.
There’s no way he can’t hear this thunderous, embarrassing heartbeat. I crouch down and survey his back, watching initially for his breathing and then inevitably falling into a trance over his sparkling blue hair. I don’t understand how this idiot can have such glossy, shiny hair when it’s so dark in here that I can barely make out anything. We haven’t even bathed yet, so how his hair doesn’t look oily is just beyond me. Speaking of bathing…
I sniff my underarms, scrunching my nose in disgust as the slight odor is magnified through my overly sensitive nose. A good, long bath should be at the top of my to-do list.
I almost forget why I am even by his side, but a quick kick to the head—mentally—knocks me out of my daze. Knife. I need something sharp, and something tasty.
Turning away from him, I get on my knees to shuffle through the knapsack. The first thing I see is a wallet, accompanied by sunglasses, disgusting socks, and a dingy blanket. A lot of junk—playing cards, pens, and a clean brush. I stare at the brush for a minute, and then take it in my hand. I might use this.
A tiny fruit sits at the bottom of all the mess, and I snatch it greedily. I try to justify taking it to myself, blinded by hunger. It’s not stealing, it’s just borrowing. Without the giving back part.
Disappointingly, I don’t see anything that could possibly break these bonds. There’s some nail clippers, but they look like the baby version or something. They don’t look like they could cut any decently sized nails, much less ropes.
A muffled scream escapes me as an arm swings over my shoulders, pulling me down to the floor. My legs become tangled with the ropes and Xavier’s legs, and I feel a pulsating warmth coming from his body. My eyes are covered by his hand, and I am tugged against his chest. I am still in a state of shock at this point.
The terrifying sound of his breathing as it permeates my ear jerks me into high gear, and I push him away with all my strength. To my surprise, his head snaps back and his grip loosens, allowing me to crawl as far as I can manage away from him. I cast a glance at him, and am shocked to see his eyes slowly opening and blinking furiously in the process. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was just now waking up.
“Why’d you kick me…?” He asks while rubbing his eyes, and my fears are confirmed.
I don’t answer him, focusing on the rope. Placing my hands on it, I forcefully pull it in two directions. I can see the rope start to give underneath the pressure.
I can feel him watching me as I rip it apart while marveling at how easy it was to do so. If I had just done that earlier, I wouldn’t have had to worry about getting into his knapsack.
“Mona, what are you doing?” His voice is low, tinged with drowsiness.
I turn away while prying my half of the rope off my foot. I don’t want to talk to him. Or listen to him.
“Mona…” I can sense him coming closer, and edge against the wall. The rope splits at my ankle, falling on the floor. At my current location in the alcove, there is no escape, no place for me to hide.
“Mona.” He repeats himself, his arms suddenly on my shoulders. All the strength is sucked out of my body as he whirls me around. “Look at me.” One of his hands cups my chin and lifts it so I am forced to meet his eyes.
As I look at him, hoping to keep calm and collected, my face grows red in a betraying manifestation of the turmoil stirring inside my body. His green eyes bore into my soul, and I imagine my appearance in response resembles a deer caught in the headlights. All I can think is that I need to get out. Get out… before I lose myself.
“What’s going on?” His hand travels from my chin to my cheek, brushing down towards my neck.
The action reminds me of last night, and I jerk away with sudden ferocity. “Nothing,” I mutter, looking at the ground. “Nothing is going on.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I throw the fruit in my hand at his face before he can say anything. “Just stop.”
Instantly regretting the action after a brief recognition of the pain in Xavier’s features, I whirl around to face the outdoors and immediately start running. My stomach roars with need, but I am unwilling to turn and retrieve the fruit. If I turn back, I could lose everything in that stare of his. I could feel that same, indescribable desire that drives me insane.
Somehow I just know that something about him is different. Different from the rest of my harassers in this forlorn world, different from my past recollections and present emotions. It’s a hard thing for me to describe, quite honestly, because I can’t even begin to understand it myself. In this case, the word “different”must take on a myriad of implications and interpretations to reflect the chaos erupting within my own heart. I feel hatred, yet I feel an undeniable attraction. I want to slap his face and stroke his cheek. But for the other people I have encountered here…nothing fazes me.
I think what I am so afraid of may be the intensity of my feelings. Regardless of what they are, they exist, and they are presented in a way that is near impossible to ignore. There is strange beauty in this new revelation—that I can feel, and do so strongly—but also great terror as I witness the control it holds over my body. I almost…want to be subjected to the pretty boy’s reign of terror. It gives me shivers to imagine sleeping next to him again, to see his smooth skin and irritating, perfect face. Which is exactly why I must escape, and do it quickly.
I must keep all of this shame and emotion locked within my body, because what I truly need is strength, not weakness, in such an empty land. Weakness invites trouble, and I can’t take any more of that, especially if it comes in the form of a blue-haired werewolf.
The biggest problem here is that it just seems like I can’t escape, no matter how hard I try.
Large hands wrap around my waist, and I lose my balance, falling towards the rough ground. I am immediately enveloped in an embrace, the warmth spreading throughout my entire body. Everything happening in an instant, the only thing I truly notice is the sickly sweet aroma surrounding me, almost pungent in strength.
And then it’s over, and strangely I feel none of the impact of the collision. My personal pillow, whether he or she meant to be one or not, has saved me. But he or she also provoked me to trip anyways, so I don’t feel sorry at all.
The familiarity in my savior’s gesture reminds me of Xavier, as well as the feel of his hands on the small of my back. I look up, fully expecting to see his face, but nearly jump ten feet away in the surprise that Ray is in front of me instead.
“Wha…what…”My voice cracks and stumbles, coming out in an embarrassing stutter.
“Nice to see you again,”he comments, a smirk on the corner of his features. “So, you survived the night with the monster?”His eyes crinkle as he laughs, twisting around as he does so. Now I am on the ground, with him on his hands and knees above me.
“Barely,”I mutter, scrambling to my knees and away from Ray, who is casually standing up and grinning annoyingly at the same time. When he smiles like this, he almost looks like his brother…and it just makes me want to keep running.
“Where are you going?”he asks as he sees me backing away, trying to be conspicuous but obviously not enough to fool him. “The group’s in that direction.”He points to the west, which is definitely not where I am headed.
“Uh, I wanted to head down to the river and take a bath.”I make my excuse quickly, and his eyes narrow in response.
“There is no river around here. There’s a pond, where the group is.”He smiles, but in a slightly more menacing way that chills me to the bone. “So why don’t you follow me over there and we can grab some food. You must be hungry.”
My stomach grumbles, making me wince. Maybe it would be better to stick with the group, as long as I can somehow prevent myself from seeing him. If not anything else, I could still grab a bite to eat from wherever they’re getting it.
He reaches out and grabs my arm, his grip like iron. It is then that I hear the crackling of branches and the pounding of feet. I start to squirm in Ray’s hold, fear taking hold of my heart.
“Mona?”A frenzied call echoes throughout the forest as Xavier races into the clearing, his breathing heavy and erratic. His eyes first land on me, and then slide down to our linked arms. He then surveys Ray, probably trying to put everything together. His face clouds over, and his eyes return to meet my own. I instantly look away, blushing furiously and cursing myself for doing it. “Were you…”
“Bringing her back to camp? Yes.”Ray jumps in, supposedly saving Xavier from making false assumptions. Although I don’t know why I even care if he makes them or not. “She was looking for a bath and I was trying to help her get to the pond near here.”
“Oh…”Xavier blushes, looking downwards and then up towards me, “so that’s why…”
I guess this is better than nothing. It would be bothersome if he thought Ray and I were doing anything.
I slap myself mentally and once again…wonder why I care.
We start walking in complete silence, the awkwardness stretching between us. I don’t look at the others, staring straight ahead and trying to wipe my mind of all stupid thoughts. There are many swirling around in my head, seeking to distract me from the matter at hand.
What now? I don’t have many options, and Ray has just eliminated the stupidest one of them. Running away is just not a possibility when my companions are so much stronger than I am. And it also seems like running doesn’t bring me farther away from my problems in this world, but only draws me closer to them.
“Ray, why did you know where I was?”I ask him in a clipped tone, my feet crunching on the dead grass. I try to keep my voice unwavering, betraying none of the uncertainty within me. “If the camp is way over there, then…”
“Oh, I was just trying to find some more fruit. It seems like these plants only grow near water, though, so I found nothing. Well, except for you.”Ray walks a little faster to match my pace, and I can see the amusement in his eyes as he regards the two of us. I want to change my stiff expression, for I know he is going to think that something has happened, but somehow I just can’t make myself look indifferent. “Had an argument, huh?”He asks teasingly, just as I guessed he would.
I sneak a glance over to the side, watching Xavier’s expression in response to Ray’s words. He looks confused, his face tilted in embarrassment. I feel a little guilty for a moment, and then snap out of my contemplative stupor. It seems like I’m doing that a lot around him lately, and I don’t like it.
My footsteps quicken as I hear growing voices from the clearing. Ray dances in front of me, speeding up even more, and twists around so that he is not even looking where he is going but is staring back at the two of us. A mocking grin is on his features, annoying me to no end. “Aren’t you two going to kss and make up before we reach the others? Can’t have any hostility in the camp.”He teasingly twists his hands into the shape of a heart and makes a kssing noise with his l!ps. My hands clench in anger.
“Mona…”Xavier’s low voice murmurs cautiously beside me as a spirit spear begins to materialize in my hand. “What are you doing?”
I take deep breaths as I look downwards, surprised at the weapon I had created. The sharp edges slowly dissipate into fine particles, blown away by the wisps of the wind as I concentrate on controlling my anger.
That’s really weird. Usually my spear doesn’t appear unless I’m at least focused on it. I wonder if the decreasing lack of control I am having over my fury has anything to do with it.
When I look up, eyes wide, I see Ray’s own eyes locked onto my clenched palm with an unfamiliar expression on his face. I can’t quite decipher his emotions from that one expression, and I usually pride myself on my ability to do so.
“Are you okay, Mona?”Xavier asks me gently, his hand touching my arm. He has gotten so much closer over the last few seconds, sending my brain into an emotional overload.
“I’m fine. Sorry. I don’t know what came over me,”I say quietly, causing him to step back at the iron laced within my response. I am determined to treat him normally, like any other person. I will not trifle with silly emotions I am not destined to feel.
I look up—my mistake—to see a pair of eyes, glittering with golden flecks within a green meadow that continues endlessly throughout the horizon. They are as dark as the night, yet shine with the brightness of a perfectly cut jewel. They push you away, almost forbidding in their abnormality, yet somehow you get tugged towards them anyways, pulled in by the mysteries of their vast depths.
I lose the lucidity of free thought for a few seconds, and then furiously snap my face away. My cheeks burning in embarrassment, I try to shut out all noises, all of Ray’s stupid reactions, and most importantly, Xavier.
I walk through the bushes quickly to reach the clearing, leaving the rest behind, and at the center is a decently sized pond. I almost scream as a figure starts to get out of the pond, heading for his clothes on the rock.
I feel people around me as I instantly twist around and put my hands over my head. “What’s wrong, Mona?”Ray whispers close to my ear, completely back to normal.
“M-m-man…”I stammer. “N-naked…”My eyes still stay tightly shut.
“Oh.”Ray sounds nonchalant. “Haven’t you ever seen a naked man before?”
“Ray… shut up,”I whine, “tell me when he has clothes on.”There is something about this awareness that shouldn’t faze me, but it does anyways. I don’t get why I’m so adverse to things that are so silly and reflect my innocence.
“Yi!”He shouts, “Put your clothes on!”There is silence for a moment, and then I feel a rough tapping on my head. “He’s done, princess.”
“Don’t call me princess.”I punch him in the arm after raising my head, scowling at the smirk on his face. He grabs my arm, bringing it through his own with such force that I can hardly resist.
“Let me escort you, princess,”He says, unperturbed. His eyes are scanning the area, but then return to mine as quickly as they left. “Mona, I’m teasing.”Ray’s tone seems slightly more apologetic now, though still twisted with laughter. “Don’t be offended.”
I want to smack him so badly on his pompous, arrogant face.
We start walking towards the pond, I furiously tugging on my captured hand, he grinning smugly as if the expression has been plastered onto his features. He keeps my hand securely locked within his hold, and I am unable to do anything against him. I look behind me, and Xavier is meandering a few paces behind me. He is looking down, but with my glance his gaze travels upwards to meet mine again. A strange panic floods over me and I quickly turn to face Ray. A strange, incomprehensible look was on Xavier’s face, and for some reason the expression made me feel undeniably guilty.
“Sorry, Mona. I wasn’t thinking,”Yi calls, now wearing torn and dirty pants. He uses his t-shirt to dry off his body. I try not to look at his glistening skin.
“No problem,”I mumble, feeling embarrassed. I don’t even know where to look anymore, and my eyes roam across the clearing. A small area catches my eye, and I see the tiny fruits peppered among several bushes near the water. “Is that where you guys got the fruit?”I ask, distracted by the prospect of getting food.
“Yeah, those are the only living bushes we have found around here,”Yi says contemplatively, “seems like they only grow around water sources.”
“Yeah, Ray said something about that. I wonder if these are plants that are just drawn to water, or if there is any other reason for their location.”I walk over to the plant, surveying the roots and the stems.
“Even though this is a forest, this is really the only part we’ve seen so far that truly seems living,”Ray comments, his feet clomping on the gray grass as he comes over. “Isn’t it weird how everything here just looks so gray, as if we just stepped in a picture book? Even these stems and leaves on the plant has a grayish tinge to it.”
I have to admit, Ray is right. The veins on the leaves are a deep gray, as if the very essence of this world is contained within them. Fingering the leaves with my hand, I wince as a sharp edge slices into my skin. “What the crap?”I mutter as bright red pulsates from my brand new injury on my thumb. It throbs, leading me to believe that this is not the everyday paper cut.
“Mona,”a deep, seemingly sensuous voice in my delirium speaks. “Let me see that.”Large hands envelop my own, and soon both are stained with blood. The red drops from both of our hands onto the plant, and it tinges the leaves with somehow depressing accuracy. From where I am squatting, the leaf is almost bleeding like I am, a dark green in the roots but crimson in the edges.
My cheeks match my fingers again as Xavier wraps a small rag around my thumb. “Be more careful,”he says softly, with a worried tone. “That cut is super deep. In fact, I’m surprised the plant was able to inflict that much damage.”His hands leave mine to touch the leaf, dancing across the same edges.
I say nothing in response, standing up quickly while ignoring the throbbing in both my heart and my thumb. “W-where’s the others?”I quickly address Ray and Yi, who are both smirking.
“Danae is just beyond the clearing, exploring for anything of interest with Griffin. And besides her…this is it.”Ray motions to the four of us. “Well, that we know of.”
“Last time I checked, you were missing as well,”I comment wryly. “What changed?”
“I was found, obviously.”
I glare at him, wondering how one person could possibly get on my nerves to such an extent. I decide not to comment on that statement for fear of an imminent explosion on my part. “So tell me about what happened to you right until you were found by the group.”
“Well, quite simply, I woke up in this forest all alone, wandered around, and bumped into Xavier while he was frantically running around trying to find you. It was quite hilarious actually.”Ray boisterously strikes a grief-stricken pose. “He literally looked like this, and his cheeks were a beautiful cherry red. Isn’t that right, Xavier?”
“Shut up,”Xavier mutters, glaring at the instigator with the same annoyance I had just displayed seconds earlier. However, I felt a flicker of interest in Ray’s remark, something I probably shouldn’t feel under the circumstances.
He catches the glimmer in my eye and smiles wickedly. “Want some of the scoop on your fellow lovebird?”He winks, and for a second his face looks almost exactly like Xavier’s. My heart starts unintentionally pounding, and I forget to scold him for making Xavier and I seem like a couple.
“Hello lovely!”A sweet, youthful voice calls out as Danae enters the clearing, Griffin in tow. She is nearly dragging him for some reason, and is otherwise empty handed. “Hello, everyone else.”
“What did you find?”Yi asks lightly, bounding over to her. He is definitely the most excited of the bunch, with Xavier nonchalant and Ray disturbed over the fact that she didn’t call him a “lovely”.
“Nothing much. Just the same forest, extending on for ages.”She shrugs, shoving some sticks together with her foot. “Who knows how far it could stretch.”
Griffin looks up to catch my eye. At the sight of me, his tight facial expression immediately relaxes and he smiles. Caught off guard, his infectious smile brings a smile of my own to my features.
“Well buddy,”he says brightly, stepping forward taking my hand into his own. “So glad to see you.”
“Well buddy?”I ask, sensing a burning gaze drilling into my back. Subconsciously I shiver.
“You know…because we were in the well together. Get it?”He laughs. I stare at him pointedly. “Yeah, it’s a bad name,”Griffin says bashfully after he sees my expression, “but I like it.”
“I don’t want to talk about wells ever again,”I groan, slipping my hand out of his. “But I appreciate the sentiment, whatever it is.”
Danae smiles at our exchange, and my gaze turns to her. “So it’s morning, huh?”I ask, noting her youthful appearance. She smiles.
“Most likely.”Danae nods, and then wrinkles her nose. “Mona, you need a bath. No offense.”
“I’ve been dying to have one all morning,”I mumble, casting a glance at Ray, who’s snickering.
“Well, let’s not prevent you from doing so any longer. Guys, leave.”
Murmured groans echo from the group. Backing away, Yi was the first to leave, and the rest trailed behind. Xavier takes up the back, eyeing the others suspiciously. I watch until their bodies fade into the trees. “That was too easy,”I say, narrowing my eyes.
“I’ll go keep them in check,”Danae replies comfortingly, “and make sure they don’t sneak over here. For right now, just focus on yourself. You’ve had a hard time so far, lovely.”My nose crinkles at the use of such familiarity, but in some way it is almost relaxing to my ears. Something about the phoenae makes me feel so welcome…and safe.
“Okay. I won’t be long.”I smile, and she disappears into the trees. Once again, I am completely alone.
This could be my chance. This group is so gullible, and it would be so easy.
Even as I think this, my mind flashes back to Ray’s arms as he grabbed me, and the well as I fell inside. Seems like running away brings me nothing but trouble. And given that these fruits are the only nourishment we have seen so far, I could very well starve without the group’s help.
Quickly giving up on that possibility, I begin to remove the t-shirt around my waist. I nearly rip it in the process, but eventually it’s strewn across the grass along with my other t-shirt. Feeling a sense of exhilaration, I lower myself into the pond, which is a strange crystal blue color that does not fit at all with its surroundings. The water caresses my skin, warmth spreading through my body and disarming me of all my defenses. I lean my head against the ground while soaking in the soothing waters.
As I rest, I reflect on our time here. I remember that in the other world the pack consisted of Ray, Xavier, Yi, and two others. What were their names…?
Wes. Right. And Drake…. no, it’s Jake. I envision the two, wondering where they could possibly be. It’s hard to picture them in my head, but I can barely make out Wes’s golden locks and Jake’s sparkling buzz cut. A pain strikes my heart, and alarm flickers across my features as I realize that I miss them.
It really has been a whirlwind, a crazy journey from when I almost died in the forest until I almost died in a forest yet again. I lost track of time, but I am sure that it hasn’t been too long since that time—a month, maybe two—and seemingly shorter considering that sheer amount of events that occurred during the time period.
I never considered myself an adventurer or even an interesting person, yet I have been lucky, or unlucky depending on how you look at it, enough to land in a ton of situations that have been eye-opening in a number of different ways. And it all started with Xavier, when he saved me from that monstrous hail. A certain haziness fills a gaping hole in my memory as I try to remember the events directly after that, such as how he introduced himself, how he came to my school. However, I somehow know it happened, and could remember certain scenes, such as when he was in my bedroom at the orphanage, and when he brought me steak in the lunchroom. I reminisce in the swirling memories, and a slight smile comes to my lips before I know it. As if suddenly realizing the depths of my emotions, I try to banish the feelings from my mind, yet they only grow stronger in response. It disconcerts me that there are things I can’t remember, that things are foggy in my mind to such an extent.
I wonder if there isn’t any truth to the ramblings that the rest of my group had uttered when we first arrived. Maybe I’m the crazy one that’s causing all the trouble. Maybe these people mean more to me than I realize.
My head snaps up as I suddenly sense a presence around me. I can also hear shouting in the distance, probably Danae and Ray’s voices. “W-who’s there?” I ask warily, trying to cover myself in the frustratingly clear water.
“I’m… not looking,” A low murmur reaches my ears, “I promise.”
I twist in my position to see Xavier inching towards me, covering his eyes with the back of his hand. I try to feel irritation, but only curiosity enters my mind. I don’t feel nearly as threatened as I should be.
“I just wanted to drop off your extra clothes that you left in the cave,” he says, lowering the clothes onto the ground. “I thought you might want them. They are dry now.”
His thoughtfulness surprises me in more ways than one. After only a few seconds, I sense nothing at all. He just… left.
I don’t know if I was expecting anything, but something about the encounter just left me feeling a bit empty. After this series of continuously exciting events, this bath is turning out to be a bit anti-climatic.
I probably should get out, so I don’t make them wait too long. It’s been a few minutes, and I feel thoroughly cleaned, both in body and in soul. I know its a cliche, but it’s been a long time since I have felt so relaxed.
Putting my hands on the ground, I start to push myself out of the water. Right before I get out, I hear a sharp intake of breath, and I fall back into the pond. Suddenly shivering, I watch with alarm as Xavier jumps out of the trees, heading for some unknown location. He seems to circle some random area near the edge of the clearing, as if eyeing his prey, and pounces.
A squeal erupts as Xavier grasps at air, almost as if locking it into an embrace. “Xavier, that hurts!” The air gasps. I think I’m about to have a heart attack.
“You can stop now,” Xavier growls, now putting the air into a headlock. “And no excuses.”
Suddenly a man starts to materialize, a wide grin on his face. As his face appears, I realize that the intruder is Yi. My eyes narrow into slits. “It was a joke,” Yi says laughingly, “I was just passing by.”
Xavier says nothing, glaring at him with seemingly laser vision. “Okay,” Yi continues, maybe a bad joke.”
“Look, Yi. We need to learn to trust each other, to feel safe with each other, and even though you think it’s not a big deal, in this you are tearing down what everyone has worked to build up.” Xavier grabs him and pulls him into the bushes. “Sorry, Mona!” He calls on his way out, never once looking at me.
I stare after him for who-knows-how-long, while entertaining conflicting thoughts about him and the rest of the world, and then sink into the the sparkling depths of the warm waters with exhaustion.
* * *
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