?A Wish?
Chapter 23
Its been three weeks since i had a splint on my left hand and fingers, and my broken hand was healing faster, but it will completely heal next week. The boys weren’t kidding when they said that they are going to gang up on Zayn and beat him up. They really beat him up badly. He didn’t come to school for a week cause he was at the hospital with two broken ribs, a broken arm and leg, and his fingers and hands were both in a cast. When he came back to school, i almost couldn’t recognize him cause his face were mixed colours of purple, blue and red. What really got me stunned was when Xavier told me that him, Damon and Alex openly beat up Zayn at the park, late in the evening. They didn’t wear masks to covers their face. I was a bit confused when Alex told me that Zayn didn’t even fight back.
“Um, hey Brielle.” I turned around to see, Connor awkwardly standing beside the lockers, fidgeting with his fingers.
“Oh, hey Connor, what’s up?'”.
“Nothing much, hey, may i talk to you?”
“Well, we are actually talking right now.” I said, laughing.
Connor smiled stiffly and leaned against the lockers as he inhaled and exhaled heavily, his green eyes at narrowing me. “Perhaps we can talk somewhere more private.”
I nodded. “Okay, why dont we go to the exam hall? My English exam starts twenty minutes from now.”
“Alright.” Connor unattached his body from the lockers and we both walked over to the exam hall.
Connor and i slid in the chairs beside each other and Connor faced me, a nervous expression on his face.
“Its about Zayn.” He blurted out.
“What about him?” My voice came out cold, venom dripping down in my tone.
Connor sighed, sadness was swirling in his eyes. “All the things Zayn did to you was horrible, but please dont fully hate him with all your heart.”
“Connor, Zayn beat me up and kissed me against my will.” I used my right hand to clench onto the desk so tight, my knuckles turned pale white.
“I know but he wasn’t himself and he didn’t mean to hurt you.” Connor said, his voice going soft into a whisper. “Zayn has personality disorder.”
“W-what?” I was shocked. I know what personality disorder means, it is the inflexible change of behaviour. Most people with personality disorder usually tend to have different change of personality. Some can act really violent and aggressive. They tend to have a lot of ascendancy to the point that their behaviour or personality completely change.
Connor closed his eyes and opened them, resting his elbows on his laps as he stares at the wall by his left side, not once making eye contact with me. “Its true, he has personality disorder, he didn’t mean to do all that.”
“So?” I scoffed, glaring at Connor who refused to meet my eyes. “Why did he take it out on me? Why not somebody else? Its not that i want him to take it out on someone else, but i just dont get why Zayn did all that to me, when i’ve never done anything to him. Connor with all due respect, you’re my friend, but that doesn’t mean you can just come here and tell me to forgive the guy who had made school a living nightmare for me.”
Connor stared at me, his expression blank. “I’m not saying you should fully forgive Zayn, but please don’t hate him because it wasn’t his fault.”
“Then whose fault is that? My fault?” I asked sardonically.
Connor inhaled sharply, releasing his breath out with a huff. “Your dad, Liam Johnson.”
“First of all Connor, Liam is my stepdad.” I chastised. “And how is Liam related to Zayn’s psychological issue?”
Connor’s eyes darkened and he clenched his jaw, his fist balling up. “Liam was Zayn’s mum highschool boyfriend. They were both in their senior year when they had started dating and were both known as the best couple in the school. Even when they got to college, they were both still dating. Zayn’s mum, Sarah, noticed how controlling her boyfriend became, how he wont let her go to college parties and how he always want to know where she is every 24/7. It was the last straw for Sarah when Liam beat up up her best friend, only because she hugged him. So she broke up with him. Liam didn’t take the break up so well. He started disturbing Sarah and will spam all her social media account with messages. She blocked him but he didn’t give up and started to visit to her apartment everyday. She got a restraining order when Liam didn’t leave her alone, and he stopped visiting her after that. She moved on with her life two years later and got married to Daniel Parker, a man she met in one of her job interviews. Sarah had forgotten about Liam, thinking that he must have already moved on. But no. When Zayn was seven, Liam unexpectedly showed up in their house when Zayn’s father was out of the city for a business trip. Liam dragged Sarah and Zayn to the basement and locked it. He raped and tortured Sarah.”
Connor released a shaky breath. “Liam made Zayn watch as he tortured and harassed his mum, and Zayn couldn’t do anything, he was tied up to a chair as he watched Liam torture his mum. He begged and cried but Liam didn’t listen.”
Zayn became numb when his mother was traumatised about what happened, she committed suicide by hanging herself in the basement. He changed after his mum’s death, he became cold-hearted. He told his Dad about what Liam did to his mum but his dad didn’t believe him cause he thought that Zayn was just traumatised because of the death of his mum.
“How did you and Zayn meet, were you friends from before?” I asked.
Connor smiled, but it was a sad smile. “We met at a ball, i was four and Zayn was five. It was at one of a ball’s that Zayn father was hosting. He and my Dad were business partners so i was introduced to Zayn. I wasn’t really the social type then and i was really shy about meeting new faces. Zayn was a really happy and enthusiastic boy then. He didn’t leave me alone even when all i did was just ignore and snob him. I later started warming up to him. We were both glued to the hip, Zayn was like an older brother and a best friend to me. He was really protective of me in school and will always fight anyone who dares to bully me. I never once left his side, even after his mum’s death. He was cold towards me and will insult me but i didn’t once leave his side. Zayn later told me what was the cause of his mum’s death. I was twelve then and he was thirteen.”
“Are you guys still best of friends?” I asked quietly, trying to process everything Connor just told me.
A tear slipped from Connor’s eyes and he wiped it. “No, i stopped being friends with him when he started bullying you. I told him to stop it but he didn’t listen to me. We fought. That was the first time i ever hit Zayn. When i shoved him to the ground and wanted to walk away, his words were.
‘You’re leaving me too? Are you really going to walk away because of one girl? Connor Caden Mitchell if you walk out of that door, then you can forget we were ever best friends. Walk out of that door, and eighteen years of our friendship is gone.’
“It was hard to do but i walked out and cried after that.”
“You gave up your friendship for me?” I asked in disbelief. I cant believe he did that. Connor gave up his eighteen years of being best friends with Zayn for me.
“I couldn’t stand the fact that he was bullying you, i should have done something to stop him but i was too much of a coward to do that.”
“You’re not a coward Connor.” I told him in a firm tone. “Heck, nobody will ever just give up their best friend just because they’ve done something wrong.”
“Is his personality disorder really serious?” I asked him when he didn’t say anything for some seconds.
“It only happens whenever he’s really angry, but it should have gone since Liam is in jail.”
“Huh?” I asked, confused. How does he knows that Liam is in jail.
“Zayn heard that Liam was in jail so he was really happy, and i thought maybe his disorder will go away, but it didn’t. Anyway, my brother told me that Zayn has gone to a rehabilitation centre, he went yesterday.”
“Please Brielle, just forgive Zayn, he really didn’t mean to hit you.” Connor pleaded.
“What Zayn went through was touching, but i can’t forgive him Connor. If Xavier had not interfered when Zayn tried to humiliate me at the cafeteria, will he stop? Will he stop bullying me?” Connor didn’t say anything so i continued. “No, he will continue to torment me so i dont think i can forgive him.”
“Brielle, why are you being so difficult!” Connor snapped, his tone mixed with anger and frustration.
“Please go away Connor.” I said quietly, my voice cracking as i felt my vision blur with unshed tears that were threatening to fall.
Connor stood up and stretched out his hand to touch my shoulder but i quickly jerked away from him. Hurt flashed in his eyes but he masked it up with an intellect expression and sighed before walking towards the door.
“Connor, wait.” I called causing him to halt mid-way to the door and he turned around to face me.
“Why did Zayn bullied me before?”
Connor’s eyes went downcast to the floor, his fingers curling together. “He couldn’t contain his anger when he saw Liam register you in this school. He bullied you because he thought you were the perfect bait to let out all his anger and frustration on. The fact that you were Liam’s stepdaughter made Zayn more angry so he hurt you since he couldn’t hurt Liam.”
I laughed. I had many things i want to say but i choose to laugh instead. I tilted my head to stare up at Connor who’s brows were creased together in confusion. It was really hard to fight back the tears that threatened to stream down from my eyes, but i still controlled it as i tried to fight over the urge to just walk up to Connor and give him a hard slap across the face.
“You know.” I drummed my fingers on the desk, feeling it rough surface graze my fingers. “If Zayn knew what was going on in Liam’s house, he wouldn’t have the guts to even lay a finger on me.”
“What are you talking about Brielle?” Connor asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Connor, tell Zayn, if you ever see him.” My voice was hoarse. “Tell Zayn that i was physically and emotionally abused by Liam for nine years, that is why he is in jail. Liam took $1000 from one of his so called friends so that the man could sleep with me. Hadn’t been Xavier didn’t show up on time, i would have my virginity stolen by a forty-three year old pedophile.”
Connor’s wyes widened, his lips parted. The pure shock in his eyes were evident. “Brielle, i didn’t know that you were being a-”
“Just go Connor, please.” I interrupted, my voice cracking. He released out a frustrated sigh and i heard his stomping footsteps walk out of the exam hall as the door was slammed shut. I wiped the tears that streamed down my cheeks, using my sleeve when students started entering the hall. The Examiner came five minutes cane five minutes late and he quickly passed out our papers to us.
~*~*~
“Hey bestie, are you alright? You look a bit gloomy today.” Ava said, concern and worry dripping in her gentle voice.
I looked up at the brown coloured ceiling and closed my eyes before i opened them and glanced down at my cup of mocha coffee, stirring the silver spoon in it and bringing the spoon up to my mouth. The sweet creamy taste of the coffee in my tongue was satisfying to my constant cravings for mocha coffee.
I peeked at Ava, remembering that she asked me a question. Keeping my face blank, with no single expression on my face, i said. “I’m fine Ava, just a bit tired.”
Ava rolled her eyes and fixed me with a glare. “Stop lying to me Brielle, that blank face wont ever work on me.”
“And how do you know that am lying?”
“One, you love taking your mocha coffee hot and two, you dont usually love stirring or drinking it with a spoon.”
I furrowed my brows and glanced down at my coffee, using the back of my fingers to touch the side surface of the cup so that i’ll be able to feel the temperature. “Its warm.” I sighed. Its hard to lie to Xavier and Ava, they both know me too well, better than Damon and Alex.
“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Before i could shake my head and say that am fine, Ava added. “You better tell me why you are down or else, i’ll drag you by your ear to the mansion and tell the boys.”
I gulped. “You’re not really going to do that, right?”
Ava lips curled up. “I wont do it unless you tell me the truth.”
“Fine.” I stopped stirring the coffee and pushed it a bit far from me cause it doesn’t seem appealing again like before. I took in a deep breath and just blurted out everything to Ava, how Conner talked to me about Zayn and his psychological issues
Ava was just staring at her cup, eyebrows furrowed when i told her everything that Connor said to me in the exam hall.
“Well, that’s just messed up.” Ava finally said, running her tongue down to her bottom lip.
“Tell me about it.” I slumped against the chair, puffing out a breath. “What do you think i should do? Do you think that i should just forgive Zayn? Besides, it isn’t completely his fault in this whole situation.
Ava raised her hand up and gave me a really painful smack on my head. I winced and glared at her, rubbing the spot she hit. “What was that for, Ava?” I whined.
“Oh its nothing.” Ava said, casually shrugging her shoulders. “I was trying to see if i cant hit some sense inside that brain of yours. Like are you seriously kidding me Brielle? Zayn bullied you and weeks ago you got cornered and was beaten up by him. So what if he has personality disorder? It still doesn’t justify about the way he treated you. I still feel bad about what happened to his mum and how he was forced to watch a lunatic harass his mum, but he shouldn’t have taken out all his anger on you, just because he thought it will hurt Liam more.”
“But Zayn didn’t know that i was being abused by Liam.” I defended, surprising myself and Ava.
Ava shook her head and took a sip out of her coffee before she placed the cup back on the table. “Dont defend him Brielle, its up to you though.”
“Up to me?”
“Yeah, its up to you if you wanna forgive Zayn or not, but let me just tell you that if you befriend Zayn, then you really are the most ignoramus girl on earth.”
“Hey.” I playfully hit her shoulder. “I’m not going to forgive Zayn like that and just befriend him.”
“Anyway, let’s forget about this whole Zayn disorder thing and talk about your birthday!” She said brightly. “Its tomorrow, isn’t it?”
I shook my head. “Nope, Xavier birthday is tomorrow, mine us two days after his birthday.”
“Then why are you still sitting here?” Ava demanded, her voice rising.
I stared at her, confused. “Um drinking coffee?”
Once again, Ava smacked my head. “You’re suppose to be out there in the mall, searching for a birthday gift to give your boyfriend.”
I snorted. “I already did that Ava.” Neither Xavier or Ava, Damon and Alex knows. But secretly, i’ve been saving enough money to buy Xavier a birthday gift. I cant tell Xavier this, but am seriously tired of him spending his money on me and also giving me money. Living in the mansion is already a big thing, so him spending money on me is a big no, no. That is why i have been working in starbucks as a waitress. Though it was hard convincing the manager cause he thought i was too young to be working. But after a lot of arguments, he finally agreed to let me work. I sometimes help in preparing some desserts that is not cake, like cream puffs. The customers love my cream puffs and because of that Mr Jeremy, the manager, pays me $150 per week.
“Really? Let me see it!” I chuckled at Ava enthusiasm.
“Its at home and i cant allow you to see it today, so you’ll just have to wait till i give it to Xavier.”
“You’re no fun.” She pouted, crossing her arms.
~*~*~
“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” I gulped, trying to look at anywhere but him. If i stare at those beautiful grey eyes, i dont think i’ll be able to look away. When i got home i tried to avoid Xavier and act casual around him when he talked to me, but maybe it was really obvious that i was trying to avoid him. And him being the smart guy he is, figured out that something was off about me. I dislike that look in his eyes, the intense stare that makes you wanna blurt out your whole secret.
“N-no, n-nothing is wrong.” Why did i have to stutter? That will only make Xavier more suspicious.
“You know that you can tell me anything.” Xavier crossed his arms and stepped closer to me. “I’m your boyfriend and i should know what happens if i see that my girlfriend is tensed about something.”
“Hey, why dont we take a beautiful stroll at the park and stare at the wonderful sky and clouds God created.” I quickly stood up from the chair and gave Xavier a big fake smile.
He rolled his eyes. “I’ve already seen God’s creation thousands of times, Brielle, and stop trying to change the subject.” I could hear a hint of frustration in his tone.
“When you got home, you didn’t talk to me and you ran away when you saw me in the hall. And finally when i called you to come down and eat, you cant even look me in the eye while talking.”
“None of that is t-true.”
“Dammit! Brielle. You’re stuttering and avoiding eye contact with me. Tell me, what’s bothering you?”
I swallowed a fit full of saliva, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. “There is nothing bothering me Xavier, am just tired.” Even though i didn’t stutter this time around, i still refused to meet his eyes.
“Then look right into my eyes and tell me that nothing is wrong.” He was now right in front of me, his warm breath tickling my forehead. Xavier can really be intimidating if he wants to but inside he’s a big softie.
“Look at me Brielle.” Xavier grunted, his tone laced with frustration.
Trying to avoid his smouldering gaze, i pretended to stare at something behind Xavier and masked an expression of horror on my face.
“Oh my God, Xavier! Behind you!” Xavier furrowed his eyebrows and turned around. Without thinking, i grabbed the jug of orange juice from the table and emptied the whole liquid on Xavier before i quickly placed it on the table and ran up to my room. I locked the door and managed to use my right hand and dragged one of my desk that is really heavy to block the door. The angry and determined stomping of footsteps from downstairs made me gulp.
“Brielle i swear to God, if you dont open this door right now, am going to break it down.” I pursed my lips, trying to remain quiet so he’ll think that am not here.
“The silent treatment, huh?” Xavier’s tone was filled with a bit of amusement and anger. “Brielle am serious, stop hiding inside there and just tell me what is bothering you. Did i do something that made you mad? What did i do wrong? Please just talk to me love.” I felt guilty cause his voice sounded so tired and desperate.
Again, i remained silent. Xavier released an exasperated sigh and i heard his stomping footsteps retreat away from my door. I walked over to my bed and plopped down on the soft matrass, the sheets getting a little squeezed cause of the way i lay on it.
I sighed, thinking about mine and Xavier’s earlier conversation. I dont want him to be angry but am scared of what Xavier reaction will be if i tell him about what Connor said to me in the exam hall. I already thought about it and have decided to just forgive Zayn then move on with my life. If Ava will be angry when she finds out that i want to forgive Zayn, then how will my boyfriend react?
I don’t know how long i just laid in my bed while thinking, but i fell asleep and later woke up to someone knocking loudly on my door.
“Who is it?” My voice was a bit hoarse from just waking up.
“Its me Damon, open the door.” I got down from the bed and lazily walked towards the door, using right hand to drag the desk back to where it was, before i opened the door.
“What do you want?” I asked tiredly, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe as i stared up at Damon.
“Its time for dinner.” Damon announced, smiling brightly at me.
I forced a smile but am pretty sure it came out as a grimace. “I’m not hungry Damon.” That’s a lie. I’m really famished but i dont think i can sit down in a room with Xavier. When all he’s going to do is just give me one of his intimidating stares.
Damon smile vanished and he scowled. “Xavier told me you didn’t eat much today, so how on earth can you tell me that you’re not hungry.”
“Well, i lost my appetite to eat.” I lied again, suddenly finding the art frame behind Damon more entertaining to the eyes.
I blushed beetroot when my stomach decided to give me out by rumbling very loud.
Damon chuckled, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Your stomach doesn’t agree with you, now cmon, let’s get your tummy filled up.” He patted my stomach and motioned for me to follow him.
I hugged my shoulders, looking down at the tiled floor. “But am not hungry.”
“Brielle if you dont follow me downstairs.” Damon warned. “i wont hesitate to throw you over my shoulder.”
“But it will hurt my stomach and rib.” I reasoned, trying to use my rib as an escape root.
Damon snorted. “Your rib is healed Brielle and dont think you can outrun me, cause i can simply just carry you downstairs to the dining room. Now cmon, lets go.”
“No.” I said stubbornly, taking a step backward to my room.
Damon glared at me and in a swift motion, he scooped me up in his arms causing me to yelp in surprise. Damon carefully adjusted me in his arms and started walking down the hall.
“Let me down Damon, i said that am not hungry!” I squirmed, kicking my legs but he only tightened his grip on me.
“As your brother, am worried about your health and you not eating is apart of it.”
I sighed and glared at his arms. “But you’re only suppose to protect me and annoy me.”
“That’s not all Brielle.” Damon placed a kiss on the top of my head. “I will also be worried if i notice that you are not yourself, now please tell me what’s wrong with you?”
Before i could say anything, he added. “And don’t lie to me cause Xavier told me about what transpired between you two.”
“Snitch.” I mumbled. “Like i said, its nothing.”
Damon sighed. “Okay Brielle, dont tell me but please talk to Xavier. I’ve never seen him look so stressed out. He thinks that he has done something to make you mad and that’s why you’re avoiding him. One thing Xavier hates is when he’s being avoided.”
“He’s going to lose it if i tell him.” I said quietly. Damon just kept quiet and he descended down the stairs, walking over to the dining room where Xavier and Alex are both seated on the chairs.
As Damon set me down, i stared, not at Xavier but at the mouthwatering food. The grilled chicken was calling out to me and i so much wanted to dip the well cooked sweet potatoes inside the tomato sauce. I dashed to the table and slid down on the chair opposite Xavier, grabbing a steak of chicken and placing it on the white plate, using a knife and fork to cut it before i shoved it in my mouth.
“Oh my gosh, this taste so heavenly.” I moaned, taking another bite out of the chicken. Damon and Alex snickered and i could see a small smile playing in Xavier lips. Right after my dramatic chicken moment, it was quiet, all that could be heard were clashing of spoons, forks and knives as we ate. I felt the thick tension in the air even though i was filling my mouth with food.
“Alright, that’s enough.” Alex slammed his fork on his plate, glaring at me and Xavier. “Brielle, Xavier, stop acting like little kids and fix whatever problem you both have.”
Xavier clenched his jaw. “There is nothing wrong with me Alex, but my girlfriend here is bothered about something which she refuse to talk to me about.”
Damon stood up and picked up his plate and juice, staring down at Alex. “Lets go to the movie room Alex and give this two some privacy so that they’ll sort out the fight between them.”
“Good idea.” Alex also gathered up his plate and juice. In a blink of an eye, they were already at the stairs, leaving me and Xavier alone.
“So.” I started, after five minutes of a thick silence that was in the air. “Where you the one who made the food?”
Xavier stared at me blankly. “No.” Was his blunt reply.
“Okay, but you made the dessert, right?” Why am i making the conversation more annoying and awkward.
“Yes.” He scowled. I nodded and reached out to take a slice of strawberry cheesecake. I’m not surprised that It tastes so sweet and creamy. After all, my boyfriend is an amazing baker.
“Wonderful evening we’re having.” I blurted out and clasped my hand over my mouth, mentally slapping myself at how stupid i am.
“Stop it Brielle, its not a wonderful evening at all.” Xavier said in an angry tone, standing up from his chair, staring at me with his grey orbs dilating. “Stop beating around the bush and just talk to me, please.”
I placed the plate back on the table and awkwardly stood up from the chair. “Can we talk outside?”
“Okay.” Xavier didn’t wait for me and he started to walk towards the front door. I trailed after him and went outside. It was dark and the moonlight that shone brightly made the late evening look so peaceful. Xavier leaned against the wall, his legs and arms crossed over. The light breeze that passed swiftly made his hair to flutter up in a messy but cute way. I really want to hug Xavier right now and feel the comforting warmth that radiates of his body but he would think that i want to avoid the topic again.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I was snapped back into reality by Xavier’s voice. I bit my lip and proceeded to tell Xavier everything, avoiding his eyes. There was a thick and heavy silence when i was done talking. I stole a brief glance at Xavier to see his jaw tightly clenched and his fist were balled up.
Xavier closed his eyes and sighed, his tensed muscles relaxing as he closed the distance between us. “Zayn shouldn’t have experienced that a little boy, but what do you plan on doing?”
“I want to forgive him.” I blurted out, averting my eyes from his face cause i was scared to see his reaction.
“Look at me Brielle.” Xavier voice was soft and smooth. “I’m not going to yell at you, but please just look at me. I need to see those pretty blue eyes.” My eyes drifted forward to meet his warm gaze.
“Is that why you were avoiding me?” Xavier asked.
“I was scared to see how you will react.” I mumbled.
Xavier thinned his lips and sighed. “I am shocked and a little angry that you want to forgive Zayn but its your choice and am not going to stop you if that’s what you want to do.”
“I just want to move on with my life and be free. I’ve already set myself free from Liam but now i need to also free myself from Zayn, me forgiving him is the only way. I’ve forgiven Liam and Zayn but i can never forget about what they did to me before. Hopefully, Zayn will recover from his psychological problems and become a new person.”
Xavier smiled and brought his hand down to my cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb. “What did i ever do to deserve such a lovely girlfriend.” His arms encircled around me and he kissed my forehead.
“I love you Brielle.” I stiffened at his words, my heart racing a thousand beats faster and my eyes widening. Am i dreaming? Did Xavier just say the L word?
“I love you so much and i dont want to ever lose you.”
I wrapped my arms around Xavier torso, my eyes brimming with tears. “I love you too Xavier.”
Xavier pulled back from the hug and gave me a genuine smile before he leaned forward, and pressed his lips on mine.
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