BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 31 – 40
EPISODE 34
BY AUTHORESS ZION
(Jackson)
I jog up the stairs to my apartment, happier than I’ve been in awhile.
She agreed.
She agreed to stay away from the club and she didn’t question me about it.
I still have a shot at not royally this up.
I open the door and head for the living room where everyone else is still congregating.
I jerk back when I hear what sounds like Alyssa’s voice coming through the surround sound speakers.
My smile plummets when I walk in the room and realize that Alyssa’s sx tape is being broadcast on the big screen television while Lou-Lou’s standing there with a smirk on her face, holding the remote control.
“Jackson, so glad you came back. We were just getting to the good part.”
I lunge at her.
Tyrone and Ricardo try pulling me back, but I’m out for her bIood. I have to dig deep and talk myself down from the ledge so I don’t actually attack her.
“I swear, man, we had no idea she was gonna play that sht. We didn’t see much. I didn’t even realize what the h’ll it was at first,” Tyrone yells, holding me back.
“Yeah. What the fk is your deal, Lou-Lou?” Ricardo barks.
Alyssa’s voice zaps me. “What do you want?”
Then I hear a guy’s voice. “Strlp for me. Show me those nice ti tt ies of yours.”
Tyrone and Ricardo lose their grip on me and I lunge forward and get in her face. “Shut it the fk off now, or so help me God. I will tear your he ad right off your sk ank infested body,” I shout so loud the windows shake.
Lou-Lou’s trembling at this point but I literally don’t give a fk. With shaky hands, she presses the pause button.
I want to remind the stupid bch I said to turn it off, but I’m just happy the sounds are gone and it’s no longer playing.
Besides, Momma herself decides to get a piece of the action. She reaches for Lou-Lou’s arm and begins dragging her toward the front door. “Don’t mind me, boys. I’m just taking out the trash.” She throws Lou-Lou out the door. “Next time I won’t be so kind—” She pauses. “What’s that word you like to use again? Oh yeah…Puttana,” she snarls before slamming the door shut.
She rubs her hands together and looks at Ricardo. “I think it’s time for you to find a new distraction.”
Ricardo nods. “I still can’t believe she pulled that. I always knew she was territorial, but this…is going too far.”
Tyrone hikes his duffle bag on his shoulder and looks at me. “Maybe I can catch a later flight,” he offers.
“No, it’s fine.” I give him a pound. “Go and get your girl, man. I can’t wait to meet her.”
He gives me a grin. “Break bad on em’ J-man. Call me after you win the fight tomorrow night.”
“Will do.”
Momma barrels into me and puts her arms around me. “I look forward to seeing more of Alyssa. That girl is something special, I have a sixth sense about these things you know. And my opinion on her hasn’t changed one bit. Love you, sugar. There are some leftovers in the fridge for you.”
“Thanks. Love you too, Momma. Have a safe flight.”
After they leave, I sit down on the couch. I’m still reeling from what happened. I force myself to sit on my hands in order to stop myself from putting them through the wall.
“Hey,” Ricardo starts. I sit up and glare at him. He blows out a breath. “You want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I bite out.
He holds up his hands. “Okay. I get it, man. I do. That couldn’t have been easy to walk in on. Talk about being fucking blindsided. We all were. None of us even knew about that tape or what the h’ll Lou-Lou was making us sit down and watch. It makes even more sense now why you’re so protective when it comes to her. I don’t blame you.”
I grunt and look away while he continues, “Normally, I’d say this anger would be good for training.” He pauses. “But tomorrow is a big fi ght and I need you to be clear and focused enough to go over strategies.” He heads for the door. “So, I’ll give you a few hours to cool down before we head to the gym. And I meant what I said, Lou-Lou won’t be coming around here anymore.”
He stops and taps the wall beside the door. “As your coach, I can’t say that I like the idea of you and Alyssa together. You’ve got one h’ll of a hero complex and this visceral rage inside you is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It makes you great in the cage…but it’s a liability on the outside. And I’m afraid that she might be the thing to tip the scales in the wrong direction for you.” He opens the door. “But as your friend…I think there’s something special between you two. I think, in some way that’s beyond my understanding; you guys need one another. I think you two get each other in a way that no one else ever will. Anyway, if you change your mind and want to talk about it, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” I whisper.
I lean back and look at the television. The image on the screen is still paused.
The freeze frame of Alyssa permeates my vision.
I didn’t actively go searching for this sht. But right now, this is my very own Pandora’s box and I don’t know if I can resist the urge to open it.
I know it won’t change how I feel about her…but maybe it will help me understand her more. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I hit the ‘play’ button on the remote.
The first thing I register is that she looks a little different. Not a whole lot, but there are some subtle distinctions.
For one, her blonde hair is shorter, resting slightly above her shoulders instead of halfway down her back like it is now. She’s also wearing less makeup in the video, it makes her appear younger. And the way she’s dressed…she’s wearing a full sleeved cardigan and her long flowing skirt is almost touching the floor.
It’s not a bad look, she’s still beautiful…it’s just different…innocent.
I can’t help but notice that the camera is angled directly behind the guy’s head. There’s some ridiculously generic tribal tattoo on his lower neck. There’s literally nothing else giving his own identity away. You wouldn’t even know it was the mayor’s son filming this.
The camera is solely focused and zoomed in on Alyssa. That alone makes my blood boil…because I know this was all a setup
“Strlp for me. Show me those nice ti tt ies of yours.”
For a moment, I see the hesitation in her eyes before she answers, “Um. Okay. I can do that.”
My first instinct is to look down when I see her standing there in her white cotton b ra. I’m part enraptured and part disgusted because I can only imagine how many men have ogled what I’m seeing now. How many men just chalked it up to her being some ‘wh’re’ and thought they were entitled to watch her like this. Not even caring about the life changing repercussions she suffered from it.
None of those men deserved to be seeing her like this. H’ll, I’m not even sure if I do.
“Have you ever su cked a dk before, hot stuff?”
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Yeah. My high school boyfriend,” she answers.
“Did you like it?”
She blushes and nods. “I did.”
I can see even more now why the video went viral, not only is she beautiful in a natural way—which alone is appealing. But these personal questions she’s answering? It makes it so genuine and real. Like you’re right there in the room with her.
“What did you like about it?”
She appears to think about this for a second before replying, “Being able to please him with my mouth. Knowing that I was the one responsible for his pleasure. It’s empowering.”
And now my dk has officially joined the party in the third circle of h’ll.
“Yeah? Why don’t you finish getting nked and show me how much you like it?”
I hear the sound of a zlpper in the background while Alyssa pulls down her sklrt. Then she pauses.
“No, sweetie. I want you nked, now. Take everything of f,” he commands.
The shame hits me hard when she starts strlpping. Not just because my dk’s reacting to it…but because I could see myself uttering that very same command to her. The turbulent wave of jealousy that washes over me when she drops to her knees before him nked steamrolls over any shame that I felt.
Even my dk decides it’s too much of a hassle to compete with my mind and gives up.
My mind wants to conjure up its own alternate version that has her putting her clothes right back on and turning the camera around on him before taking a bat to his head.
I can’t watch any more. I already know what happens next. I don’t need or want to see another second of it. I’d rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty spoon. Disgusted with myself, I rip out the wire connecting my laptop to the television.
It was exactly like Pandora’s box. I found no answers by watching it…all it showed me was a different brand of ev’l in the world.
I wish I never watched it at all.
It still doesn’t change how I feel about her, though
BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 31 – 40
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