NONSENSE MISTAKE : Episode 1 – 10
Written by Ngozi Lovelyn O.
Episode 1
“Baby, where are you? There is this new lestaurant they opened newly, that is vely crose to my stleet.
I want you to come so we can clash one or two things there.
I heard that it’s the latest in town” Ofoma said, asking his long time girlfriend whom he loved so much with all his heart and was planning to marry her.
“Oh God! How did I end up with this loser? How many times will I teach him not use “R” in place of “L”? But he won’t learn.
He is just a stark illiterate, I can’t deal with him anymore, I’m beginning to get fed up with him”
“Utom, are you still there?” Ofoma asked, listening to hear what Oluchi will say
“Yes….yes, but I can’t come alone, I’m with my friend here, she just visited and there is no way I can leave her here all alone” Oluchi said
“No plobrem, you can bling her arong. I’m ever capabre to pay for what ever you and your fliend will eat, am I not “odogwu” again?” He asked, sounding cheerful and Oluchi then gave him a very faint giggle and said: “OK, we will be on our way, just text me the address”
“Ok, I will do that now. It’s vely close to my stleet, frash me when you start coming”
“Please, it’s not frash, but rather use the word, beep” Oluchi corrected him, feeling irritated, “and he did not even use the correct word which is “flash”, bush man” she murmured in her heart
“Arlight my teacher, that was why I sent you to school so that my children will not have empty brain like I do”
Oluchi then scoffed and said that they will be arriving the restaurant soon.
After they ended the call, her friend, Chidimma who paid her a visit, gazed at her in a questionable manner, trying to inquire if the guy was a new catch.
“Hmm, I know what you must be thinking, because that look..”
“Yes, yes.. Tell me already, because I’m sure he can’t be Ofoma. Because, the look on your face is different from the one you make whenever you are speaking with him over the phone”
“Chidimma, to tell you the truth, he was the one”
“Huh! You mean that Ofoma was the one you just spoke with over the phone?” Surprised Chidimma asked
“Yes”
“No way! Oluchi, are you being serious?”
“Chi, I can’t take it anymore! That guy is too low for my level. How can I be punishing myself, going out with somebody who I’m not even proud off?
Whenever we are in a public place, I keep praying to God to make him remain silent, but there, he will always find a way to disgrace me with his ” R & L ” syndrome. To tell you the truth, I can’t hold it any longer….”
“Oluchi, if I tell you that I’m not surprised hearing this utterances from you, then know that I’m the biggest liar ever. Since when did you start feeling disgusted about him?”
“Chidimma, I have been nurturing this feeling for a very long time now, just that he keeps washing my eyes with his money. Right now, I’m considering leaving him, I can’t take it anymore”
“Why now? Answer me Oluchi, why now? After he has finished making you a responsible woman in the society?
Thanks to him, you were able to finish your studies in the university without any stress, with the hope of training his future wife.
Oluchi, there is nothing wrong with Ofoma, don’t do this to him, don’t break his heart. Why now that he has finished training you in school and already making plans of coming to see your people? ”
“Chidimma, please don’t mistake love for gratitude. Marriage should be based on love and not gratitude. I know that he helped me with my education, I’m not denying his tremendous effort towards that, but don’t forget in a hurry that I was also paying him back in my own way. I also satisfied his other needs, so we are even.”
“But he had built all his hopes on marrying you, that guy will commit suicide if you do this to him ooo, pls ooo Oluchi, don’t do this, please. I beg you, you have to return the love you two used to share”
“Chidimma, my eyes are opened now, I have already made up my mind.”
“So since, you have already made up your mind, why did you lied to him that you will be coming to see him now?”
“Come on girl! I don’t have to cut him off like that until I get another suitable guy that will occupy his place. Do you want my account to run dry all of sudden? I have to be posting him until I’m completely done with him.”
“Oh dear, she is definitely going to make Ofoma go crazy, he will commit suicide because of this”
Please let’s go before he start buzzing my phone, asking me where we are.
They were still on a tricycle that was conveying them to the new restaurant when her phone began ringing
“He is calling” Oluchi said, and then answered the call.
“Utom, where are you now? I’m arleady at the prace” he asked
“We are getting close” Oluchi answered, angrily disconnecting the call to his ear, but Ofoma did not see it as anything.
When they reached, Ofoma rose from his seat as he sighted her.
“See my Queen, uto ndum, looking so tantarizing” he said in a loud tone, approaching to hug her, spreading his arms wide, as people turned watching his proud display of love towards his woman.
“Chidimma, did you see how this man keeps disgracing me? And people are watching…. Why is he spreading his hands like that?” She faintly said, giving Ofoma a fake smile.
“All I see here is a man who is in so much love and also proud of his woman. Oluchi, you don’t know what you have. Some women would do anything to be in your place” Chidimma said in her heart.
And Ofoma then led them to where he was sitting and ordered for the waiter.
“Who is here? Prease, my Queen is here now, come and serve our table”
When the waiter approached their table, Ofoma began asking them what they have.
“Hope you people have flied lice and chicken with sarad? They are my baby’s favolite?”
“Ofoma, can’t you keep shut for one minute? Seriously, I’m done with this man, I can’t bear this disgrace any longer” Oluchi said in her heart, breathing anger and deep hatred towards Ofoma
“Yes, we have all that sir” the waiter replied
“OK, I will need one bottle of Helo Beer. Hope you have it here?”
“Yes Sir, we do”
“What of Ice-clean, the slawbely type?” He boldly asked, with the intention of making his woman happy
“No sir, we don’t sell ice-cream here” the waiter replied
“It’s ice-cream oo, strawberry oo.. Dear Lord, from what planet did this bush man emanated from? This is the height of it.. Thank God Chidimma is here with me, otherwise, I will die of shame.” She murmured, looking unhappy.
“Utom, what of your fliend, ask her what she will take, or should they bling flied lice for her too?” Ofoma asked, looking at Oluchi, noticing that she was not looking happy…..
NONSENSE MISTAKE : Episode 1 – 10
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