Episode 10
“Hey Felicia!” She takes a smile giving me a quick hug I could feel the tension in her body.
” Hey Pamela! How are you?” I asked her.
” been okay. You?” She greeted back as though she was talking to someone she just met.
I watched as she exchanged greetings with my brother and saw her hold on to Dan’s hand as he greeted her.
I cleared my throat at them. ” well, where are we going now?” I changed the subject drawing closer to Dan.
” I thought you guys might want to catch up?” He gave me a knowing look.
” that is not necessary babe” I smiled at him calling him babe to draw the line. Well, I had fallen in love with him and I was not too going to allow her play innocent and take what belonged to me. I knew my friend had a crush on him since we were young. The only thing that put her away was the fact that Dan was into me and even though i pushed him away, I never allowed any of my girls to fl!rt around with him.
” yes you guys should catch up just give me that money Daniels and I will go look for that phone. ” Junior poked in.
“Well then, see you find us outside Hungry Lion I need cold water and some ice cream” I shrugged casually not minding the look of fear on her face.
We were quiet as we walked to Hungry Lion at Levy park mall. She kept looking ahead as we walked.
” so, what’s up?” I asked after making my order. She looked at me.
” nothing much, how are you?” She asked carelessly I could see she was so uncomfortable but playing it cool with me.
” you don’t need to play dumb with me now, those guys have gone, what is it now? I hear you poking your nose in my life, what were you thinking telling my brother the lie about us quarrelling over Bright. You won’t let that poor guy rest in peace huh? ” i smirked licking on the ice cream enjoying its coldness.
She was in a pair of jeans and a crop top, I smiled inside seeing the same kind of dressing I knew her for. Am sure she was wondering why I was clad in a long cotton dress that outlined my body adding a small jacket on top.
” first of all I didn’t poke my nose in your business Fey, your brother met me and he was asking questions. ” she responded with an altitude.
” oh so you wanted me to tell him the truth instead eeh?” Pamela added shaking let head.
” well, you are too dull to come up with anything sensible I know that. ” I spke carelessly too realising I was pissed with her.
” what is with you Fey, you talking to me as though i have done something to you eish please, do not drag me in your misery. No wonder I stayed away from you.
Ritah was right, you are no longer the same person at all. I cannot believe I agreed to talk to you, it’s like talking to a stranger you are so cold and I hate to say this but you are so I don’t know how to say, unbearable and …”
she could not finish her words and I slapped her across the face.
” watch what you say to me you bitch, I was your friend and you were supposed to be there for me. You say it like I wanted all this. You think am happy ehe, that all is well with me? Well let me tell you what’s going on here.
Am so pissed, yes am so angry at you, at myself and at almost everything. I don’t give a d@mn if am cold or hot, don’t you think I want my life back? I live under constant fear with that thing . You want to know more? ” i shook my head crying as I whsipered close to her to avoid people getting what I was saying.
“am so scared of everything that surrounds me. I fear the good things and people around me Will varnish, everytime i look at that thing having my face and a beast all way down, my life is so discourged. I need to say it to someone but how do I do that? You are lucky my dear, very lucky that you got rid of that thing before it was too late. So please don’t look at me like am this evil being, don’t you even dare judge me. Am the same person you knew and I hate what that thing has done taking away my mother and the man I had fallen in love with.
Don’t you dare judge me cause you have no clue what I go through. Having sleeplesss nights every night. Wishing I could wake up to a new day but only to awake to face the darkness that surround me and the circle goes on and on.. its so tiring you will never imagine how bad it is. My love for money has really gotten me to h*ell. I wish i did something different. ” I spoke tears running down my face.
All I wanted was to rid of my pain. I cared less if she was listening or not, atleast I was able to say the truth to someone after a long while.
I saw her wipe her own tears.
” am so so sorry Fey, I wanted to be there for you but I guess am just scared of what you have become. I somehow know what you are going through casue even though i got rid of it, I still have night mares of that tadpole or maggot whatever it was. ” she told me.
” so what about Dee?” She asked changing the subject.
” hm. He is so good to me you have no idea. Even though i know I am a thorn in his fresh, he still clings to me. That guy is an angel, my story with him is like that of beauty and the beast only in this case am the beast. ” I smiled honesty and I saw her relax seeing my smile.
” you love him too right? I saw the way you looked at him but what about…..”
” I know, Feli hates him to the core…” I snapped in.
” Feli?” She asked wondering about the name.
” that thing at home. It insisted I call it by name so I call her Feli” I let a laugh and she laughed softly too.
” well so what now?” She stopped laughing.
” yeah so am with him against her wishes. I know your fear, you are worried what happened to Bright might happen to him too. ” I looked at her and she nodded her head I could see her lips shaking I knew she was still scared even when she was playing strong.
” for some reason it cannot harm him. I know that for sure cause it gets mad at me for being with him but it has not done anything for a while so am asuming he is covered sort of” I explained.
Pamela sighed shaking her head ” I missed you you know, I was just scared the thoughts of you brought fear to my heart I don’t know why.”
” I know, you are right my dear, am not the same anymore, maybe it’s right that you stay away from me cause I cannot bear to see anyone around me get hurt” I frowned seriously .
We talked for almsot half an hour and I came to learn about what she was doing at campus. She stood me Ritah was still in Kafue.
By the time we where done talking, the guys came back. Pamela and I said our good byes leaving the boys wondering what happened seeing us smiling at each other gain. Pamela did no give me her line nor tell me where she was staying an indication she did not really want anything to do with me so I didn’t bother to ask too.
” you guys are good? ” Dan asked me before leaving for his place.
” yeah I guess so. ” I sighed
” thats good am happy you have your friend back you know.”
” yeah”
I avoided bringing back the issue of the church and was glad he didnt too. My brother and I left for home.
We were busy talking and laughing as he explained about his new phone telling me the Applications Dan had helped him download and all about the phone, then I heard some noise coming from the direction we where heading to.
” who is that?” I asked seeing a woman talking and crying as she paced around the road side the on lookers standing to watch her.
” that woman stays a few blocks from uncle’s house Fey” he explained hurrying to hear what the mouse was all about. I on the other hand slowed down my heart melting at the thought of what was going on.
I was carried away in the day’s activities and talk with Pamela I had forgotten I left Feli covered in blood.
Now it dawned on me, she had killed a human being. But how and who was it? I asked myself closing in on the gathering.
” what happened?” I asked Juniour who was now moving away coming to join me.
” a guy, about my age has disappeared the mom said he went out with his friends yersterday but has not returned. All his friends went back home and they say he too was heading home but it’s like he never got here. ” he responded making me feel like vomiting I ran to our house.
Junior came running behind me worried.
” Fey are you okey?” He asked upon catching up with me as started throwing up like I was so sick just before the gate to uncle’s house.
” I feel sick all of a sudden” I panted lying to my brother
Let’s get you inside you clinse your mouth ” he held my hand after I was done and led me in the yard. He handed me some water and I asked to sit outside to get some air. Ofcourse the reason was my inner fear of facing the thing inside the house. I could hear it call out to me. I didn’t want to see it yet so I ignored the call and sat outside my heart heavy.
” poor soul, he was so young” I whsipered to myself but Junior heard me.
“Yeah, but am sure he is out there somewhere the guy is something else too. He stopped school last year in grade 11 and got himself in bad company all the time. ” my brother made a face.
” yeah but he still had his whole life ahead of him and the mother is so devastated” I shook my head sadly.
My brother was surprised at my words.
” Fey, do not say it like he is dead. Come on he must be just drunk or whatever somewhere ”
” I know. It’s just, well forget it. I hope he turns up ” i quickly added to avoid any suspicions meanwhile I knew he was gone.
After almost an hour sitting outside I decide to go and face my reborn self, I peeped to make sure everyone was busy with something before closing the door locking it behind me.
It was good my cousins where male and put in boarding schools i was given the whole room to myself.
A stash of cash lay on the bed as I turned my back. I looked at it, once again the money I asked for at the time I was washing my face in the water before it was made kept coming to me. It had a way of bringing it and I gave up trying to know how.
” you finally decide to come in huh ” she snarled moving towards me.
” yeah” I sighed ignoring it.
” he was a lost cause, I would not touch him if he was a right person. He was bound to h*ell” Feli giggled happily.
” he was just a boy, that’s what people of his age do they want to experience life, you cannot just take people’s lives because they do bad things. He was still making choices and could have changed eventually. ” I responded shaking my head.
” the good news is they will not find his body you know, it’s all here and I will not feed for days . That was so satisfying” she smiled making me want to puke again.
I could not talk back at it. I was silent all way through as it went on the details of its adventure. My mind was lost in thinking about how I was to live from that day on. Things were really getting mess so was my mind.
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TO BE CONTINUED
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