REBORN IN DARKNESS
I watched her drink the cold water in one gulp, there was something about the manner in which she was drinking that cold water that got me concerned but I could not get myself to ask her about it, seeing how sad she was after talking about her mother.
” feeling okay now?” I asked her holding her hand. Her skin felt so smooth under my palms. I rubbed it gently not wanting to leave her side.
The story of her mother made me realise partly the reason behind her vivid sadness in her eyes. Who could blame her, she felt guilty for her mother’s death and probably would get to live with that somehow for the rest of her life.
” God help her” I silently whispered a prayer.
She looked at me in our silence this time with a genuine soft stare that gave me the impression I could have her as I desired to do.
” Fey, ccome here” I said after clearing my throat.
” what? ” she lifted her face at me..
” come on Lay down with me. My roomie is not coming any time soon.” I spoke with a smile.
” no I cannot do that Daniels, am …”
” don’t think of anything more than just lying down with me. I have known you for years Felicia and in all the years I have never thought of making you do what you do not want. Besides, I am not planning on getting int!mate with you or any girl before marriage anyways so be at easy” I asurred her and she looked at me her mouth open.
” what?” I sat up staring at her surprised face.
” you are a vrgin? ” she asked almost in a whisper.
” yeah actually I am. I know it’s sounds a little bit hedious in this era, but I told myself I would do it with that special person after I make her my wife ” i chuckled
I saw her frown wearing her smile and suddenly changed into a sad face.
” you are a good person with unbelievable principles, that special one will be lucky to have you as a husband ” she grinned.
” unfortunately I have had a share of my own shame after rushing for things I was not even supposed to at a tender age. ”
” come on lay down with me ” i pulled her ignoring her sentiment and cutting her speech short . She looked at me and reluctantly moved to join me. Curling herself in my arms placing her head on my chest and letting her right hand stay on my chest.
I could not help the urge to hold her. I wrapped my hand around her back and held the top of her hand, the left hand fingers interlocking with hers.
” hmm. Go on now” I sighed in a smile happy she allowed me that close. I felt her body relax and her soft sigh told me she was smiling.
” I liked that. I wish i had a chance to see it on your face even in a flash. ” I told her sincerly.
” what is that?” She’s looked up at my face making part of her natural soft hair touch my face.
” that smile I felt you do a few seconds ago” I answered. She smiled again this time still facing me and I could see the curve of her teeth. Her soft eyes gently staring into mine. That moment just felt perfect.
” thank you ” i smiled back and and she went back to her original position.
The next hour we stayed together talking about different things this time around I avoided anything about her which I noticed she was not so comfortable talking about. I let that part pass and talked about other things and I noticed she kept on talking back and laughing softly. I could see she was feeling herslef and I had reason to belaive she too realised how happy she had become.
” thank you so much for this I have never felt this relaxed and happy in a long time. For a long time, I have had a very occupied mind and that internal struggle. Now I feel like. . ”
” a baby” I added before she could finish whatever she wanted to say.
She looked at me laughing so hard, ” yeah” she laughed her voice louder than before.
” that’s a good way of saying it. I feel like I have become baby, so free and with nothing to worry about for a moment. I seriously had forgotten this feeling . ” she sighed looking up and she changed position laying her head on the pillow instead.
” am glad I made you feel that. You have no idea how painful it was seeing you so sad and groomy all the time. This is you, my Felicia with a free spirit and a lot of sense of humor” I remarked.
She looked at me from the side and held my hand. ” thank you again . I mean it”
” yeah,I know I can see it in your eyes. I hope tomorrow and the days to come will be the same.”
The honesty in my voice as I said those words was clear but I saw her face draw back to that sad person. She sat up and looked at her phone. The next reaction I saw left me shocked.
It was like she had just realised she missed a very big appointment, she jumped off the bed and quickly picked her text book.
” Oh my.. I have to go now!” She panicked looking outside.
” but Fey come on. We were having a good time. Why go now as though you are rushing to someone. You stay alone and tomorrow is weekend, stay please” I held her hand whilst still laying down. She withdrew quickly
” I shouldd not be here Dee, it was a mistake.” She shook her head her eyes filled with that fear again.
” what is wrong Felicia? What or who gets you this scared all of a sudden? ,” I stood up to her.
” nothing Dee let me go now please you have to understand ” she shivered
” Dee eeh, I like that you calling me that again. You have not called me like that in years” I smiled instead still holding her.
Without warining she slipped off my hand and opened the door before I could stop her. I walked out to watch her go and was shocked to see her trotting as she went.
Knowing their was something serious going on but it didn’t make any sense to me.
” Oh Jesus, help her, I love her and I feel it in me I have to help her pull through whatever scares her like that” I whsipered a small prayer getting back into the room.
I was practically running to my room my heart beat racing as far much as my legs were patting the group down my feet. I knew she was mad at me. She was probably wagging her tail. I had forgotten she was supposed to be fed at 17, delaying her meals by an hour was so much going to get her ragged adding to the reason of my delay.
I was shaking as I pushed the keys into the door lock. When I opened it finally I felt the coldness of its skin on my feet. The room was a bit dark before I turned on the switch.
” where have you been Felicia?” My own calm voice came on from down my feet I stood frozen.
” do I get the sense you are scared of me again? That only means you have been doing wrong things huh?” She asked her voice raising this time as she flowed her cold body up my body.
” no, I was just um… um” I murmured
” will you let me turn on the light?” My voice came out broken.
She let herself off me and I went for the switch.
The only thing about her face different from mine was the way her eyes were. They had this sharp stare and sometimes it would shine especially if she was threatened or caught by surprise like the time my mother came to face her. When she was calm, they looked so much like mine.
” am sorry I know I was supposed to come give you your food on time. I was held up” I managed to speak against her scaring look.
” mmmhm. You have lost your way Felicia, you are lucky that man has something covering him. Otherwise today could have been his last day to lay his hands on you like that. I can feel him all over you, his scent so disturbing, i hate him!” She whsipred with an intensity in her voice that signalled she meant every word.
” he has nothing to do with you so leave him alone. I will not let you kill any man that comes into my life and genuinely likes a me” I responded walking to the two plates cooker to prepare her boiled eggs.
” you can have any man you want remember? Those who can better your life. Is that not why am here?” She teased folding herself in the bed .
” am not going to sell my body for money Feli, you can forget about that. What do i need money for anyway?” I shook my head getting some water from the fridge.
” buying my eggs and you looking good. Just look at your figure, i wonder why you complain cause even in long clothings, very few girls can match your body structure” she encouraged like she always did pushing me to sleep around.
” i won’t succum to that. My mother died because of me doing that and here i am ending up with you here. Am tired of all this and…..”
” can i have my food cooled am starving ” she cut me.
I placed the eggs in a bowl and poured cold water to cool them faster. Seeing her eating I shook my head feeling ragged.
Every time I was around that thing my whole being was something else. I was feeling anger, frustration and all sorts of bad feelings.
” Daniels has this light around him, he makes me feel happy and good about myself. ” I thought loudly in my head and she turned to look at me.
” I heard that you know ” she muffled chewing on the eggs.
” whatever!” I shrugged getting off my clothes and going into the blanket to sleep.
I closed my eyes and imagined being with Daniels. His smile, his scent and gentlenes making my insides crawl. I realised everytime I put my mind to think about him I felt a sense of peace. So I clung to the thoughts that might and fall asleep peacefully without any disheartening dreams.
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