TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN
EPISODE 27
As I rushed behind the nurse, fear paralysed my mind.
Was I rushing for good news or bad news?
Along the corridor I saw a woman mourning and asking God for an explanation. She had just lost a loved one, was I going to be in the same situation soon?.
The thought of it all frightened me so badly that I started reciting PSALMS 23. Davids confidence in God through that prayer calmed my spirit.
The walk along the hallway felt like the longest walk. Atusaye was on my mind and I was praying with every fibre in my veins that he survives this accident.
Finally the nurse made a turn, it wasn’t the ward I hard earlier left Atusaye in but it was another private ward.
Wondering whether to question the nurse what was happening, I bit my lips and folded my arms. I was feeling very cold. It wasn’t cold but the fear brought a very unpleasant breeze.
I hated the sight of hospitals, they all seemed like death traps to me and this one was no different.
“Madam sit over there am coming” the nurse said as she pointed towards a bench that was near the ward. She entered the ward alone and as soon as she was in, a doctor walked out. Now this frightened me more.
“Doctor… Doctor wait.. How’s the patient?” I asked as I ran after him.
“Take a sit madam you will be informed soon” he responded as he continued walking.
Did this man know how I was feeling?. Soon sounded like forever. Besides he knew so I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell me.
“Madam.. You can come and see the patient” the nurse said.
I couldn’t read her face, but she called me to see the patient. Meaning he had to be alive at least.
I entered quickly and walked to the beside. It was a private room so he was alone.
Atusaye’s eyes were closed but I could tell he was breathing, his face expressionless. He looked like he was really tired and so I avoided waking him up.
Gently, I dragged a chair and sat by the bedside. I began to recite prayers in silence while I looked at him.
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It had been 4hours and Atusaye was still in deep sleep, the nurses told me he was on strong medication to ease the pain. He needed to do an operation but first he needed to feel better otherwise it would be too unbearable for him.
I didn’t want to leave his side, even just to use the toilet. The nurses advised me to rest as it was now night time but I didn’t want to sleep. How could I when the love of my life was in that condition?
I watched the day turn into night and the night turn into day but my dear Atusaye was still in deep sleep. He neither winked nor move a muscle, not even smile at me or even frown. At this point I preferred the arguments to seeing him in that state. Every minute was critical, I couldn’t shut my eyes. I concentrated a lot on his chest as his shirt gently vibrated. It made me aware that he was still breathing, still holding on to me.
The nurse and doctor came in for their morning round, I was asked to step outside. I didn’t want to but I obeyed and slowly walked outside. My body was fatigued, and I felt weak.
The hunger had now hit me so i went to the hospital canteen and bought some soup. After taking 3 hipped tablespoons of the hot chicken soup my throat blocked. I couldn’t swallow any further.. I couldn’t eat knowing Atusaye was hungry, he had been lying in that bed undergoing treatment yet unable to eat nor drink. What was the medicine Working on? An empty stomach?
Tears clouded my eyes and in one blink my face was wet. I cried profoundly, questioning God in my heart when this suffering would end.
I got up leaving the soup ball on the bench and took a tour of the hospital, praying and hoping things could get better. I was in a foreign land where I went to get my recognition but it came with a lot of stress.
As I decided to go back to the hospital ward my phone rang. I couldn’t recognise the number but I could tell it was Nigerian.
“Halo…” I answered calmly.
“Halo my dear its Clara. How do we get to the hospital?” She asked.
I gave them directions and went to check on Atusaye as I waited for them to come.
The nurse cornered me before I could reach the ward.
“He is awake, don’t stress him with conversation.. Make sure he rests” the nurse said.
Atusaye’s eyes where closed but I could tell he noticed the presence of a person by his bedside as he slowly opened his eyes.
I moved the chair closer to his bedside and I noticed his face become bright and the left corner of his lips bended into a gentle smile.
He was restless but he still smiled at me.
“I love you honey” I whispered.
Atusaye’s smile widened and he nodded his head before closing his eyes again.
I held on to his hand and leaned my head on his bed as I too fell asleep.
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I was woken up by a loud mourning voice and my heart skipped. Clara was in the room with Atusaye’s mother who was screaming on top of her voice.
I looked at Atusaye and he was still sleeping peacefully so I gently left his hand as I tried to advice Clara to take mum outside.
“What are you saying!!!!!” Atusaye’s mother yelled.
“You are a w!tch and if my son listened to me, we wouldn’t be here!!!!!” she mourned.
Those words echoed in me and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was hurt but Atusaye was my biggest concern at that point.
The nurse came in and Atusaye’s mother was taken outside.
Atusaye started coughing uncontrollably and the nurse called the doctor. They said he was frightened and that increased his breathing causing him to cough badly. They managed to stabilise him and I finally heard him say a word….. it was my name.
He called out my name.
The nurse asked me to hold his hand so he could be aware of my presence which I did and he looked at me with a smile.
Clara was indifferent towards me and as we sat by Atusaye’s bedside together, I could tell she did not want me there.
I rested my head on Atusaye’s bed again as I held on to him and dosed off.
Suddenly a rough tap on my shoulder woke me up.
“Mum wants to see her son but you have to leave first, she doesn’t want you here” I heard Clara say.
I couldn’t believe what I heard so I looked clearly at Clara who was seated next to me by the bedside.
“I said mum wants to come and see her only son. Can you please excuse us?” Clara said rudely.
I smiled gently trying to brush the anger away.
“If mum wants to see him let her come in, Atusaye does not want me to leave his side so I can’t go anywhere” I responded calmly.
“You have managed to make a fool out of everyone in this family but not me and certainly not my mother, maybe Mrs. Martins who welcomed you into her house after picking you from God knows where”.. She said angrily.
I did not respond but just took in a deep sigh and turned around to look at Atusaye.
After a moment of silence Clara left the ward.
A lot of pain stirred up inside but I let it go with a short prayer.
Suddenly Clara bulged in this time with her mother and the nurse.
The nurse came to me and politely asked me to follow her outside.
I opposed as I didn’t want to leave Atusaye’s side.
“madam I know how you feel, you’re the wife but she is the mother. Please give her a chance to see her son” the nurse said.
“Wife???? No! Make no mistake she is not the wife but a maid who has made a living by reaping off men. ” Atusaye’s mother shouted.
“Its OK madam keep your voice down” the nurse interrupted.
“This woman here actually has another man” Clara yelled in the background.
As all this chaos was taking place Atusaye was asleep peacefully while I shed tears.
“Clara you know that’s not true” I cried.
Clara looked at me disgustingly from head to toe, you could tell my plea meant nothing to her.
“Dear let’s go…” The nurse said as she held my hand.
Despite trying to resist, the nurse insisted I go.
I cried bitterly as I let go of Atusaye’s hand and followed the nurse outside.
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