THE EXCHANGE
Episode 23
I didn’t sleep all night & I left for my parents in-law’s house as soon as our driver got in.
When I got there, I saw that maid again; she was looking at me like she wanted to tell me
something but was being held back, she had always given me that look.
I could hear Baba T’s parents talking but as soon as I entered, they kept quiet. His dad said they had tracked him down & he was at a hotel, the man was clearly angry, although not at me. He said he had to leave bcos he had a very important meeting that he could not afford to miss. He turned to Baba T’s mum & said “Mo ti sè w?n tí mo lèse (I have done my best). These ones are now more important to me now” he said, pointing at me (my tummy) & my son. “He’s your son(iwo lo ke bajè), these ones are my grandchildren & I will not allow anything or anyone mess them up” my father-in-law added, as he turned to his wife, got up & took his leave.
As soon as he left, my mother-in-law started to beg me; she said I needed to be patient
& that Baba T had some issues that they were trying to fix. She said she needed my
cooperation to do this; bcos his father was at the verge of abandoning him & had already threatened to cut him off.
“He is very smart & he is a good boy who picked up this bad thing & this what company does to a child… even one that’s supposedly from a good home” she said & begged me not to share any of this with Laide or Bola, bcos Bola had a positive influence on Baba T’s life & she didn’t want Bola to stop being his friend.
I told her I was a little confused bcos I did not really know what was happening or why my husband was angry. When she saw my naivety, she took advantage of it & twisted everything; funny enough, I believed her.
The issue was resolved & Baba T came home, he blamed the stress for his erratic behavior & I even apologized for
getting him angry. He started to see a doctor
to help him with the ‘stress’ (that’s what I
was told) & it seemed the ‘doctor visits’ helped.
When it was time to have the baby, we went to the United Kingdom again but this time,
Baba T did not come with us. It was just my mother-in-law, my son and I. My father-in-law put his foot down that Baba T would not come with us. I even asked if my husband could come after I had given birth but he said they would wait for us in Nigeria.
I had another baby boy, there was a little complication. I would have loved my husband to be present…I needed someone to comfort me, the kind that only a husband can give to his wife.
From that day, I started to hate the weird control that Baba T’s parents had over his life & affairs. I wanted my own family; I wanted my husband to be the head of my home, not his dad. I decided I would talk to Baba T about it, once we got back to Nigeria but this time, we stayed four weeks after my delivery before we left.
When got back to Nigeria, we still stayed at my in-law’s for a while & had the christening there again; I couldn’t wait to get to our house so I could bare my heart to my husband. I couldn’t have my mum come over & spend some time with me & cook me some nice Abeokuta dishes. I couldn’t even have the opportunity to tell my husband at his parents’ house how I was feeling bcos there was no privacy at all; his mum was always hovering around, always trying to know what was happening between us.
The day finally came for us to move back to our place…my mother-in-law called me & said “I’m sure you think we are meddling in your affairs & we are too controlling, but we are doing it for the right reasons. Kó lè dáa náà ni (We are doing it for your good)”
She went on & on about how they know their son & his problem thus, can “handle” him better than anyone. She told me to tell her what I thought since we were on the same team & wanted the best for Baba T… so I said
“There must be something I’m not seeing ma, Baba T told me he’s made some wrong choices in the past but nobody is perfect & I don’t think he needs to be treated like a kid to make him a man”. I regretted making that statement…as I could see how it changed my mother-in-law’s expression, “?m?dé ò moògùn ó ?pè l’?f? (a little kid cannot differentiate between vegetables & herbs); is that what you think? Ok o, I’ve heard you, I’ll let you handle your husband” she responded. I could tell she was angry, I tried to explain what I meant but she said it was okay, that she got my message loud and clear.
We got to our house and things seemed to be going on smoothly. My mother-in-law had backed off a little bit and I was beginning to enjoy my husband. He would come home straight from work instead of going to his dad first. The “doctor visits” or whatever they called them, also stopped..I couldn’t ask for more.
About a year later, I was home in the morning sorting out clothes for the dry cleaner. I always check the pockets of every cloth before passing them on to be washed. I found something in one of BabaT’s pant; I brought it out & it was some kind of polythene bag package. It was tied up so I opened it & it contained a white powdry substance just like what I saw him snorting a while back.
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