THE EXCHANGE
Episode 27
He came back in the room, picked his car keys & said “if not for my mother that talked me into marrying a peasant like you, you dare question what I do in my own house? I should be your god; unquestionable & sovereign. I made you & I can end you” You know when you are sobbing & your tears are in one accord with fluids from your nostrils? That was me. I was hurt more by his words than the physical as$ault. I never knew he could say those things to me. I could hear the gateman opening the gate for him & he left the house that night.
I must have curled up in the same position for over an hour…I finally gathered enough strength to get up. I ached all over as I dragged myself back to our room, cleaned my wound, got into the bed & cried all night. I couldn’t call his mum so first thing in the morning, I called Laide & she came over with Bola; they were shocked & appalled at the things they saw & heard. I did not want to mention what I saw him doing, bcos I was ashamed to tell anyone this family secret so I focused on the physical abuse.
Bola said he never knew Baba T was that kind of person; if he had heard this from another person, he would have dispelled it & vouched for him. Bola promised to track him down & talk to him. Laide stayed behind & advised me to take things easy “ìw? náà máa ní sùúrù ni (you have to exercise patience) you already have 3 children, where do u want to go now? We will pray & God will touch his heart” Laide advised I told Laide I wanted to discuss this with my mum but she advised against such. She said I might not be able to salvage the damage that it could cause in the future.
Laide left in the afternoon & Baba T showed up later in the evening. He looked at me & said if I ever discussed him with anybody again, he would make my life miserable. He was not remorseful at all & the plaster/band aid on my forehead did not mean a thing to him. He said I was a mistake that he was forced to make & he would find a way to rectify it. I didn’t say a word & he kept taunting me, I could tell he wanted me to respond so he could find an excuse to hit me.
He asked how I thought I deserved someone in his class & level of education. He also said he was too embarrassed to tell anyone that I was a mere ‘School Cert’ holder. “What’s the difference between you & the house help? Tell me a fundamental difference apart from the fact that you married me” he asked. At this point, I went into the bedroom to avoid responding but he followed me & threw the door opened. “How dare you walk away when I’m talking, you stupid illiterate? Do you think you are worthy of me?” I knew he was not going to stop so I said “But you were the one who came after me”.
“That wasn’t me, that was my mum. She was the one that saw & liked you; she literally begged me to ask you out. She made me give you all those things so you could leave that pathetic boyfriend of yours. She let her desperation for grandchildren cloud her judgement, saying how well brought up you were & how you would make an obedient wife. In the end, I had to please her.
Did I even talk to you the first time I saw you? Maybe I should take you through my dating hall of fame. There are girls I dated, that would cringe if they found out I ended up with something like you” he responded. His words hurt like crazy & I could tell he was doing it intentionally; hot tears flowed down my cheeks but I kept quiet. I never knew a day like this could come; I knew we were not compatible in someways but I couldn’t recognize what it had become. Somehow everything had spiralled out of proportion & had taken a plunge, into a sharp decline. It happened so fast that I didn’t even know how it happened.
After the fierce bout of tongue lashing, Baba T left the house again & didn’t come back home to sleep. I decided to get my mum involved so the following morning, I travelled to Abeokuta with my children & opened up to her, I told about the drugs, which had made him temperamental & abusive.
“Mo dáràn(I’m in trouble)” that was my mum’s first reaction. She must have noticed that her reaction wasn’t helping so she calmed down a little. She said she would help me beg him as there must have been something I did that he wasn’t telling me. My mum decided to go back to Lagos with me so she could talk to my husband. I wasn’t sure I liked the idea but I didn’t know who else to talk to. We got to Lagos in the evening but Baba T did not come home that night…my mum kept telling me to believe that all will be well.
My husband finally showed up in the morning & was shocked to see my mum. He greeted her but said he couldn’t stay bcos he had a meeting & only came home to pick a shirt & tie. He promised to be back later to have a talk with my mum. My mum was in Lagos for 3 days & Baba T did not come home. My mum had to leave after the third day bcos she had some other appointments to keep. I could tell she was disappointed but she downplayed it & said maybe Baba T already knew what he did & was too ashamed to come home. She left a message that he should come and see her at Abeokuta unfailingly that weekend & be prepared to pay a huge fine.
Baba T did not come home until that weekend; he didn’t greet me or ask of my mum. He got the kids & said he was taking them out. I wanted to asked where they were going but he wasn’t even looking at me…
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