ASSUMPTIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN RELATIONSHIPS
YOU MIGHT BE IN THE WRONG!!!
Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle
24th November, 2014 is a day I can never forget in my life.
My mum had travelled down from Ibadan to Bauchi to help nurse my twins immediately they were born and had requested to see our wedding photo album after lunch one day.
“Ah, beautiful girl, where is she now?” She had asked.
Bending down to see who she was asking about, it was Tessy, my chief bridesmaid. I hissed quietly.
“She should be fine” Was my reply as my baby sucked on.
“What do you mean she should be fine?” She asked, shock obviously evident in her voice. “That girl is a very good girl, hope you know” She said and I nodded.
“Why won’t you call her a good girl when she kneels down to greet you every now and then? Her real person came out after our wedding” I said, pain clogging my heart.
“What did she do to you? She is a witch abi? The one that snatched your husband? What evil could Tessy have done to you that you are slandering her in my presence?” My mum was becoming infuriated. I looked up at her, tears gathering in my eyes.
“I have never had any best friend asides Tessy. Tell me who I loved so much that I opened up my life to than her.” I paused, placed sleeping Tracia in her crib and picked up Trivia so she could eat also.
“Of course she loves you too” My mum said and I shook my head.
“And is that why she is envious of me?” I asked and my mum’s jaw dropped.
“Anita! Anita! Tessy is envious of you? Envious of what?”
“I married before her. Isn’t that something to be envious of? Since my honeymoon last year May, she hasn’t called me.”
“Did you call her?”
“Yes, I called her severally June last year, she didn’t pick. I sent her Facebook messages also. She read all but never replied! My birthday was in January, she never called to wish me well. So, what should I do again? My life has gone on without her.”
“So, summarily, you people haven’t spoken to each other this year?”
“No” I said, sighing as I placed Trivia in the crib also, adjusting my blouse afterwards.
“Is she aware that you have given birth?”
“Well, I said something like that briefly on Facebook but she can’t see it. I blocked her off on WhatsApp and Facebook. I can’t bear it, thinking she’s seeing all my posts and not saying anything” I said, sluggishly and my mum clapped her hands together, placed the album on the table and sat on a stool before me.
“And you are a Christian o. A child of God for that matter. Tessy isn’t just any random person that you should throw in the bin. You two have been together since the university days, you served in the same place, went for Masters in the same place too! C’mon!” She said again and I sighed.
“So, what should I have done? Keep calling her even if she wouldn’t pick the call?”
“How many times did you call her last year? Was it up to three times?” She asked and I shook my head.
“See my dear, I must let you know something. One, you are no more a small girl that should be holding tight to grudges like this. Two, never you allow pride in precious relationships! Sort it out, discuss it!” She said and paused. I sighed, looking away from her.
She wouldn’t just understand!
Must I always be the one to call?
“This lady scouted you in her room for two years. She was always your cheerleader. Talk of someone who always rooted for you, it was her! She didn’t envy you then when you were always the best in your department. She didn’t envy you when you were to go study abroad three good times! She didn’t envy you when you got about four government appointments at the same time, why should she start now?” She asked and tears laced my eyes as I remembered how sweet a friend Tessy had actually been.
Those days when I was broke, she would be the one to get me something out of the little she had!
She would pray for me every little opportunity she had. And her smile…oh my!
Tears rolled down my face. My biggest support system!
“That’s my third point to you! Never you focus on a single mistake of someone, forgetting the one hundred good things the person has done for you! The person is human, she is not perfect! If she doesn’t call, you call! Don’t bottle in your feelings, saying it doesn’t concern you when it really does! Be expressive! Be kind!”
Each word that travelled down from her mouth to my ears were like needles piercing my raw wound. I had never felt so wrong in my life!
“Yes, forgive in advance! Don’t always be quick to say goodbye to good people! Not someone like Tessy Anita! You are so so so wrong!”
My husband walked in just then, smiling wittily as he did.
“Mummy o, don’t let my wife scatter the whole house with tears o. I am sure the words have hit her badly. Thanks for saying in a firm way, what I had been telling her gently since all this while” He said calmly, sat beside me and smiled again.
“Be firm with her when you need to my son. This Tessy girl is very precious to her. Pride is disallowing her from checking on her, even blocking her on…chai…orisirisi…”
“Sweetheart, here is your phone. I know you know her phone number by heart. Call her. You will be justified if she doesn’t pick again” My husband said as he handed my phone over to me.
I sniffed wetly as I collected it gently, dialed the number and waited till she picked up.
I really didn’t know what to say to her.
But I had missed her though.
“Hello, who is on the line?” An elderly voice answered. She sounded like Tessy’s mum.
“It’s Anita ma. I want to speak with Tessy.”
“Ah…Anita! It is well o. Let me give the phone to her” She said and soon, her voice came on.
“Anita? Is it Anita Grace Adeniyi?” She asked, a large smile, obviously on her face.
“Tessy! I can’t believe you are happy without me! Should there have been a day when we shouldn’t talk? You didn’t call on my birthday. You didn’t call to ask me how marriage has been. You didn’t even ask if I was pregnant or something.” I mumbled on and on. She chuckled and smiled.
“I am sorry love. I am so sorry. Do you know how much I have missed you. I actually should have called but…” She was saying when I heard her mum’s voice again.
“Be brief. It’s time to go in now.” She said.
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