CAN’T HOLD MY TEARS : Episode 1 – 10

By Authoress Mide?



In the land of Iguocha where people are known for excess beauty lived a certain beautiful girl named Amara. Definitely not the most beautiful girl in the land, but obviously the most desired. Her spotless skin was neither fair nor dark it was somewhere in between, glowing like glass and smoothly like a silk her flawless skin was the envy of the other maidens in the land.Even though she was from a very poor background, her smile was bright like the morning sun was enough to make every male specie desire the sight of her. Her suitors were many ,even though she was still in school yet did not stop increasing.

Being from a very poor family did not stop her dream of becoming a medical doctor, in order to take her family out of poverty. She had watched on her neighbor’s television the way doctors dress smartly in white apparels in the hospital and have vowed to focus squarely on her studies in waste to achieve her aim in life.

Amara started school rather late but at the age of nineteen, she was in her final year in secondary school and she had never lost the top position in her school. She looked forward to writing the popular WAEC, which was feared by all the secondary students. She had burned midnight candles during the long vacation and now the resumption is finally here with much energy. Her dream is finally coming to fulfilment. She had hope of meeting the requirements of the scholarship, in order not to have any problem in school. Little did she know about her destiny was about to take another turn.

Something unexpected happened, something which change the course of life for ever.


I closed the lid of my diary as warm tears filled my eyes. I wanted them to go away as usual but they rolled uncontrollable down my eyes. I did not waste time to brush them away knowing fully well that it will be a wasted effort. A warm hand touched my shoulder tenderly bringing me back from my reverie into my surrounding. The cameras were already in place as five pairs of eyes looked at me with concern in their eyes.

“Are you ready” the manager asked me??
I shivered as I nodded my head and turned to the camera.

“Hello” I said to the tape recording.
“my name is Amara Peters….and here is my story”

Episode 1

Never have I fathomed in my little mind that I will be deprived of my goal. my eyes have always been fixed on that spot. I always spied on my neighbor’s television just to be able to listen to the news, see beautiful people and aspired to be like them. But everything changed all of a sudden, my destiny was thwartedd. My brain was hacked by a stronger device and I was left with only one thing to drive every action -my emotion to corper Bello appeared and became the driver of my emotion because he had the key to my heart…….

My legs dragged sluggishly on the beautifully-paved road of Abuja, as I dragged my legs to catch up with the pace my parents were setting. We have spent three days in Abuja, doing the only thing, searching for corper Bello. I cannot believe this is happening to me. My legs felt strangely numbed and my waist painful from walking. Every one I saw was neatly dressed. even though this was my first time moving out from my local village, I was not enjoying myself.

“Move faster, pregnant woman” my father shouted “and stop dragging yourself.”

People who were passing by turned and were looking at us, I bowed my head down out of shame. Yes am pregnant for corper Bello, Dad never stop reminding me of it, as if I can ever forget. how can I forget the news that shattered my dreams and brought shame to my face?

“you this useless thing when you know you cannot handle the rigors of pregnancy, why did you spread your legs wide like a satellite dish?”

Stung, I held back the tears in my eyes and walked with my head bowed. Thoughts vacated my head as I walked sluggishly behind my parents.

“Aah Aah Nnayi” …my mum murmured bitterly

“shut up woman” my Dad shouted at her.
“looked at you! like mother like daughter” he hissed.
“You better find the useless man that impregnated your daughter, if not you will both leave my house today”. he hissed again.
” I Wonder where your waywardness will lead us to. We don’t have s–ts in my family, maybe it from ur mother side.”

Pains sliced through me like a million times. I have brought shame and ridicule to my family.

I have cried a lot during the past few weeks, and all I hope for is that all the pains l’m feeling now is worth it. Tears burned in my eyes as I remembered my dreams. The dreams I had hoped of been a high class doctor. All the dreams has been destroyed. I told myself with confidence that corper Bello will accept me and my unborn child. I placed my hands protecting my tummy, trying to close the ear of my baby from hearing the harsh words from his grandfather as my Dad continued to rain insult on me. My anxiety rose up a little as I remembered the sweet words that came out from his mouth as he made sweet love to me. He has worshipped my body with his hands and his mouth saying words that brought tears to my eyes, it has been the most exhilarating experience of my life. Corper Bello loves me, he will definitely accept me and the unborn child, I told myself. All we need to do now is find his house that we have been searching for the past three days. We discovered that his father is the famous Senator Bello and my Dad seemed to reduced his anger towards me.

We arrived the massive gate and paused. I checked the address again, I am sure there was no mistake. This cannot be the corper fathers house, can it? The gate alone is bigger than my entire village.

“Isn’t this the place?” My father asked me also awed as he saw the massive gate.

I checked the address again. My Mum also checked the paper I was holding,
“I think it is the place” I said instantly.

He knocked at the gate. I adjusted my small wrapper and waited patiently. The gate opened and a man came out. His size was huge and he was sizing us from head to toe in utter disdain.
“what do you want?” He shouted.

My Dad glared at him,
“where is your Oga?? We are here to see Senator Bello”
The guy looked at us again and laughed.

“People like you don’t have any business with my Oga. Are you sure is the senator you are looking for?”

“ogini” my mum intervened. “what is your job? is it not to attend to visitors?? C’mon open the gate”

“You cannot go in, the senator is in a meeting” he said.

Dad hissed and pushed the guy out of the gate, mum dragged me forcefully inside the house. I was surprised to see the big house and I wondered where the entrance was. Before we got to the door the guy has already informed them of our coming. I saw a woman running down the entrance with the guy looking at us like some little intruding insects.

“What can I do for you?” she asked.

“Dad hissed, get out of my way, woman. I am here to see Senator Bello and his son. I don’t need a woman running her mouth here”

The woman got angry.
” what do you want with my son and husband? He does not mingle with your kind” she said in disgust.

“Hey, you better shut up your mouth there or else I would shout and the whole world would know just how irresponsible you are. Shameless people” he hissed. “I am here to see the Senator and his good for nothing son, and the earlier you take us to him, the better.”

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