HOUSEHOLD ENEMIES
EPISODE 9
They arrive at the restaurant and Kenny asks her to place the orders for them , she does and when the waiter serves the food, he kneels down and ask that she prays over the meal before they begin to eat. She is surprised as the Kenny she knows is not the type that would pray before eating.
Funke: “Bless us Oh Lord and this your gift which we are about to receive from your bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”
Kenny: C’mmon Baby, that’s Sunday School prayer before meal you just did, you know.”
Funke: “Prayer is prayer, joor. Now get up let’s eat. I don’t know why you are still on your knees, it’s embarrassing. Please take your seat, people are beginning to stare at us”
Kenny: “Let them stare, I’m not ashamed of my God, you go ahead and open your dish and eat, I haven’t finished praying.”
She opens her plate and in it is a beautiful shining Diamond ring. She is shocked beyond words. Kenny still on his knees grabs her hands saying.
“Funke, it’s been more than two years since you came into my life, even though we met in the strangest kinda way. You have seen the worst in me and yet you have stayed true to me. Although you are a very brilliant girl, you have sacrificed the education you came here for to please me. I put up some of those nasty attitudes the first time you came to my house because I wanted to test you, I was on a quest of finding true love so I behaved the way I did to test your love and loyalty. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you are my world. Will you marry me, Funke?”
Funke is taken aback, she didn’t see this coming at all. Yes, being with Kenny is all that she wants but she isn’t expecting it this soon.
Kenny: “I am still on my knees o, please say yes, my Queen”
Funke: “Yes! Yes baby! I will marry you”, she answers with tears of joy in her eyes.
“I promise that you will never regret this, I will go to any length to make you happy.”
“I promise to be the best wife to you, my naughty baby”, she says, laughing, Kenny in turn gives her a big smile
Later that evening, when they are in bed, Kenny plants a k!ss on her finger that has the engagement ring and then breaks the silence,
Kenny: “We need to discuss something, sweetheart.”
Funke: “Okay, what is the matter?”
Kenny: “We are engaged to be married now, I need to meet your parents and you need to meet mine so that marriage plans will start in earnest. Just as you know, I don’t like to waste time on serious matters”
Funke: “That isn’t any problem, I suppose.”
Kenny: “Well then, we need to relocate back to Nigeria. That’s where we will live when we get married, so, the earlier we move back there, the better.”
Funke: “What! Relocate? Why? What about my studies? Hmm” she says shaking her head
Kenny: “Well, you have to quit your studies at this stage. I mean, what’s the use proceeding with it? You have many carryovers, your CGP is very low, even if you stay here till you graduate, you won’t go with good grades. Let’s go to Nigeria so that you can start all over again in any university of your choice, I will pay.”
“Hmmn, I am speechless”, she tells him.
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As soon as Kenny leaves for work the next morning, she dials her father’s number.
Funke: “Good morning, sir.”
Baba Funke: “How are you?”
Funke: “I am fine. Erm, I will be coming back to Nigeria in a month’s time.”
Baba Funke: “Ah! praise God o, my daughter has graduated o I will throw a big welcome party for you.”
Funke: “No, I have not graduated. I want to get married.”
Baba Funke: “Okay. My daughter is getting married to a white man. My family is blessed, I am the luckiest father on earth.”
Funke: “No, he is not a white man, he is a Nigerian, a Yoruba man. I am withdrawing from school to settle in Nigeria.”
Baba Funke: “What! Are you out of your mind? Withdraw bawo, ah egba mi o. Do you know the kind of serious fasting and prayers we have been doing on your behalf here? I even told pastors and prayer warriors to intercede for you in case my prayer is not enough. Ah!, my daughter has lost her senses.”
Funke: ” Ba mi, you need to hear me out. I am doing this for my own good. I can’t…”
Baba Funke: “Gbe enu e so ohun, jor! Shut up your dirty mouth there. Me listen to you, you are the one who should listen to yourself. Wo, you must not return back to Nigeria without your Master’s degree o. Else, I will disown you. Yes, I say so and I will do it. Mama, Funke! where are you? Come here and listen to the nonsense your daughter is vomiting. This girl will make me commit murder on the phone.”
Mama Funke runs out from the kitchen, “Ern, what is wrong with my daughter o, omo mi o, give the phone to me”, she snatches the phone from her husband’s hands. “Funke mi, what is this that your father is saying?”
Funke: “Ma mi, I am quitting my studies here to return to Nigeria for good. I don’t care what anybody thinks, I have a Yoruba man that I love here and he is coming to see you so that we can start our wedding plans.”
Mama Funke: “Quitty abi wetin she talk? Ejoo, kini quitty?
Tobi: “She said quitting, not quitty. She mean say she no school for America again. She wan come marry another man for Nigeria.”
Mama Funke: “What kind of stupid talk is this? You no school for America again say wetin happen? Which yeye marriage you dey come do? No be say na Oyibo man you dey carry come, seff. Where you wan keep Wahidi wey you promise to marry when you come back? Since you go America, na everyday Wahidi and im papa dey come give us bush meat. Even seff, they come do introduction last week wey you no gree pick calls. Woo, don’t even, try it. If you must come back to Nigeria without your certificate, na to bring oyibo or come marry Wahidi. This girl has exposed me to my enemies to laugh at. Egba mi o.”
Funke’s father collects his phone and ends the call, he and his wife engage in a dramatic display of emotions as they come out of the house and shout so the neighbours can hear that their daughter, Funke, has brought shame upon the family. Soon as the line goes off, Funke collapses on the bed and begins to cry, being at loggerheads with her parents is the last thing she needs at this stage of her life.
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