TO ALL SLAY QUEENS

By Mabel Agbenro

Abuja ladies come and learn…

They drive a Mercedes or any exotic car and wear designer slippers to the mall acting careless with his bottle water and his perfume a bit heady.

They pick a few toiletries or whatever and wait in their car acting like they on a phone call till you get out and notice their latest iPhone and Samsung on their lap. Sisters do not fall for this, it is a scam.

If you must exchange number just keep your guards up cos I tell you most of them live out of their cars. There is always a traveling bag or two in the boot of their car and they have no stable accommodation.

Same thing they do in clubs, nurse a glass of drink almost all night and smiling slyly around a corner acting like they own the place, these ones wait for you to step out to pee before forming coincidences and asking for your number in the most charming and polite way that you will give without thinking twice.

You know how lots of empty estates are scattered around Abuja? So here is what they do. They pay the security guards and the guards in turn let them camp over night in houses yet to be rented or sold or furnished apartment where owners are not in the country and they clear out in the mornings and start the hustling of getting babes living alone.

They are usually into “Properties, contracts, oil and gas”. When they tell you the above occupation sister shine your eyes. (I know this cos it they caught lots of security guy in the estate where we used to live)

Some of them claim to live with friends in a big house and they don’t want you being around their “Lousy friend” cos you special but they cool with you hanging out with their friends. That way you are never allowed into the house, they invite you to their friends place to chill but never where they live because well they don’t trust their friends. LIE!!!

Two three months into the relationship they must have tried to impress the girl and hint at marriage because that’s all most ladies want to hear. Whether they come and shout “I don’t care about marriage” or they form “miss independent” SOME ladies fall when they start hearing marriage.

So these guys will form marriage then gradually move in with you without you realizing it. It will just be “my man is so loving he likes being close to me or at my place”

They bring home food most nights and sleep over then give you the grand lie. “My rent just expired and since we talking about getting married, I don’t want to pay another rent in that apartment. It will be better if I move in with you so we save the money and pay for a bigger place before wedding. Don’t worry my things will be at your place but I will mostly stay with Mo” (they all have a fall back guy who is somehow related to the president or FCT minister or one top shot politician)

When they say this sisters I beseech you therefore, hold your ears and slap yourself back to reality. You have just been faced with a classic Abuja boy.

Let them move in at your own peril, they never leave until you throw them out and that is usually very difficult cos they are always charming and you can’t find anything wrong with them.

If you mistakenly meet the mad ones like few of my friends have met then #E don be for you. The mad ones will take over your life and home, they will start forming ownership and even threaten you, they will convert your things to theirs and they will make you feel like you are a bitch for complaining.

Home owners are coming back to the country for Christmas so the boys are clearing out of their “houses” and they have intensified their games. Don’t say I didn’t tell you. I have seen this happen to a lot of ladies in Abuja and I can tell you it’s not funny.

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