WHEN I FALL ? ?
BY RUTHIE LEE ? ?
EPISODE 25
Kathleen walked closer to me.
She smiled. “Since you’re a man of dignity then, fight the ur.ge!”
Her smile faded and before I knew it her l!ps were all over mine.
It was real.
H.ell away with dignity.
I couldn’t fight any stupid urge cause I was lost in the kss before it even begun.
We were already halfway through the kss before my senses came back and I pushed her back.
“What the h.ell Kathleen!” I yelled making her flinch.
“your mother used to tell you there’s power in your eyes, but you don’t really know about it? Really? Quit telling me bullsht Kathleen” I don’t really yell or cuss when I talk, but this is all just too much. I know she knows something about herself, how can you posses an ability and don’t how it works or feel. I don’t want her to get in my mind of head like that guy and Ymir in his head.
“Well… Kathleen sighed.
“Well?” I looked at her.
“I have the ability. We all have the ability to make people do what we want them to do, just by them looking in eyes… But I didn’t want you to know” she sighed.
“And why? I didn’t know you keep secrets!” I rolled my eyes.
“I didn’t want you to think I’ll do anything harmful with an ability like that!” she stated.
And does she mean harmful by making me fall in love with her and get her stuck in my head and then she’ll suddenly leave.
“Or maybe, you should just leave!” I stated.
“Leave? But you said I can stay here with you and Mary!” she stated sadly.
“Well now, seeing you have an ability like that, I don’t think it’s safe for Mary and I!”.
“But i promised sir, Joseph, I can’t hurt any of you!” she said, her voice sounding like she’ll be crying soon.
“Sometimes a promise is just like the wind, it can come at you and still pass through you. You might go against your words one day.” I stated.
“I can’t i always stand by my words” Kathleen stated.
“You might think so, but it might not be so!” I half yelled.
Mary suddenly starts to cry, showing her four teeth, her face red and her eyes shut to the fullest.
Kathleen tried to walk up to Mary but I said. “Get away from my daughter” before she could even make another move.
Kathleen watched me walk up to Mary and placed her on my shoulders patting her back gently.
Mary stopped crying immediately and I looked up at Kathleen to see her sulking, holding back tears and looking at her feet.
Well I’m used to her being a cry baby now, but whatever ability she has, that might be dangerous to me, she better tells me so we won’t end up like Ymir and that guy.
“Do you hate me sir, Joseph?” she suddenly asked.
Well. That question is an overstatement, I don’t hate her, I just hate the fact that she is what she is. And I’m also hating the fact that I’m scared of what she might do with what she is, and also scared of ending up like that guy.
“Please answer me!” she shuddered as she raised her head up to look at me, her eyes was big glossy and round, the corners of her eyes was red as she held on to tears in her eyes.
“If i hate you, do you think I’d let you live here, eat here? Or even touch my daughter?” I threw back the question.
She sighed, well a sigh of relief and a tear dropped.
“But why are you asking me all this, acting like–
“Because” I suddenly interrupted her. “I keep seeing you in my dreams and I just want an explanation for that!”
“I… I don’t know what to do honestly, you keep seeing me in your dreams, that is an honour, but I don’t know what to do!” Kathleen stated.
“I have never had anyone tell me they’ve seen me in the–
She suddenly paused and looked down and then back up at me.
She cleaned her tears and let out a loud gasp.
“My mother… I’ve heard her say something like, when we make men see us in their sleeps, that means they have fallen in love with us, but back then I didn’t understand what she meant by that” Kathleen explained and I shook my head.
I can’t possibly be in love with Kathleen
“My mom and my older sister usually talk about the world up here and how men easily falls in love with woman, needless to say how men fall too easily for us, I didn’t even try to understand what she meant then! She said we can’t force men to love us, that they’re just bound to love us, like it’s some sort of rule or must, just like how we grow as a must, men love us as a must” Kathleen said.
Wait what?
“Well that is stupid and i am not in love with you, and that isn’t Love either, love shouldn’t be a must and if it’s a must, you’re a siren and I’m human we’re both trespassers since we’re both living under this roof, under the same roof, isn’t that considered danger? And scratch that, you have a mom and an older sister? Why are you living here with me? ”
She suddenly looked down.
“They’re both dead!”.
I wanted to ask how they died but she looked like she never wanted to repeat the word again.
Them being dead or not didn’t change my perspective of seeing them as dangerous.
“And sir, Joseph I’m not dangerous!” she tried to explain.
Since Mary wanted to get down from my arms. I dropped her down and turned to Kathleen.
“You might be dangerous or not, but you creep me out, I told you I have dreams about you, and instead of trying to find out why, you kssed me! Isn’t that something creepy to do?” I half yelled and stayed calm ’cause Mary suddenly gave me a scared look.
“Because you said, you couldn’t control your urge to kss me and i don’t want you to control it!” she yelled.
What?
What sort of girl is this?
“Why the h.ell would you say that?”
“Because I like It when we kss, I like it when you touch me, I like it when you say sweet things to me and I like it when you smile at me, is that a problem?” she yelled.
Why is she suddenly getting mad… Again.
“Not even hiding the fact that you’re in love with me” I scoffed.
“Love is that it? Is this how love feels… Am I in love with you sir, Joseph?” she asked bitterly.
“Speak for yourself.” I folded my hands
She gave me a glare. “If this is how love feels then it’s cruel, cause I want to kiss you, and hold you so bad, but you don’t seem like you ever want to return those gestures!”
Nobody has ever been so open like her before.
“That’s because I am not in love with you and don’t think I will ever be.” I stated.
She walked away without saying a word, why Mary crawled up behind her. Kathleen noticed and turned, she bent down to pick me and glared at me before disappearing to her room with Mary in her hand
Through out the whole day, I didn’t see Kathleen,
It was minutes later after breakfast that morning, I saw Mary crawling alone in the living room and I knew Kathleen had dropped her there.
I was kind of surprised Kathleen ditched lunch and dinner cause she never misses food.
It’s kind of funny she’s angry with me cause I didn’t reciprocate the feelings she has for me?.
It’s a good thing I’m not in love with her.
Or. Am I?
No way.
–
It was nighttime and still Kathleen locked herself in her room, I didn’t care though, she’ll probably get tired of the silent treatment and come out whenever she wants.
After giving Mary a bubble bath, I dressed her up in her ducky pajamas and we both ended up on the be.d.
Well I was lying down but Mary wouldn’t lie down. She was having a good time playing with my face and pulling my hair.
I turned off the light and she immediately held on to me holding me tight and staying calm. I laughed and patted her back, she made blabbed about something to me but I just laughed when I didn’t understand a single word.
Mary finally fell asleep with half of her head on my b0dy and the remaining parts of her b0dy on the bed. I adjusted her b0dy perfectly and my sleep came in immediately.
I walked into the living room to see Kathleen on the couch smiling and watching Mary sleep beside her.
“Kathleen? What are you doing here? And why is Mary here too aren’t you guys supposed to be inside?” I asked.
“Well it was a little stuffy inside so we came out here, and Mary doesn’t seem to have a problem on the couch” Kathleen replied standing up.
“Yeah, I can see that!” I nodded.
Kathleen sighed. “But still I feel stuffy and hot!” Kathleen said unbutt0ning the shirt she was wearing.
“But wouldn’t it be better if you take 0ff the whole thing!” I said.
She walked up to me with a smile. “You wouldn’t mind helping me do that would you sir, Joseph?”.
I returned the smile as I start to unbutt0n the whole sh!rt. I was already have way down her stomach when she pulled me in for a kss. And just r0ugh like always we went.
That igniting burning feeling started again. Our eyes shut, are pupils at the back of our heads. Our m0uths moving with harmony and concinnity. Our breaths synchronising and our hands r0aming our b0dies none stop. The feeling I recieved was more than just feelings, we were just kssing but I felt like going farther.
Suddenly I woke up. I sighed and turned on the light and sat on my b.ed…
Third night in a row.
Same Kathleen dream.
I could still feel the feeling I felt while kssing her. The ur.ge and the exciting sensations.
I got home from my bed and walked out of my room.
I needed some water cause my body felt hot from the inside. As I walked passed the living room and made it to the kitchen, I wasted no time in filling my glass.
Well the water did really help,
I was walking out of the kitchen when I bumped into Kathleen. Luckily I caught her when I almost crashed her to the ground.
“Thanks!” she said nervously.
“Thougt you were giving me a silent treatment.?” I smirked.
“Silent treatment? No I’m not, I’m just mad at you!” she huffed.
“Same thing, what are you doing out here anyways?” I asked.
“I went to your room to look for you, but you weren’t there so I decided to check here and yep. You’re here!” she smiled.
And looking her in the eyes I’m reminded of my dream and the enthusiastic sensational feeling came back again.
“And what do you want with me?” I asked.
“Uhm nothing actually” she said nervously.
“Okay. We better head back to bed then.” I said not moving an inch.
I thought I was going back to bed but still yet my body didn’t want to move.
“Okay then after you, I’ll go to bed later.” Kathleen stated.
Okay I’m trying to go to bed. To walk away but I can’t. Something was telling me not to leave. It was like I wanted to fulfil something before leaving.
I slowly lean my head down and my hands slide up to Kathleen’s cheek.
Kathleen held my hand with a frozen expression.
“What?” I asked.
“Sir, Joseph, you’re about to kss me.” she stated.
“I know that.” I replied.
I’m fully aware of myself. Somehow I needed this so much.
“And you’re not going to be mad or blame after you kss me are you?” she asked looking down at my lips. She wants it to. So why is she restraining and asking questions like this.
“I blame myself for my own mistakes!” I said.
“Yeah, right, a mistake!” Kathleen said bitterly. “Every kss you take with me is a mistake. Can’t you just kss me like it’s not a mistake, I love you, sir, Joseph” she sighed.
“You can’t just use the L word that easily” I tell her.
“But i want to” she stated.
“Loving someone makes you want to take a big step!” I tell her.
“What If I want to take bigger steps!” she said.
Bigger steps.
“Then you just have to stop talking now!” I said and kssed her.
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