When Love Doesn’t Make Sense
Written by Sonia Okehie
Episode 13
Second-to-last episode
The journey towards a happy ending in Love isn’t always Rosy, but whatever is good and worth fighting for is definitely worth the stress and effort. There comes a time in a person’s life where they are willing to put in effort to make a relationship with someone they love work. In my case with Gary, I had sacrificed alot just to ensure that our relationship weathered the storms and scaled through unhurt. All through my life, this was the first time I was scared of losing someone. If anything ever happened to my relationship with Gary, it was going to be very difficult for me to trust any man again to the extent of fully committing to that person. My heart was at the verge of shutting down for a very long time at that point.
After the shocking revelation by Elle regarding Gary’s accident, it just felt like the whole world paused. At that moment, I felt a sharp pain in my heart but my hands were too numb to hold my chest. Tears clouded my eyes but were unable to drop because my whole body froze due to shock. It was terrible!
Have you ever experienced helplessness? Like that moment where you are completely helpless in a situation because you don’t have the ability to do anything even if you are dying to. The fact that Gary was in a far away country, totally shattered my heart because I knew I couldn’t see him or be there for him even if I wanted to. At that moment, I wanted to jump out of the bed and head straight to the hospital but the thought of him being far away broke my heart triple times than the actual revelation of him being in an Intense Care Unit. What a devastating day indeed!
After being lost in thoughts for few seconds, I finally managed to continue my conversation with Elle. “Can I please speak to him? Can he talk? Has he woken up? I hope he isn’t in coma or anything? Why is this happening!” I soberly inquired. Elle tried to calm me down by assuring me that Gary wasn’t in Coma and that the doctors were doing their possible best to speed up his recovery. However, she informed me that he wasn’t allowed to make or receive phone calls, but would definitely pass any message I have across to him.
On hearing that I could pass a message across to Gary, I told Elle to record the call. I dropped a few tears and soberly said; “Babe, can you hear me? I don’t know if you can hear me but I want you to be strong OK. You will fight this and come out unhurt because this earth still needs you, I need and your family needs you too. I’ll be holding on here for you till you come back home OK. I can’t wait to hug you again and laugh with you. My heart is heavy and I’m also scared but would be strong for you. I love you babe and will definitely be praying for you”.
When I was done, I could hear Elle sob quietly too. She thanked me for being so supportive and assured me that she would get my message across to Gary. We spoke for a little while before finally ending the call.
Immediately the call ended, I burst into uncontrollable tears afterwards. I cried my eyes out till I started having severe headache. The pillows in Gary’s room were almost soaked due to the tears that kept falling off my eyes.
That day, I totally understood what it meant to be helpless. At that moment, I would give up just anything to see Gary and be there for him, but I sadly couldn’t do anything other than cry and hope for a good news. It was such a traumatising experience that I wouldn’t even wish for an enemy if I had one.
Since that day henceforth, I took to my knees in prayer and asked for God’s intervention in Gary’s health. I prayed morning, afternoon and night but still felt God hadn’t answered me yet.
During those times of intense fasting and prayer, I began to reflect on my personal life, my values and my relationship with God. I figured I had engaged in certain acts that might have made God a bit disappointed in me. The fact that Gary and I didn’t practice abstinence from some certain acts made me more sober, guilty and also worsened my pains. I found myself amending my ways all over again and finding peace back with God. I also renewed my relationship with God.
Those days were one of the loneliest days of my entire life. I totally isolated myself from the whole world and spent the rest of the day after work at Gary’s house, so I could connect with him by being around his clothes and another personal belongings. One fateful night after crying my eyes out, I decided to go into an agreement with God as a reassurance that I truly meant business this time around.
As I cried that night, I found myself talking to God. “Dear Lord, I still haven’t heard any good news yet regarding Gary’s health. You said in your word that I should bring my case to you so we can reason together and I have done that these past days but still haven’t heard any good news yet; even after I have held you by your words. Because of this, I have decided to take things further by going into an agreement with you. If Gary gets healed and return back safely to me, I promise to keep my body till the very day I say ‘I Do’ to my husband. I promise to keep myself holy and pleasing in your sight, make Gary an understanding partner too and also give him the strength to go on this new journey of abstinence with me. Please bring my baby back I beg you Lord. I’m so tired, I’m very tired Lord. I don’t know how much longer I can keep my sanity together. Lord please, help us I beg you. I don’t know what else to do, I’m so helpless. Please help me, please! ” I soberly said as I cried bitterly.
That night, I cried till I had a headache before sleeping off. It was such a sad day for me but somehow, I felt peace beneath all the pains and sadness. It was a sober day but I’m glad I managed to scale through. Life went on sadly till something unexpected happened one fateful day.
I was at work one day and had a sad mood as usual. That day wasn’t different from other days because I still hadn’t heard from Gary even after Elle broke the sad news to me. At around 5:43pm, a colleague of mine came to inform me that someone wanted to see me outside. I asked of the person’s identity but she didn’t give me any tangible information.
Confused and curious to know who was looking for me, I went outside the office building only to see a tinted black Jeep packed outside. The car horned to get my attention so I began to walk towards its direction.
Immediately I got closer to the car, the back door opened and a very familiar voice said “Hey Baby”. I instantly turned and Lo & Behold, It was no other person than my baby ‘Gary’ with a wide smile on his face.
Before I could react to the sight in front of me, Gary got down from the car and gave me a very tight hug. With tears rolling uncontrollably from my eyes, I soberly said “Oh Thank You Jesus, Thank You Lord”.
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