When Love Doesn’t Make Sense
Written by Sonia Okehie
Episode 8
Trials are inherent in relationships and no love story worth telling was without ups and downs. It’s almost impossible for things to go very smooth in a relationship because it’s a union that consist of two different people that came together to make things work between them. One common prayer couples pray is that God gives them the grace to sail through the storms and come out unhurt; with their love for one another still intact. In my case, it’s safe to say that my relationship with Gary encountered so many bad times just as good times. We had been through so much just to be together but it didn’t seem like a break was around the corner.
After the scary revelation from an elderly lady that claimed to be Gary’s mum, I was left shocked, devastated and totally heart broken. Never in a thousand years did I imagine that I was being used or brainwashed by a man I loved so much and had shared a lot of memories with. The funny thing about the whole situation was that Gary had never given me any reason to doubt his loyalty and love for me, but I guess he was a Professional when it came to the act of deception. My heart was not about to remain the same if the scary reality in front of me was true. It would take a lifetime for any other man to win my heart and get me fully committed in any relationship ever again. Fingers were crossed!
When the woman who claimed to be Gary’s mum was done talking, I couldn’t say much. All I kept saying was “I think you have the wrong Gary” till I ended the call. Immediately the call ended, I held myself from collapsing because my heart was very heavy at that moment.
As I gently laid back on my office chair, my head began to spin with so many thoughts going back and forth in my mind; I was drenched in thoughts. In that confused and devastating state, I knew that calling Gary would be a wrong move because I might end up crying, shouting or laughing, so it was best I put myself together before confronting him.
Those remaining hours before I got off work was the longest, most traumatising and scary hours of my life. Gary had already texted me that we would be meeting up for dinner at our favourite restaurant but I told him we needed to talk. I believe he didn’t suspect that anything was wrong because we communicated via text message. We scheduled to meet up at his house instead and he informed me that he would bring our dinner to the house when returning from where he was at.
Before I left the office that day, I bowed my head and said a silent prayer because I knew that night was going to determine the fate of my relationship with Gary. As the taxi drove down to my destination, I looked outside the window and was just lost in thoughts. As I looked at the trees, houses and the sky as the car drove pass, my eyes suddenly became teary but I held myself from crying.
Still on my way to Gary’s house, I got a text message from him that he was waiting for me at home. I didn’t bother returning his text because I was already close by. Finally, we arrived and I paid the taxi driver and walked through the security till I entered inside the building. Few minutes later, I was inside the elevator and eventually at his door. After the first knock, the door opened and I was welcomed inside with a warm hug. “Hey babe, how was work today?” Gary said as he hugged me, “It was cool, and yours?” I replied and he said “Mine was great”. He tried to kiss me but I moved my face away to prevent him from doing so.
There and then, Gary figured out that something was wrong. His countenance immediately changed and so with mine. “What’s wrong?” he curiously inquired but I didn’t know where to start talking from. After being mute for a while, I finally spoke up. “So you are kinda betrothed to someone back in the states right?” I inquired as tears gradually clouded my eyes.
That question threw Gary off balance and left him dead drop shocked. The reaction in his face gradually confirmed my fears and when I couldn’t bear it any longer, I burst out in tears. “So you are using me? This is all a joke to you right? Oh My God! I can’t believe this Gary, you used me and our relationship never actually meant anything to you huh? Why on earth would you do a thing like this to me? I don’t deserve this and certainly can’t look at you the same at this point. Oh My God!” I soberly said as tears fell off my eyes.
The look on Gary’s face at that moment was confusing and scary at the same time. He was probably shocked as to how I got to know about a thing like that. He was flabbergasted!
“Babe who have you been talking to?” Gary shockingly asked but I was already in beast mode at that point and wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be cool, calm and collected. “Does it matter who I have been talking to? At this point, all I want to know is the truth” I flared up.
The whole atmosphere was tensed at that moment and after being lost of words, Gary finally came clean. “Listen babe, I know what you might be thinking but I just want to tell you that it isn’t true. Yes I have someone back in the states but things weren’t working out between us so we decided to take some time off and that was around the time I met you. At the time we met, I didn’t want anything serious but gradually began to fall deeply in love with you. I know you might not believe me but I planned to officially end things with her this summer when I go for the business trip I told you about a while ago. It’s you that I want and no one else babe, please I need you to believe me” he soberly said.
Throughout my life, I had never felt so used and betrayed like I felt that fateful day. I looked at Gary and broke down in tears like I had never done in his presence. “Wow! So I was a rebound all these while? Like you were just trying to see if you could forget about your precious girlfriend back in the states right? You were using me all these while and never really valued what we had. How could you Gary? I gave you my heart and really thought I had all your heart too but I guess I was very wrong. Do I look like a Guess Work to you? How could you play me like this? I’m really hurt and don’t think I can take this anymore. I just can’t take this anymore, I am so tired” I said as tears fell off my eyes.
On seeing that our relationship was headed towards a wreck that we might never be able to come out from, Gary had to act fast because I was already saying things that scared him. “Sonnie please stop, it hasn’t come to this, my heart is with you and no one else. Babe please believe me because I would go crazy if you ever walked away from my life. Please calm down and sit so we can talk about this” he said in a shaky tone.
As the whole atmosphere was filled with diverse emotions, I looked into Gary’s teary eyes and kept staring at them without uttering a word. I blinked my reddish eyes as I stared into his. After a while, I soberly said; “I have just one thing to clarify and all I need from you is the truth. Was I a rebound to you after you and your girlfriend decided to take a break in your relationship? Was your heart with her when you said all those sweet things to me at the restaurant the day we met? Just tell me the truth”.
My question put Gary in a very tight spot. He was mute and broken beyond words can say. After fighting within himself for over 5 minutes, he voiced out the reply that shattered my heart and greatly tampered with my mental health. His reply was nothing but a devastating “Yes”.
As I stood there looking broken, I gave the most painful smile I have ever smiled in my whole life. My body instantly became numb as I shook my head in disbelief.
Before Gary could try to comfort me, I hushed him and dropped a painful shocker; “It’s Over!”
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