WINGLESS AND BEAUTIFUL: Episode 61 to 70 - Page 10 of 10

?WINGLESS AND BEAUTIFUL?

?EPISODE 70 ?

If anybody could assume that
Chaise was your boyfriend, could you really blame Hunter
for thinking that you chose to move on without him?”
I shook my head slowly. “I waited for him every day.

I was able to survive all this time with a smile on my face and not worry about how difficult and lonely life was… because Iwas always looking forward to Hunter’s return…

I waswaiting every day for him to keep his promise to come backto me.”
“And he did. He came back for you. But when he did, he
saw that there’s someone else already taking care of you.

He thought he was too late. He must have been blaming
himself for taking too long, but that was not his fault too.

You were the reason why he chose to move on and live his
life again… but when he came back, he found that Chaise
was already doing the job that gave him a reason to
undergo transplant in the first place.”

Meredith was right. I couldn’t blame Hunter for this. It was all a misconception. But if Hunter and I got backtogether, I would lose Chaise and his friendship. I would losemy guardian angel and I knew I would hurt his feelingsbeyond belief.

I didn’t think he deserved that. But if I didn’tchoose Hunter, then Hunter would continue hurting and hedidn’t deserve that either.

I heaved a frustrated sigh. “Why does life and love haveto be complicated? Why can’t I love without obstacles?Without getting hurt or hurting anyone else?”

Meredith smiled at me. “You have a big heart, Alice. It’samazing how you always… always put the feelings of othersaround you before your own. And sometimes… that’s yourproblem.

You never thought about yourself. You were neverselfish. Because if you were… you would have gotten backtogether with Hunter last night, to hell with whoever gothurt in the process.”

“I want to love Hunter and be with him… without feelingbad or guilty about hurting Chaise’s feelings.

Chaise is agood guy and has done a big deal for me by saving my life.Even though it’s inevitable that I break his heart, I don’tthink I have the heart to do it,” I said sadly.

“Either way, you’re going to break the heart of one ofthem, Alice.” Meredith said. “You know whose heart youwould rather break. But right now, it’s the heart of the boyyou didn’t want to hurt that is breaking.”

“If I hurt Chaise, wouldn’t that mean I was ungrateful forthe huge sacrifices he made for me? He risked his own life to save mine.

It was bad enough when I couldn’t love him.But now it’s worse because I have to tell him that I’mchoosing somebody else over him.”

“If Chaise really loves you… then he would set you free.He would be happy for you even if he was hurting.

If Hunterdeserves you… he would either set you free to fall in lovewith somebody who would love you more than him… or hewould fight for you because he felt that nobody else woulddo a better job at protecting you but him.”

Meredith smiledat me ruefully. “You have to be honest with Chaise, Alice.

You have to tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t know thatthe guy you love was just around you all this time, then hewon’t back down.

If he kept on thinking that the guy youwere in love with doesn’t give a damn about you anymore,he would do all he could to win you for himself.

But if herealizes that he was in the way of your true happiness… hejust might set you free.”

I thought about Chaise and all the good things that hedid. I wanted to give him a chance… but I couldn’t. Becauseall that I was… and all the love that I could give in my heart,I had already given to Hunter.

“And you have to be honest with Hunter too.” Meredithcontinued. “He had to understand that when he left, therewas another guy who took his place. Not in your heart. Butthat guy did a great job protecting you, nevertheless.”

When Meredith left me in my room, my head wasclearer. Chaise had to know about Hunter, even if it hurthim. He just might back off and give Hunter and me achance to continue our story.

And if Hunter still wanted to bewith me, he was free to come back to me. But if he didn’twant me anymore, then he couldn’t use Chaise as anexcuse not to be with me.

I knew I couldn’t tell Hunter everything in a space of tenminutes, which was probably the amount of time he waswilling to spare me if I asked to talk to him.

Jealous Huntercould be irrational no matter how smart he was. But he had to know everything. From the day he left, until the day hereturned.

It was time for him to read my diary… the diary that hemade me promise to write since the day he left me withhopes that he would someday come back to me.

I stood up from my bed and took my bag. Even though Ihadn’t written on it much since the day Hunter returned, Istill brought my diary with me all the time.

I took out all contents of my bag. I scanned through myclothes, however, I couldn’t find what I was looking for.

I turned my bag inside out just to be sure I didn’t just miss it.I tried to remember where and when I had seen it last.And I distinctly remembered putting it in the bag before Iwent to the lake house.

Then I remembered leaving it there,when I took a few pieces of clothes to change to before wewent to the cabin. When we came back to the main house, Ididn’t remember taking it out from my bag at all…