?WINGLESS AND BEAUTIFUL?
?EPISODE 69 ?
She needed to see somebody about handling her emotions
properly. I know suicidal instincts when I see the signs.
I was the girl whose mother killed herself when things got too much for her to handle.
Hunter locked himself in the master’s bedroom, which
made me feel both worried and glad. I was worried because
he didn’t look happy when Chaise hugged me in front of
him, and glad because I didn’t know how to behave in front
of him and my friends together.
I wish I could tell Hunter about all the waiting I did for
him. I wish I could make him believe that for eighteen long
months, I held on to his promise of coming back to me. My friendship and gratitude for Chaise had nothing to do with
my feelings for him.
I should have told Hunter everything last night, when we
were alone. But now, it’s gotten more complicated with
Denise and Chaise around. I had some serious explaining to
do to them too.
I wanted to be as careful as possible because this would kill Chaise. And I already killed him every day that I couldn’t return his feelings.
When we left, Hunter decided to stay behind. Before I
hopped into Chaise’s car, I looked back and found Hunter
standing in the balcony. He was watching me. I couldn’t
make out the expression on his face. He looked frustrated,
sad and angry all at the same time.
I wanted to come up to him, to tell him that I just
needed a little bit of time to set things right.
“Come on, Chaise. Drive!” Denise called from the carbehind us.
“Alice, let’s go,” Chaise demanded from inside the car.
I looked up at Hunter one last time. He gave me a slight
nod, as if silently giving me permission to go. I gave him a
sad smile and then I hopped inside Chaise’s car.
On the way home, Chaise was silent too. He was happy
to leave me to my own thoughts, while he got lost in his.
When he dropped me off in front of my house, I thanked him
silently. He just nodded and then drove away.
“How was it?” Meredith asked me cheerfully as soon as I
went inside the house.
It took me a minute to snap out of my thoughts and
answer her.
“Okay, I guess,” I replied curtly. Then I headed to my
room.
I changed into a comfortable pair of shorts and a big
baggy shirt. Then I threw myself to bed and took a pillow to cover my face.
A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my arm. I turned and
saw that Meredith was sitting on the side of my bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“Not really.”
“Come on, Alice. I thought you have learned to trust
me,” she said. “I know something was going on. I could see it on your face. Something was bothering you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I sat up on the bed and
stared at her for a long moment.
“Is this about a boy?” she asked.
I sighed. “Boys.”
She was taken back a bit and then she couldn’t help
grinning. “Sweetheart, half the girls your age would kill for a
problem like yours.”
“Well, they’re welcome to take my place any day,” I said
dryly.
Meredith smiled at me gently. “Tell me.”
I didn’t really know where to start except from thebeginning. I told her about my new job, and how I walked those streets alone at nights. Then I told her about Chaise
who was persistent from the beginning and how he stalked
me as I walked home at nights.
But he was doing it with
very good intentions. He was making sure I got home safely.
Then I didn’t see the point of not being honest to
Meredith about the potheads I encountered on the streets
and how they could have had their way with me if Chaise
didn’t come to my rescue.
I saw her flinch but she didn’t
interrupt my monologue. Then I told her how Chaise became
a good friend after that and how he picked me up from work
and took me home every night to make sure I was safe.
Finally, I told her that Hunter returned to school after a
successful corneal transplant and how he was ignoring me
all this time… hating me even.
Then I told her how Hunter
told me that I broke his heart because he thought I was with
Chaise now and didn’t wait for him. Of course, I left out the
part of making out with Hunter while we were left in the
cabin by ourselves.
“I don’t know what to do, Mer,” I said in between tears.
“Chaise had grown dear to me… but only as a friend. I owe
him a lot for saving my life. But I couldn’t return his
feelings.”
“Because of Hunter?”
I nodded. “It will always be Hunter.”
“But because Chaise was on your side like a diligent
boyfriend, anybody would think that something was going
on between the two of you.
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