For all married men and women:

Recently, I watched a good Nigerian movie. The movie was about a young happy couple who had been married for about a year. Everything was fine for them maritally until an ex showed up and was trying to return to the wife. That latest development upset the harmony of that marriage. In fact things started falling apart. The ugly experience in that movie is real in many marriages. So today I will address it. This is a lengthy article, please accept my apologies in advance.

Marriage means the CESSATION of any form of amorous love relationship with other people (whether past, present or even future). Your spouse is THE only one you’re to deal with henceforth till death do you part. The ex, no matter who they were to you, how special they made you feel or the fantastic memories you still have for them, or the soft spots you still have for them, by virtue of marriage, they now BELONG TO YOUR PAST. And there is no going back on that. Honestly, there isn’t and mustn’t.

As a married person, the return of an ex into your life isn’t a good omen. That return means nothing but troubles for your marriage because no spouse will fold their arms and watch an ex show up out of the blues to take what rightfully belongs to them or even scatter their home or marriage. Friends, in most cases, there will be war. I mean third world war (WW3). And you must avoid it by all means.

As a married person, letting your ex still be in contact with you or allowing them be around you is courting troubles. You do no longer have business with them. And you mustn’t be afraid to let your spouse know about their resurgence and actions.

Sometimes it baffles me when I see some spouses fret when their ex shows up and want them back. Of course, it’s typical of an ex to show up and desiring to revive a past relationship. But what should not happen is fretting about their actions; just tell your spouse about it. I can almost hear someone say to me, “Come on Coach Joshua, you’re kidding me. How do you expect my spouse to take it? In fact, he will interpret the whole scenario as me still having something to do with that ex or I want to go back to them.” Really? Have you ever cheated on your spouse before for them to wanting to think that way?

Alright, if you inform your spouse about your ex sudden resurgence and plans and they feel bad or even react negatively to you about the whole thing, then know that you married an immature person. By the way, what do they expect the ex to do other than what they are doing? Dear spouse, if you know who you married, if you’re a mature person, if you have ever trusted your spouse on issues, then trust them on this one. It’s an immature person who says, “I can’t trust my spouse on their ex issues”. A God fearing spouse, a spouse who truly loves you, a spouse who understands marriage and the gimmicks of an ex, won’t let you down. They will put that ex where they belong.

Now to spouses who still have the tendencies to go back to their ex should they return and want them back, I must tell you the bitter truth here:

* If that ex loved you that much they should have married you then. Why the sudden love now that you’re married to someone else?

* As a married person, a returning ex is an enemy of your marriage.

The problem with many married persons is that they’re either ignorant of this fact or are insincere with themselves and their spouses. Dear spouse, should my ex shows up today and says she wants me back, I won’t fret for one second. Trust me, I will inform my spouse about her resurgence and plans. And should my wife’s ex shows up and want her back, trust me, I will not lose my sleep one second or will my blood rise over that. Do you know why? I know whom I am and know who my wife is. If the issue of resurging ex poses a problem let alone a serious problem in your marriage, then you both need to grow up emotionally and maritally some more because your marriage is still very shaky.

One day a former course mate of my wife called her on the phone after over ten years they parted ways. Still single and financially comfortable than I was then, he told my wife that he loves her so much, that he has always loved her but that he wanted to make money first before coming to marry her. My wife informed him that she is married, but the guy kept calling her, telling her to leave me and come marry him. The drama lasted for a week as the guy kept calling in the morning, afternoon and evening, even sometimes late at night. My wife informed me about the guy and his actions. I was normal. Never fret one bit. Never suspected my wife. Never threatened to divorce her should she continue talking to the guy. In fact, I wasn’t much involved in that. Since I trust her, I let her handle it by herself. One night around that guy called again. This time around my wife and I were together having an intimate chat in the bedroom. My wife picked the phone and informed him that I was aware of all their conversation from day one. She told him never to call her line again. That was the end of that nonsense as he never called. This is like 3 years on.

Dear spouse, beware of an ex or a returning ex. If you allow them, they will ruin your marriage and you will have yourself to blame at the end of the day. Marriage means the cessation of ex. I am a married man and I am committed to my wife alone. Dear married friends, do you share same sentiment? Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.

See you at the top!

Your friend,

Coach Joshua

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