“Dad, can you loan me Five Hundred Thousand Naira?” Kola asked his father.
“What for son?”, his father asked.
“For my wedding. By our calculations, we’re falling short
meeting the cost”.

Kola had come to meet his parents with his fiancé.
“Your wedding? How much is the total cost of the wedding?”, his father asked.
“N3.6 million. We’re thinking of starting the committee next week. We can together give about eight hundred thousand and expect our friends to help us raise about two million. I remember you told me if ever I need help I can come to you” Kola answered.

His father held him by the shoulder and said
“Go get your wife and come meet me at my study room”.
“Yes dad”, Kola obliged.
Minutes later, Kola and his fiancé,Tomilayo walked into his father’s study room.
“Having a good time my daughter?” Kola’s
father asked.
“Yes I am. You and your wife are so hospitable. I pray that Kola and I can emulate your marriage. You are an admirable couple” answered Kola’s fiance.
“Thank you. I am delighted to have you as my daughter. This is your home, you’re welcome anytime”, said father.
They sat down.
“Thank you dad”
“So, I hear you want to spend N3.6 million for your wedding and you need me to help with five hundred thousand?”, asked father.
“Yes, we will greatly appreciate” said the fiancé.
“The wedding will be at the Total Garden Ibadan in about six months time”, said Kola.
“Why do you want to have a big wedding?”,
father asked.

“Well, it’s our big day. She’s always dreamt of a big wedding”, Kola replied.
“Have you dreamt of a big wedding or a strong marriage?”, The father asked the fiancé.
“When you put it that way, it’s more of a strong marriage” said the fiancé.
“Good. You’ve answered wisely. So who do you expect to come for your wedding?”, asked the father.
“Friends and relatives. About seven hundred people”, answered Kola.

“How many true friends do you really have?”,
I mean friends who have been tried and tested to be there for you through thick and thin?, asked the father.
Kola and Tomilayo looked at each other.
“Countable”, the fiancé answered.
“So who are these other people who will come to your wedding?”, asked the father.
“OK. Let’s go to the relatives. I know you love your relatives, but how many are really close to you? You barely talk with the many relatives you have”, said the father.

“What are you trying to say dad?” asked Kola.
“My son, my daughter; why do you want to spend N3.6 million on a wedding, a one day event yet you need the money in your marriage? Look, you are actually coming to ask me for money, you will form a
committee to ask people for money; all to show off and please people who will not even matter in your marriage”

The father continued, “Let me share with you my experience.

When I married your mother, we spent about a million for the wedding. That was a lot of money then. We fed people, got stressed by service providers, just so that we put up a wedding that will win the applause of a crowd. But as soon as we got married, the crowd disappeared. All the issues that your mother and I went through, no one cared, even family couldn’t do much. Every one is busy living their life. When things got tough, the crowd gossiped about us, some even seemed happy that our marriage was in trouble” Silence.

“I have seen this script repeated over and over. Brides get stressed on their wedding day, they can’t even enjoy, couples being angry at friends who don’t support them financially, the worst part is starting marriage in debt or struggling financially.
Do you know a wedding doesn’t have to cost so much, it doesn’t have to be stressful, it doesn’t have to be full of people who perhaps will never talk to you again?” added the father.
“But dad, what will people think if we do a small wedding or we don’t invite them?”asked the fiancé.
“Are you getting married for people? If you have a small wedding with only the witnesses who matter, will you two not be married? What is all this competition of who has a grand wedding for?

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