?Pretty’s On The Inside?
[The World thinks She’s ugly but He sees her Beauty?]
By; Authoress Kamara
Episode 15
?Xavier Marion?
“Why do you think a guitar would be much better?”. He asked crossing his arms as he stood up.
“Well I guess it will suit your voice. I always use my guitar whenever I sing an emotional song”.
His expression softened. “You play the guitar?”.
“Y-Yeah”. I stuttered.
And then he paused staring at me , before handing the guitar over to me making me surprised.
“Play for me”.
I stared at him stunned finding it hard that he could actually say that. He handed the guitar over to me making it brush against my fingers.
“You want me to play for you?”. I asked still surprised.
Not a response.
I took in a deep breath before taking the guitar from his hands. I stared it wondering how a simple guitar could be as beautiful as this.
It was exquisite with the designs on the fretted keyboard looking all ancient yet it showed that it had feminine touches on it.
“Be careful with it”. Xavier spoke up with his voice sounding musical. “Its something special to me, I don’t like the idea of losing her”.
“Her?”. I snickered. “You also name your musical instruments that you use?”.
He looked at me and I gasped realising that I just said that out loud to his hearing.
Oh Jeez! Paris! You really need to keep your mouth shut.
“I didn’t name her. My Mum did”. He said quietly having this expression on his face.
“Ooh”.
I glance up at him around the same time he gave me a brief look at me and he quickly looked away.
Huh! Wait!
Was he actually … ?
Xavier cleared his throat. “So are you singing or can I have my guitar back?”.
“Ooh, right”. I mutter. “So what song?”.
“Any type”.
“So should I sing any of your__”.
“You like music, don’t you?”. He asked all of a sudden cutting me off.
“I just don’t like music, music is my life, its my passion, I have this enthusiasm that I always feel whenever music is played”.
A smile curved on his lips. “I love music too”.
“I can tell”.
“Well I can tell yours too. I saw it in you the moment you stepped out to sing moments ago”.
“But you didn’t let me finish the song”. I reminded him of it.
“That, that song … It … “. He trailed off as he looks into space. “I have a bad history with that song”.
“Then why did you sing it?”.
“At that time, I felt it was the right thing to do, I felt it was only right to just outburst my hidden emotions, to tell the world what I felt at that time”. He said looking sad. “At last, it turned out to be a bad choice”.
I watched him as he stared into blank space after speaking. He seemed to be in trance, maybe remembering what might have happened to him.
“So you were about to sing?”. He asked as his voice turned all cold like he never just talked to me about something private.
I look down at the guitar as I began tapping the strings before strumming it and then I hum along to the lyrics.
?I don’t look like her
?She’s in the magazines, so much prettier than me
?You don’t know it hurts, staring at my iPhone screen, watching others live their dreams
?But mama, she said to me. One day, my love, you’ll see
?That Pretty’s On The Inside, see it in your own eyes, look a little closer in the mirror tonight.
Tears filled my eyes as I remembered how i got to compose this lyrics. How other girls bullied me back in Britain just because of my looks.
How I reminded myself that Pretty’s On The Inside but none of that worked.
It never works.
“You can stop singing if its emotional for you”. Xavier said making me stop.
“Its okay”. I sniffed drying my tears. “Its my song, I composed the lyrics myself. I should be able to sing this to the end”.
“But it gets to a point where you need to stop and just let the tears flow”.
He stood up from his seat and grabbed the guitar away from my hand gently as I gave it to him willingly.
He sat back on his chair watching me as I wiped my tears with the back of my hand feeling vulnerable in front of him.
“So you think you are ugly?”. He asked startling me.
“W-What?”.
“Whats your reason for this song? What were you thinking about? Did you sing it because others think you are ugly or what ?”.
“No”. I said quietly.
He stared at me into the eyes. “Then why ?”.
“I just … “. I trailed off realizing that all what he said were right.
Its not my fault.
The way people degrade me whenever I try to have a conversation with them or when I walk pass them.
They always laugh and stare.
And I’m like, its not my fault that I became ugly.
Ever since that accident, my life never was the same again.
“Seems like I sent you into deep thoughts”.
I jerk back to reality as he says that making me look at him. Xavier leaned back on the swivel chair as we both glanced at each other.
“I haven’t said this to anyone but your voice is beautiful”. He continued. “And that only makes you beautiful”.
“Its not that simple to pronounce me as beautiful, you might say that but not every one will agree to that “.
He shrugged. “So? You think you are ugly because of those scars? Well I think that its just natural beauty”.
I sat still stunned.
“I have two younger sisters, Paris”. He told me as he strummed his guitar. “Diamond and Chelsea. Chelsea is still little while the other one is sixteen”.
“I’ve seen Diamond. On the internet, that is, she’s a songwriter, right? And youngest grammy winner?”.
“Yeah, a bright little sixteen year old. But thats not all her story, Diamond is a terrible singer and I know that she’ll give anything just to have a voice like yours”.
“Ooh”. I mutter not knowing where this was going to.
Xavier looked at me. “Back when Diamond was still in middle school, she was always mocked at the school’s talent show for having a frog voice”.
“Does she really have a frog voice?”.
“Oh yeah”. He snickered. “But now she’s the best songwriter ever. All what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t listen to what others are thinking about you. Diamond did not even pay attention to the crowd that mocked her, rather she went to write songs “.
“I never knew all that about her”.
“And now those girls that always mocked her back in middle school are clamoring for her attention”.
“I guess thats karma”.
“It isn’t just karma. Paris, in life, you will always have a group of people to envy you”.
“Mine isn’t just a group of people”. I retort back. “Its everyone. They all think that I’m ugly and I can’t take that. It hurts so bad”.
“The world might think you are ugly but I see your beauty”.
I stared at him and in that split second, it seemed like I finally found someone who will understand me.
He cleared his throat. “So that thing that you were telling me? About using guitar instead of a piano to play?”.
I nodded fiddling with my fingers realizing that he changed the subject on purpose.
Which kind of hurts though. A little.
“Yeah”. I say quietly still standing over by the door.
He popped a bubble gum into his mouth cutely as I admired his features. His eyes cutely sparkled silver as his curly hair was weaves back in a fashioned manner.
He wore white track suits with diamond studded shoes and a diamond earring on his left ear.
He had this handsome look.
This killer features.
His tattoos were evident running down his neck into his tracksuit.
He looked so attractive.
No wonder a guy couldn’t even resist him.
But how did he understand what I’m going through. How did he understand what the whole song lyrics was about?
He strummed the strings of the guitar while chewing the bubble gum quietly tapping his foot on the floor according to the beat.
I smiled as he started with his angelic voice.
?Picture Perfect. You don’t need no filter.
?Gorgeous, make ’em drop dead. You a killer
?Shower you with my attention
?Yeah, this are my only intentions
?Stay in the__
“Xavier?”.
He stopped immediately as I turned back on hearing the voice who interrupted him.
I widened my eyes surprised to see Samuel coming in through another entrance.
He walked further into the music room as I remained rooted to my spot not knowing what to do as Xavier dropped his guitar on the table quietly ignoring Sam’s presence.
Sam paused looking first at Xavier then at me as I suck in my breath expecting worse to happen.
.
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