THE CHAT ROOM SEASON 2 : PART 1 – THE END

THE CHAT ROOM SEASON 2 : PART 1 – THE END

PART FOUR

By Temi Akintade

“It’s been fourteen years don’t you think you should meet with her and forgive her?” Mama Judith asked. I was currently in her place for the weekend just as she suggested.

Hadassah was speaking to one of their neighbour’s daughter who was around her age. While I was in the sitting room scrolling through the tv station.

“I have forgiven her ma. But to meet with her, I cannot! It is something I have made up my mind not to do.” I was referring to sister Dorcas.

Since the last time she called me, she has been calling ever since. Apologizing for her past actions and pleading to see me. To which I insisted on not seeing her.

“Okay if you say so. Would you at least come to our love feast this evening?” She asked.

“To do what? Look, I’m 32 o! I’m not looking for who to marry yet.” I chuckled and settled for a movie channel.

“Thank God you said yet. Because my God is about to settle you in a grand style.” Mama Judith jumped on her feet.

“My priority, for now, is my daughter. The last person I dated told me to choose between him and my daughter. I can’t let that happen again.

If any man is not ready to love me and my daughter, then he is not worth it.” I said with a tone of finally. Brief images of my past relationship flashed through my mind.

“A man who would love you and care for you and Hadassah is already by the corner okay?” She touched my shoulder and squeezed it. “Let’s go to church for the love feast.”

I nodded and beckoned to Hadassah to dress up. It was while we were dressing up that Hadassah suddenly popped a question that got me stunned.

“Why are you suddenly asking me this question? Sixteen years after giving birth to you Hadassah?” I pushed the powder aside and focused on her face.

She kept staring right at me, unflinching. As though he has been born ready to ask me this biting question.

“I am sixteen mom! And I really feel I should know my roots.

Where I’m from. I want to know who I am. I’m sorry if this hurts you but I want to know. I feel like I’m old enough to know who my father is.” She sat on the 6 inches sized bed with floral bedsheets.

I scoffed and released a dry laugh. “Who put you up to this Hadassah?”

“No one did! The girl I just met kept telling me of how she met her father and how that her father happened to be a senator. And so I began to imagine that what if-”

“What if your father was a senator abi? Have you ever imagined if your father was dead, or mad? Have you ever even imagined if he really wanted you?”

“Mum. I just want to have a conversation but you are yelling already. I wanted us to talk.” She shuddered.

Blinded by my fury, I didn’t care that my voice could be heard by mama Judith who has just walked into the room demanding what the problem was.

“I have been your father and your mother all at the same time. Feeding and clothing your selfish self! And you stand here, telling me that you are stupidly grown enough to know who your birth father is?

How dare you Hadassah! Since when did you become irrational with thinking?” My nose flared and my eyes widened. I stormed to my feet.

Mama Judith was holding me back while Hadassah was wiping the tears that fell freely from her eyes and holding back her long brains, refraining them from getting in her face.

“I have been a rational thinker mum and you know it!” She flung back.

My jaw dropped. “Did you just see how she talked back at me!” I pointed at mama Judith. “You have been a rational thinker but you almost got yourself stupidly sexed by a nonentity if not for God’s intervention!

Look at how composed the pastor’s daughter is- you cannot compose yourself that way. You are now telling me you are rational how?”

Suddenly the room fell silent as though I had just stepped on a piece of ice. Hadassah stared at me wide-eyed as though I shouldn’t have said what I just said. But I was her mother and I have every right to.

“The pastor’s daughter smokes cocaine mum! And she is a lesbian who is just hiding it away from her parents and the church!” She broke into tears. “Just stop comparing me, mum!” She stormed out of the room with teary eyes.

I dropped on the bed and dropped my head in my hands.

“You are doing so many things wrong, Paulina. This is not how to be a good mother.” Mama Judith stressed.

“Being a mother is hard ma. Sometimes I hate the fact that I wasn’t patient enough to wait before giving birth to her.” Tears filled my eyes.

“Always ask God to teach you how to be a mother. Remember children are gifts from God so you can’t train them the way you want to but the way God wants you to.

You exposed your daughter’s secret to her face and compared her to another. All these are wrong Paulina.

What you discussed with your daughter should stay between you two and it should be in the past. Put yourself in her shoes wouldn’t you like to know who your birth father is? You should speak to your daughter.

Have a conversation with her. Meanwhile, get ready for the love feast.” She left me to wallow in my self-pity.

Grudgingly we dressed up for the love feast. “Why don’t you wear the black jeans it’s more suitable for outings like this.” I tried to see if my statement would break the tensed atmosphere but it didn’t.

Hadassah simply grabbed the black jeans and wore them without acknowledging me. It was my subtle way of saying sorry but then she would never understand that mothers would always feel too big to apologize.

We got to the church in the evening at about 6 PM. The pastor was already preaching on love by the time we got there.

THE CHAT ROOM SEASON 2 : PART 1 – THE END

A few minutes later, the church was split into mini-groups for the love feast. Mama Judith and I were in one group while Hadassah was in another.

I looked back and saw her chatting and smiling with some tall lanky boy around her age. I was supposed to be annoyed but then, I remembered what mama Judith had told me about training a child.

My eyes strolled to her beautiful features instead. It was obvious that she took Tayo’s pointed nose and my face. She was a pretty version of me. I wish I could tell her that.

Soon I turned back to focus on my group. Mama Judith had brought some snacks so she shared them while another woman began to share her jollof rice and chicken.

While we were passing plates around, with spoons fighting with the plates, and noise of clattering everywhere, someone touched my shoulder willing me to turn. Mama Judith broke into a broad smile on seeing the person.

But by the time I looked to see who it was, my heart fell. I became crestfallen and annoyed all at the same time. Why didn’t mama Judith tell me that he was going to be here?

“Paulina. It’s been fourteen years! Where have you been? Meanwhile, you have an intelligent daughter.” The bearded man grinned.

If it wasn’t for his average height and familiar warm eyes, I would never have imagined seeing Frank in a place like this. I gave mama Judith my plate and rose to my feet. I felt a sudden rush of familiar feeling.

Memories of how he helped me throughout my pregnancy period played on my mind. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much he has changed and grown all at the same time.

I wanted to ask him how he had managed to grow so handsome and how he had managed to grow his once scanty beard but it seems my throat got stuck with words.

We simply stared at each other. It took me a while before I noticed that he had Hadassah’s hand in his. A small frown flickered across my face.

“How did you know Hadassah?” I shifted my gaze to him.

“It’s not too difficult to know that she’s yours. She’s got your pretty face.” He grinned.

My lips were almost failing me, wanting to tug into a small smile but I forced them together. I cleared my throat instead. “Impressive! It’s been a while. Frank.” I said with a tight-lipped smile.

THE CHAT ROOM SEASON 2 : PART 1 – THE END

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