When I Newly Got Wedded

Written by:
Oluwanishola Akeju Whitehead

When I newly got wedded, I had the believe that all a man needed to do is to work, so he can provide for his family.

So I do work hard. I did extra jobs too; make provisions and live a life I have always wanted.

Having done my part as a man, I was expecting my wife to be perfect in her own role in the home also even though she was into her own personal creative work.

Whenever I get home; I would sit, relax and wait to be served. It wasn’t as if I was completely handicapped but I don’t really get engaged in the major house chores.
After all, the hardest part of living is to provide. My thought!

One day, I got back early, I was famished and I told my wife to prepare me something. She simply asked me to get bread and drink in other to buy more time before she makes dinner.
That reply was the second in three days.

I didn’t like that. I was displeased.
I got the bread.
After few minutes. She went to the kitchen. It was too soon for someone who needed to buy time.
But I guess she noticed I was displeased.

Afterwards, She would just do her thing, make food, arrange things to make me voiceless. And we lived on.

I returned from work that day and right from the door I was perceiving a smell of a burning food.

I quickly rushed to the kitchen to put the light off before I will go and face my wife who is so carefree to have forgotten to check the food.

My first step in the kitchen, i saw my wife sitting on a stool, with her arms folded leaning on a cupboard asleep. I put the cooker off and angrily tapped her. She didn’t wake up. I tapped her well again. No response.
I did again. No response still. I got scared. I notice she was breathing.
I quickly called for another hand and we took her to a nearby clinic.

The medical personnel told me, she lacked rest and have over worked herself, the cause of the unconsciousness.

He said lack of rest could lead to HBP, Heart attack, irregular heartbeat and more.

When we got home. She took her rest.
I began to think what type of work could make her tired but I couldn’t think of any.

So I took two days off from work, to help out till she gets better.

Early in the morning, I quickly prepare food and make pap for our baby(Desire)

She asked if I could bath the baby. I said yes. I undress the baby. Soaked the clothe and bath for her.

To dress her up, I don’t even know the clothes to pick. She had to help out.

Then she asked if I can help feed the baby. I said yes.

‘Feeding baby’ is the most hardest work I have ever done in my life. I ran out of patience.

I held her in my arms and waited till she slept. Then I remembered the soaked clothe. I went to wash together with the ones used the previous day.

The house needed arrangement.
And there was a pot with burnt food needed to be clean with other dishes. At that point, I was hungry and sweating, I had to postpone other things. I took my rest.

While resting, I realized these ‘little little’ house chores were the everyday routine work to be done before my wife eventually have time for herself and business. And She is the type that is dutiful in her business. With all these, she’ll have to get things In the market to prepare food.

Then Something came to my mind saying, “if she continue this way, she will wear-out and one day, you will receive a call that your wife is dead.”
That struck me!

Following on, I decided in my heart to be engaged in ‘home works’ and never, will she be alone in the kitchen.

We both must make that food.
I don’t even need to wait for her.
And I changed.

Most times, I start the cooking and with all joy anyone can see it through.

The kitchen became lively more than the sitting room.
If I’m not helping out. Then I am ‘gisting’ her.

Division of labor makes work easier, faster and enjoyable.

The Kitchen is another world entirely. If it’s lively, then the home is unbreakable.

I didn’t just give her rest, I earned myself more respect and love.

Often times, it’s said that a man needs a helpmate. But the truth is, the woman also needs a helpmate.

And Many of our wives won’t even allow their husband to do the chores or cook because they like to honor them but their interest to support them is all they needed to see.
A way to show appreciation and that they are aware of what they do.