WHITE!!!!;The color of your heart???????????
(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)
Chapter 14
(There is fire on the mountain….run, run, run)
I stared in shock at Dupe, her words floating in the air and ringing in my ears. Blood pounded in my head as I felt sweat begin to build up on my forehead.
What should I do?
What should I do?
I looked around the room frantically, wondering if I could jump out the window and escape through the back entrance, or do I just hide in the cupboard?
I couldn’t face her…..I can’t! What do I do?
What do I…..?!
“Ileri! Didn’t you hear me? I said come downstairs before your mother starts beating mummy Grace!”
Dupe’s frantic yelling brought me out of my anxiety induced attack. I got down feebly from my bed and she grabbed my arm, then began pulling me downstairs with her, my legs moving contradictory to the instructions my brain was giving it to stand still.
As we got closer to the Porter’s station, the shouts and screaming got louder, and I could hear the distinct voice of my mother screaming curses and mummy Grace’s calm voice trying to pacify her.
“Bring her out! Why are you hiding her?! So you are working together ehn?! Are you not a mother Iya Grace?! Your children will treat you this way oh!!!!”
“Abeg Mrs Williams, please, there is no need for curses….Ah, see, Ilerioluwa has come out.”
I turned the corner to see my mother, a tall and imposing woman, the only features on her to attribute her age and years were the wrinkles that had pushed their way onto her once firm skin.
She spotted me and strided over to me, needing to take only two steps to reach me, because of her long legs. As soon as she reached me, she landed a slap on my cheek, then another, then another.
“You ungrateful excuse of a daughter!!! You’ve been in school for how many months now, and you cannot call, or text?!!! What kind of child are you?! Where did I get you from?!” She screamed in my face while tears stung my eyes from the slaps she had given me.
“Mummy Ileri, please calm down……” Mummy Grace began, in a futile attempt to pacify her, but my mother shot her such a fierce and malicious look that the poor woman stepped back.
She pointed her finger at me.
“Listen here you this useless child, you think you’re doing me abi? You think because I struggled to send you to school, you can do whatever you want with my blood sweat and tears? May God punish you! He will punish you, you hear me!” She spat out, as I kept my head bowed, my shoulders trembling.
“Why can’t you be more like your sister, Itunu? Upon the fact that you grew up in the same house, you two have nothing in common!!! Itunu is the perfect child, and you are just an empty hollow wasting my time and money!!”
Tears fell freely from my eyes.
“I-I’m sorry….” I began.
“Sorry for your life! Don’t tell me nonsense! What was your CGPA last semester Ileri?”
“3…..3.9…..” My answer earned me another soap and a resounding “abara” from my mother.
She grabbed my braids tightly and I began to scream in pain.
“You see your life???!!!! Did I send you to school to get 3.9??!!! A whole medical student!!! Itunu’s CGPA was 4.5, 4.5 Ilerioluwa!!! Does she have two heads?!!! Oh!!! Why did God decide to bless me first, and then curse me with an I’m became like you??!!! Oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is it this nonsense on your head that you are using my money to do?!!! So that you can go and open your legs to all those useless boys and get pregn@nt?!! I will teach you a lesson!!” She screamed again, and I wondered how it was possible for her screaming to get louder each time.
She reached for the scissors on mummy Grace’s desk.
“Mummy Ileri please don’t!”
“Mrs Williams no….!”
Dupe and mummy Grace shouted in a desperate effort to stop her, but it was too late.
She began to snip the braids of my hair violently, cutting and yanking till she had successfully hacked most of the braids off.
She stood panting after her action, the silence thick and heavy.
Mummy Grace and Dupe stood with wide eyes, staring at the pieces of attachment that were now strewn all over the floor. I could feel the h0rror in their eyes.
“Stupid girl. Look at what you made me do. Nonsense.” My mother muttered, giving a long hiss and then placing the scissors back on the table.
She eyed me spitefully.
“You’d better thank your sister. She’s the one who pacified me before I came here. If not….If not Ilerioluwa.” She said, clicking her tongue at me.
I knew better than not to take her words lightly.
My sister must have really begged for me.
I knew what my mother could do.
She grabbed her bag, and with one long, final hiss, walked out the door.
Mummy Grace and Dupe stared at me helplessly, and I couldn’t blame them. What were they supposed to do?
They were used to this anyway, almost as much as I was.
Once in awhile, my mother would come and make a ruckus like this at school, especially on holidays when I refused to come home, or whenever she felt like it.
My former hostel on the main campus was the, unfortunate victim of her outbursts, and they almost kicked me out if not for my begging and pleading.
Somewhere along the line of the chain of communication among hostel managers and porters in the school, my picture had been circulating round as the someone porters should avoid giving bed space to.
So when I had moved to the college, I found it hard to get a hostel, but mummy Grace in all her kindness, had given me a bed space after many secret conversations with Feyikemi.
“Ileri….” Dupe began but mummy Grace shook her head, cutting her off and asking her to stay quiet.
“Ileri, dey go your room. Dupe and I go pack the attachment then come give you.” She said softly.
I nodded wordlessly and headed back to my room, tears staining my face.
As soon as I got in, I climbed on my bed, my eyes brimming with more tears.
Why was I even crying?
Shabi I was already used to this.
My mother hated me, and loved my sister, and she made that painfully clear.
That was my relationship, and I was used to this. I has lived my life like this.
So why…..why was I still crying?
Why was I crying?!!!
I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed silently, my mother’s words ringing through my head alongside my brain screaming at me.
I didn’t know when I drifted off to sleep.
I awoke some hours later to my phone ringing.
I wiped my eyes and reached for it, blinking rapidly till my vision became clear enough to see the screen.
Sean was calling me.
Why was he calling?
I hissed, and ignored the call.
The phone rang again, and again, until I got irritated and picked.
“Why are you disturbing me?”
“Well good afternoon to you too.”
“Sean please what do you want? I’m really not in the mood today.”
“What? Are you on your period or something?”
I hissed and cut the call. This boy was playing with me, and I was not in the mood for jokes.
He called again, and this time I switched off my phone, deciding to do some reading.
After all, I had to catch up to Itunu.
Some hours later, as the sun began to set, I switched my phone back on, and there were several missed calls and texts, most of them from Sean.
I felt a dull headache, probably from all my crying, as my textbooks were soaked in tears.
And the feeling of guilt for ignoring Sean’s calls only made it worse. I dialled his line and he picked almost instantly.
“Well, miss Moody. Finally decided to call your servant?”
“S-sorry about that Sean.”
“Ha! Sorry isn’t going to cut it. Did you really think it would be that easy?”
I sighed.
“Okay. What do you want me to do?”
“I’m at that doughnut place near the physics lab. Meet me there.”
He didn’t go home too?
“Meet you keh? I’m not wasting my……”
My words were cut short by a loud screeching, quickly followed by a crash coming from the other end of the phone.
“Sean?! What was that? Was it an accident?”
He didn’t reply, but instead I could hear him muttering under his breath, his breathing getting frantic.
“Sean? What are you saying? Are you okay? Answer me nah!” I said, getting a bad feeling in my stomach.
He still didn’t answer me, and I immediately grabbed my slippers and dashed out of the room.
Sean.
Please be okay.
Please!!!
????
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