She had an older brother too, Nifemi. He had been the oldest at 10. He used to try and help his mother out of the scuffles but when their father started turning on him, he abandoned ship and would run out when the fights started. By the time he was 13, he had joined the boys in their street and would constantly be seen high on weed. By the time their parents died, he was the meanest thug in the area.
She looked back and could not believe how unrelentingly stupid her mother had been. As far as she was concerned, her mother hadn’t loved them. If she had, she would have gotten out of the abusive marriage that eventually destroyed her family. She remembered seeing her uncle at their house for the first time when she was 6, apparently, he had tracked down his sister who didn’t tell any of her family members where she was staying.
It was only after she came to her uncle, she realized the whole story. Her mother had gotten pregnant for one of the neighbourhood mechanics and run off with him. She returned home years later with two children to beg for help from her family telling them the mechanic had been abusing her. Her family members were angry and demanded the father of her children come home so he could settle the issue and marry her properly. He came, looking penitent and remorseful but before they could get any solutions or fix a date for the payment of the bride price, she ran off with him again and proceeded to birth another child.
The abuse only got worse, he was out of work and was a mean drunk, he would call her a prostitute in front of the neighbours, accusing her of sleeping with her male customers whom she sold herbal drinks (agbo) to and tear off her clothes. For years, her brother kept looking for her until he tracked her down to their house. Femi remembered thinking even at her young age that he had very kind eyes and was very excited because he bought bread and biscuits for her and her sister.
Despite her brother’s pleas on behalf of the family, her mother refused to leave her father. Till date she couldn’t tell if it was pride, submissiveness or plain stupidity that had kept her mother with her father for so long. Her Uncle came several times during the next few years and even helped her establish a business and sent her 2 daughters to school. While her sister had been out, Femi had never even gone.
Her brother opening a shop for her to sell minerals caused so much problems between her p between her parents that her mother told her brother not to come to their house again. And he didn’t, not until she died.
When she was 10, Femi realized that her elder sister, who was just 13 had begun mixing with the wrong crowd. She especially liked hanging out with their brother’s crazy friends and it wasn’t long till she got pregnant. In a bid to hide it from their mother, she took the advice of a friend and mixed up the herbal remedies her mother sold and drank them. The next day while Femi went to school, their brother to his joint, their mother to her shop on the next street and their father to his favourite baba ijebu betting spot, her sister stayed home to eject her 3 months old baby.
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