ROSES FOR RACHEL: EPISODES 61-THE END
EPILOGUE
?????
Looking back on that day is always the hardest.
The memory creeps up on me at the strangest times. While I’m taking a shower, or while I’m on my morning run. I’m haunted by our goodbye, but I’m blessed to have had the time I had with him.
Coming to terms with it all had been really hard. When I woke up in the backseat of that black car, a stranger behind the wheel, and the sun beginning to rise on the horizon in front of me, I had a flood of emotions. I was purely devastated that Calvin had sent me away, not giving me the chance to decide for myself what I wanted, but instead, he took my choice, and in turn made me feel unwanted. Then I was angry. For hours in that car I was fuming mad, thinking of all of the missed clues, and knowing so many people around me knew I was just the walking fool. I was nothing but a tiny piece in the game that Gordo had put into motion. I hated him, and for a while, Calvin too, for keeping me in the dark for so long. As I boarded my plane the next day, back home to the US, I started to let go of the resentment…Just a little at a time. The flight was long, and full of tears too. Tears for my lost life, tears for my lost friends, tears for the lives of thousands of other girls just like me, and most of all tears for him…my lost love.
Calvin lied to me, so many times in so many ways, but he loved me too. As hard as it was to wrap my brain around it, I knew it was true, and thinking of myself in his own position, I wasn’t sure how much I would have or could have done differently. I was so angry with him still, right up until the moment that I got off of my flight, and walked into the busy airport terminal in Nevada. Even with all of the hundreds of other people, rushing around and going about their everyday lives like everything was normal, I saw her in the crowd. Her thick strawberry blonde curls, standing out from the rest of the crowd.
My mother.
Vampires may have taken so much from me, but it was Calvin, the man who loved me enough to force me to leave him, even though it undoubtedly caused him enormous pain to do so, who gave me back the most important thing.
Seeing her there, and feeling her familiar embrace made so much of the hurt I’d secretly carried for years and years, evaporate.
Calvin was right, she still lived in the same little house on the corner of Birch Street, and not a thing had been changed. Momma told me that she always believed I was still out there and that she knew one day I’d be coming home to her. She promised not to ask any questions. She explained that she had been contacted a few days prior and told that I would be coming home, and that she knew the circumstances were strange, but that she was just happy I was home.
That night when I curled up into my little blue twin sized bed in my own childhood bedroom, I finally pulled the letter from the envelope.
?
?My beautiful Rachel,
????
I’m not even sure how to start this letter, other than to say how sorry I am. If you’re reading this, it means that I was finally able to be the man you needed me to be, and you’re on your way home to where you belong. I hate myself for all the ways I hurt you, but I hope that one day, you’ll be able to find it in that big heart of yours to forgive me. I know I made so many mistakes, but loving you was never one of them. Please know that my feelings for you are the strongest thing I’ve ever felt, and know that I never lied to you about that. What we had, although fleeting, was the realest and truest of loves, and I can never thank you enough for showing me what it is like to love someone so much that you put their own needs above your own. My hope for you is that you live, Rachel. Live a life without regrets, without questions, without fear. LIVE! Be the strong, radiant, smart, and loving girl that you are! Share your heart with the world. Enjoy the sun, the wind, and the rain. I hope that every day is a new adventure for you, and if you get lost a few times along the way, that’s ok, sometimes getting lost leads you to things you never even knew you wanted to find. I hope that every day is filled with happiness for you, I hope you find love again, I hope that when you do, that that man knows just how lucky he is to have you at his side. I hope you get everything you deserve out of life: happiness, love, laughter, success, and cobbler…don’t forget your cobbler. I vow to you, there will not be a single day that goes by, for the rest of my existence, where you don’t cross my mind. I love you, so much more than you could ever imagine. Wipe away your tears, beautiful girl. Breathe. I love you, Rachel.
?All my love, foralways, Cal ?
Today is my 23 birthday, and just as I expected, a knock on the door wakes me up at exactly 6:00am, just like it has every year on my birthday since I returned home. I quickly tossed aside my yellow comforter and hopped out of bed, grabbing my robe on the way to the door.
I took a deep breath, counted to three, and pulled open my front door with a smile.
Sitting on my welcome mat, just like every other year, was a simple bouquet of red roses. Despite the smile on my face, I never can fight back the little tinge of sadness that they always bring up. I bent down, carefully picking up the crystal vase, and closing the door behind me. I brought the flowers up under my nose, and breathed their scent in deeply.
The first year home had been the absolute hardest adjustment.
It was rocky to say the least, but when my first bouquet of roses came, it really forced me to step it up.
Knowing that Calvin really is still thinking of me, every year making sure I know it, made me want to work that much harder to live the full life I needed to. Of course there were other things that happened in that first year that put things into perspective for me, too.
“Flowers?” A little voice asked from behind me and I turned to see my sweet little brown haired girl with smoky blue eyes, and dimples deep enough to stick coins into standing in the hallway.
She wiped the spot of drool from her chin and blinked up at me sleepily. “Pretty.” She muttered around a yawn as she raised her arms up and her Hello Kitty pajama shirt rose up over her little belly.
I knelt down to tickle her side and she giggled uncontrollably.
“Not just flowers.” I told her, laughing too. “Roses.” I whispered, stopping to glance back over to them.
“Like me?” She asked.
I nodded my head. “Yep, roses just like you, my pretty little Rose.” I smiled at her and tapped her on the nose with my finger.
“For me?” She asked, her eyes dancing over to the bouquet.
I couldn’t help but smile at her. “Yes,” I told her, handing them over carefully, and she grinned from ear to ear. “Put them on your table in your room.” I said. “Both hands.” I added as she began to walk back up the hallway to her room. “Rose?” I called to her and she looked at me.
“I love you.” I sighed, and she grinned again, her dimples digging deep craters in her chubby little cheeks.
“Love you, momma.” She replied before padding back to her room with the roses.
I lingered at the end of the hall for a minute, just thinking about my life. Having a baby alone had been difficult, and when I’d first found out I was pregnant, my mom had insisted I have the pregnancy terminated, but I couldn’t do it.
The thought of something Calvin and I made together not even being given a chance at a life just didn’t feel right. My mom had been reluctant, but she supported my decision, and now Rose had her wrapped around her little finger.
.sometimes there have been guys I’ve tried to get to know, but I always inadvertently end up comparing them to Calvin, and the relationship usually ends soon after. For now, it’s just me and Rose, and I’m alright with that. I have a good life, a full one.
Every day when I get out of bed I am thankful for this life of mine. It’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I can’t bring myself to wish anything had happened any differently.
If I had never been taken, I would have never met Calvin, who despite it all, was everything to me, and without him, I’d never have gotten my beautiful little, Rose, without whom, I am sure I wouldn’t have been able to face some days.
One day, when she is old enough, I will tell her the truth. I don’t want to ever hold anything back from her, or take away her choices like mine were.
One day, when the time comes, should she wish to meet her father, I will not hold her back.
For now, though, I will enjoy every second I have with her, loving her with everything I’ve got, because she deserves the world.
Calvin has taken care of us from afar. The roses each year are the closest he’s come to contacting me at all, but every month there is money deposited into my bank account, without any explanation.
I assume he knows about Rose, but I know he’d respect my wishes, staying away from her until it’s the right time.
Sometimes, when I’m alone at night, I like to imagine what that day will be like, if she decides she wants to meet him.
I imagine taking her to meet him in some special place, and I picture the look on his face when he sees us for the first time, but my daydreams never go further than that.
I can’t allow myself to think of such things. The pain becomes too heavy when I think of him too long.
I have to keep my mind busy, which with a toddler, is not a hard thing to do, but he creeps in. Calvin is always there, lurking in the back of my mind.
Sometimes I want to book a flight and go to him so badly, but I know that I can’t.
Not only because I have no idea how to find Castrum de Petra, but because it would just open up all of the old wounds that already took so long to heal. He was right, as he usually is.
There is never going to be a life for me there, not as a human, and I can’t become like him.
Having people die to keep me alive would never be something I could come to terms with, and so I have to stay away.
I heard giggling coming from Rose’s room and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. Calvin gave me two of the greatest gifts you can get in life.
MUST READ : HOME REMEDIES FOR MENSTRUAL PAIN
He was my truest love. A strong, heart wrenching love, that formed me into the woman I am today, and he blessed me with that sweet little girl down the hall.
“Mommy!” Rose called. “Come play!”
I laughed under my breath.
I regret nothing.
? The END ?
MUST READ : HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM CANCER
Thanks everyone for going through this
Lovely story,{by painter}
really appreciate your time and Effort
Thanks for the lovely comment
Thanks?
READ ALSO : BEAUTY WITHIN
ROSES FOR RACHEL: EPISODES 61-THE END
*******************
NOTE: Searching for any story? Just go to google browser or any search engine, then type the title of the story with ‘thingscouplesdo’ for example. (Farida episode 1 thingscouplesdo).
Always check this site to read wonderful stories, you will like them all. Please, tell your friends who like reading about this site. We shall be posting lovely stories on this site everyday.
Thingscouplesdo