ROSES FOR RACHEL: EPISODES 61-THE END
Episode 63
Calvin stood up, pacing back and forth in front of my chair.
“Look, I told you before that when I first smelled your scent, I wrote you off. I didn’t think there was going to be a future with us, so I…well, I drank the blood samples from all of the other girls.” He said balling his fists as he spoke. “I was particularly drawn to Lexton’s after I tasted it.” He admitted. “So much so, that when the servants tried to bring me more of everyone’s the next night…I requested that I only be brought hers.” He sighed, and I could feel my fingers shaking in my lap, echoing the shakiness of my breath. “This was before you and I started anything, Rachel. You weren’t anything to me then, just a…”
“Human.” I said hollowly.
Calvin stopped in his tracks and pulled his hands through his hair. “That isn’t what I was going to say!” He insisted, but I didn’t believe him. “I never thought you and I were going to happen.
You were so unhappy here and constantly fighting me and everyone else, so I didn’t think anything about it when I allowed myself to…I’ve only drank her blood since she came here, even when I went away, Rachel, I took a supply.” He covered his face with his hands. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be to hear that, but I promised to be honest with you.”
I finally looked up at him. “You’re right.” I whispered. “You have no idea how shitty it feels.”
He took a step towards me again, but I turned my head and he stopped, going back to his pacing. “I enjoyed her company, and I think of her as a friend, but I’m…the only way I can describe it is like a craving, a strong craving that makes me go a little crazy in her presence.”
“I don’t want to hear anymore.” I snapped, standing up from my seat and walking towards the door.
Calvin cut me off, standing in my way and looking at me with so much sadness, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for him this time. “I have to tell you the rest.” He said so low I hardly could hear him. “The night that you and I got into that fight, when you almost klled yourself with that elixir…After I left you, I was so upset, Rachel.
I was hurt and not thinking and I went to her. We…we kssed.” He said in a rush, then held his hands up to me. “Nothing else like that has ever happened between us, we only kssed the one time, but there is something else.”
I snorted a laugh. “What else could there be?” I shot back.
“I drank from her.” He said sheepishly. “If I could take it back, I would, but I drank from her and when you drink from a human that has an emotional connection to you already, something happens where they just…they want you.” He tried to explain. “It’s like something about my bite intensifies her feelings for me.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the ceiling again. “I wish I’d never drank her bI.ood, Rachel, and I really wish I’d never drank from her directly, because now she feels attached to me and my cravings are only that much stronger.”
I felt anger, disgust, and betrayal, but most of all I felt jealous.
I hated myself for it, but it was eating me up from the inside out. I stomped up to him, and slapped him as hard as I could across the cheek.
He turned his face away from me, then slowly he let his guilty eyes meet mine again. “I want you to drink from me.” I said angrily and his eyes widened.
“No.” He said shaking his head and taking a step back.
I followed him, getting into his face. “Yes!” I insisted. “You drank from some other girl, and now you two are blood bonded, and she thinks she has some kind of hold over you, which obviously she does, so I want you to drink from me too.” I said in a rush. “I don’t want you to drink her blood anymore.”
“I won’t do it, Rachel.” He said lowly, but seriously. “If you don’t want me to drink her blood, that’s fine, it may be hard, but I will do it.” He told me. “But I will not drink from you. Ever.”
I started crying again, feeling twice as stupid now. Not only did my husband have some weird bond with another girl, but he refused to drink my blood, which in itself was just an insane thought. “Why not, Calvin?” I asked. “If you love me, and not her, you would.” I knew how pathetic and desperate my words sounded, but they came out of my mouth anyway.
He stepped forward, holding my face carefully and his eyes baring into mine. “I will not ever drink from you, Rachel.” He repeated slowly. “I don’t want to be bI.ood bonded with you.
I don’t want to crave your blood all the time, it’s dangerous, I want to crave your touch.” He whispered. “I don’t want to have to wonder if the feelings you have for me are real or not, I want to know you love me.”
I only cried harder at his confession, my insides feeling like they were all caving in on each other. I’m not this girl. I had to remind myself over and over.
I don’t want to be a vampire, I never wanted to fall for a vampire, and I especially never wanted to beg a vampire to drink from me because I was feeling insecure.
“Leave.” I said softly.
He held my face in his hands, trying to read my expression. “Rachel, I love you, so much. I am so sorry I hurt you, but I only kept it a secret because I didn’t want to hurt you more.” He professed. “You have to believe me, I never would have done the things I did if I knew that you were going to be mine. I never wanted to hurt you, and I still need to te-.”
“Leave.” I repeated, turning my face away. “I need some time to myself, Calvin. I want you to leave me alone.”
He dropped his hands from me and stood motionless. “Rachel, I don’t want to leave things like this…I want to resolve it, I need to know you forgive me.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I don’t forgive you right now.” I snapped. “I need some time, Calvin.
This is a lot for me to just now be finding out about, then add this to the fact that you and Pedro are still being secretive, and you both didn’t even trust me to know the passcode to get out of here.” I gasped for breath. “You are still keeping me here as a prisoner.”
“No, Rachel!” He insisted. “I will show you the way and give you everything you need to have to leave if that’s what you want, but please, Rachel you need to-.”
“No!” I shouted. “You don’t tell me what I need. I want you to leave me alone right now. I will come find you when I am ready to talk to you, but right now is not the time. I don’t want to say something I might regret later, so I need you to leave.”
He looked torn, but he groaned, running his hands through his hair again and stomped out of the room.
Once he was gone I could finally feel things the way I needed to without having the added pressure of protecting his feelings and not wanting to look mental in front of him.
My whole body felt like it was shaking as I let out a low scream and started ripping the blankets and pillows off of the bed, throwing them all over the room frantically.
I plopped down on the floor in the wad of our sheets and cried it out like I haven’t done in a long time.
Picturing Calvin drinking from Lexton made my stomach turn somersaults, and thinking about how she looked at him like she was so crazy in love with him burned my insides, but after a long while, the tears slowed, the anger drained, and reason came back.
ROSES FOR RACHEL: EPISODES 61-THE END
Click 4 below to continue reading