THE MIRACLE I NEED : Episode 11 – 20
EPISODE 15
“You still have the mind to sleep?” Prisca asked as she walked into Kimberly’s bedroom and opened the window blind to let sunlight into the room.
“Go away! Shouldn’t you be in church?” Kimberly said sleepily as she turned her face to the other side of the room.
“I went for first service so I’m back already. That’s all the more reason I’m surprised you’re still in bed.”
“What are you doing?” Kimberly asked when Prisca jumped on her bed and pulled the pillow from under her head.
“Waking you up. You have less than a week to get a man, and as your friend and personal assistant I can’t let you sleep away the days. We have to make plans.” Prisca said making Kimberly frown as she sat up on the bed to look at Prisca.
“What plans? Didn’t we already agree we would get any man of our choice with my money?” Kimberly asked as she yawned.
“Abeg be closing your mouth when yawning, see how you ruined the atmosphere with your bad morning breath.” Prisca hissed as she shifted away from Kimberly’s side making her giggle.
“Sorry. So?”
“Well it’s not like there is a market in Nigeria or anywhere in the world you can just go to and shop for a man. So we have to think about where to get the right man, and we can’t do that without at least knowing what you want your ideal man to look like.” Prisca explained as she picked up her pen and jotter from the foot of the bed which Kimberly hadn’t noticed earlier.
“You know me well enough to know the kind of guys I like. Plus I’d like it to be a one year deal abeg, just until my father wins the elections. No one would care if I get divorced after that.” Kimberly said with a shrug.
“Just one year?”
“Yeah. We could create some kind of drama and scandal. I’d say he is an abuser and beats me up, that way the public would feel sorry for me when we get divorced and not lash out at my family.” Kimberly said thoughtfully.
“You are not even married yet you’ve already come up with a way to end the marriage.” Prisca said in disbelief.
“What else do you want me to do? I don’t think I’m cut out for all that marriage thing in as much as I envy those who are married.” Kimberly said with a shrug as she stood up from her bed stark nked, picked up her sleeping robe and headed for her bathroom.
“You never can tell, you just might fall in love with whoever we pick.” Prisca said making Kimberly roll her eyes.
“Is this a Nollywood movie? Shey if it was that easy that yeye Pete wouldn’t have fallen in love with me? Since you didn’t let me sleep, let me just brush so we can have breakfast, what did you fix?” Kimberly asked as she took out her toothbrush.
“As your house girl abi?” Prisca asked with a hiss.
“I pay you far more than most people pay their personal assistant or house girl. And no madam would place an order for human hair of over a hundred thousand naira for her house girl before going to bed.” Kimberly called back making Prisca hurriedly stand up.
“Wait, you’ve placed the order for that wig?” She asked excitedly.
Kimberly spat out the paste in her mouth, “Seeing as you wanted it bad enough to even strike a deal with me for it, I figured I get it for you.” Kimberly said with a grin when she saw the way Prisca jumped up happily.
“What do you want to eat? Just tell me anything you’re craving right now and I’ll fix it.” Prisca said tugging on Kimberly’s free arm.
“I’ll just have tea and toast this morning while we discuss the marriage stuff and business. You can make Banga soup and starch later.” Kimberly said before pushing Prisca out of the bathroom, “I’ll join you at the dining once I’m done.” She said before shutting the door.
Thirty minutes later Kimberly stepped out of her bedroom dressed in a red strapless polka dot playsuit, to meet Prisca who had finished setting the table for breakfast.
“So I was thinking about it while I was bathing, he has to be tall, light skinned and very attractive, dimples are welcome on his face too. He should have a good sense of humor, not a talkative, he should…”
“Hian! You’re sure I shouldn’t get you clay so you mould him yourself?” Prisca who had picked up a pen to jot down all Kimberly was saying, asked as she dropped the pen.
“Why? These are normal things nau. Shey I’m just telling you my spec?” Kimberly asked as she picked up the bread and started eating while Prisca helped her prepare the tea exactly as she liked it.
“Are you sure you just want to marry him for a year? Cause I’m wondering why you stressing me with all these plenty details for someone you’ll only be with for a year.” Prisca said.
“So because it’s only for a year I should settle for someone ugly? How are we going to do it anyway? Are we going to announce on Twitter that I need a husband or I should use these newspapers and put it in job vacancy section?” Kimberly asked Prisca curiously.
“No abeg. The last thing we want is for thieves, fk boys or Yoruba demons to apply. How about we go to a different part of Lagos? Let’s go to somewhere lowkey around the mainland, we could even change your make-up so no one recognizes you, and then we can pick a random stranger.” Prisca suggested.
“That’s not a bad idea at all. So are we like going to the club or a church? Where exactly can we find the type of guy I want?” Kimberly asked.
“On the streets of Lagos. We need someone who will need this money desperately enough to be willing to do what you want. So let’s take tomorrow off work and go husband hunting tomorrow.”
THE MIRACLE I NEED : Episode 11 – 20
__________
Pete couldn’t believe what he had just done as he returned into the house carrying the tray of food with him. He prided himself in being a very reasonable person, and one who never got easily provoked, but Kathleen seemed to bring out the worst side of him.
“I am petty and petty is me? How on earth did I even come up with a line like that?” Pete asked himself with a scowl. He had been mad enough that she had left the house that way without even informing him first, but then he had seen her talking to a strange man of factly.
“I’ll just leave it here until lunchtime and then we can help her microwave it for lunch.” Pete assured Amanda.
“Why didn’t she join us anyway? Since she lives here now, she shouldn’t have to eat alone. We should all eat together.” Amanda suggested with a smile.
“Sweetheart…”
“Yes. We should eat together as one big happy family.” Amanda insisted thoughtfully.
“She is not a part of our family.” Pete reminded her softly.
“But she will be soon. Just wait and see.” Amanda promised her father.
THE MIRACLE I NEED : Episode 11 – 20
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“Na wa for you o! (You never cease to amaze me?). Where you dey since morning sef? (Where have you been all day?)” Sharon asked irritably the moment Kathleen returned her call.
“Abeg nuh vex (I’m sorry please). I went out to look for something to eat and I didn’t take my phone with me. Why were you calling me, anyway?” Kathleen asked with a yawn as she lowered herself on her bed.
“So you’re telling me you didn’t see my message on WhatsApp last night? Everytime you’ll just be ignoring messages on WhatsApp, I wonder why you even have an Android phone at all.” Sharon hissed at her.
“Sorry abeg nuh vex, I ran out of data last night, and I was too angry to subscribe again. All these stupid network providers are robbing us, small thing remain for them to just carry gun take our money.” Kathleen complained bitterly making Sharon laugh out loud.
“I think say na only me dey complain before (I thought I was the only one facing this). As in ehn, I sub more than five times in a month. Sixteen Gigabytes just be like five hundred Megabytes. Just like and comment on two pictures on Facebook, retweet a couple of tweets and watch three WhatsApp status videos, and before you know it these yeye people will be warning you that you have used up ninety-five percent of your data.” Sharon added making Kathleen giggle.
“Mama the mama! You can exaggerate sha. Anyway I’m sure that wasn’t why you called me. So wetin sup? (What’s up?) Before we go finish airtime dey talk another thing.”
“I wanted to find out where you later went to na. I didn’t hear from you again yesterday to know whether you moved in with your boss or went somewhere else. Abi how you do am?” Sharon asked curiously.
“Did I have a choice? He offered his boys quarter apartment, so I moved in there.” Kathleen said making Sharon squeal with delight.
“See upgrade na. Wait first, where does he live?” Sharon asked, unable to contain her excitement.
“One of these big men Estates in Lekki. Can you believe they don’t even have where to buy common bread and mineral within the estate?” Kathleen asked irritably making Sharon laugh even more.
“But wait o, you sef, why would you go and be looking for where to buy bread and mineral when you’re living in your boss ‘house? He doesn’t have food?”
“Shey I should go and start begging him free food. You don’t even want to know what this wizard of a boss did to me.” Kathleen said with a hiss, making Sharon’s aproko meter beep. (Setting off her gossip mode).
“I suppose your boss is the wizard? What did he do abeg?”
Sharon then went ahead to narrate all that had transpired between herself and her boss earlier on. By the time she was done Sharon was struggling to breathe and wipe her tears because of the intensity of her laughter.
“Why are you laughing so seriously? Is it funny?” Kathleen asked with a hiss.
“This is absolutely hilarious, believe me. Like your boss is a different class of petty.” Sharon said amidst her laughter.
“You didn’t hear what I said? I say this man even open mouth tell me, ‘I am petty, and petty is me’ can you imagine?” Kathleen asked making Sharon hoot with laughter.
“I like your boss walai!”
“You won’t be saying this if you were in my shoes. The man was just pretending to be nice that first time. He is very immoral and petty, tufia!” Kathleen spat out.
“Relax jare. You sef you too do. Anyway send me the address, I have to come over and visit you. I should know your new place.” Sharon said excitedly.
“Today?” Kathleen asked with a frown.
“Is there a reason I can’t come today? Today is Sunday and there isn’t much traffic so I’d rather come today, and maybe I’ll spend the night if possible.” Sharon offered.
“Oya na. I don’t know the exact address, so I’ll just snap my location on google map and I’ll send it to you. You’re using bolt abi?”
“Yes. Oya na, send me the location, I’ll just go and get ready.” Sharon said before disconnecting the call.
Kathleen remained where she was seated and decided to forgive Airtel people and give them one more chance, so she subscribed again and turned on her data. Her phone vibrated as different unread messages popped up on her screen. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw there was over 300 unread message notification on her office group chat, “Hia! What were they saying na?” She wondered irritably as she clicked on it.
Someone had shared a meme which was supposed to be funny, about the look on your face when you realize the most churchy girls are the ‘baddest’ on bed. And then someone had responded by saying, “We know them na.”
She was laughing as she read through the chats until it suddenly dawned on her that she was the one they were actually referring to. “Baddest on bed ke!” She thought with a hiss. It was obvious they wanted her to respond to all they had said, so she decided to just ignore the rest of the messages on the group chat.
She scrolled through her phone searching for important messages, and stopped when she saw one from an unknown number, “Fine girl! Happy Sunday!” She checked the person’s display picture and smiled when she saw it was Pete’s sister.
“I fine reach you? Same to you.” She responded before going down to check Sharon’s message.
“Babe how far na? Have you gotten a place to stay?” She rolled her eyes as she read the message. ‘So it’s even ordinary two questions that she typed and she was sounding like she sent a long note.’ Kathleen asked herself before taking a screenshot of her exact location on google map and sending it to Sharon.
She decided it was time to shower, so she stood up from the bed and returned to the living room to shut her door properly. The last thing she wanted was for that immoral and petty man to walk into the house while she was stark nked. Since she was yet to get a shower cap, she picked up the black nylon she had used in carrying the mineral and bread from the table, and wrapped it around her head before taking off her clothes and heading for the bathroom.
As she showered she thought about her mother’s call earlier that morning. She really didn’t have much money, but her younger sister did require urgent medical care, and she knew it was up to her to look for money. The loan they often borrowed from Lapo and other microfinance banks was definitely going to be enough for them. She needed something bigger this time, and something she could pay without pressure.
“What about Pete?” A voice in her head suggested.
“That devl? Tufiakwa! God forbid bad thing!” She rejected the idea immediately. Her pride wouldn’t even let her do it, especially not after the way he had just treated her. So after taking her bath she changed into a black handless playsuit she had gotten from Ella and settled down to study her open heaven devotional and pray.
THE MIRACLE I NEED : Episode 11 – 20
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