(A wall flower’s guide to finding God)


“Ileri, can you help me sign? I can’t go to class today.”

“Ileri, please help me fetch water. I’m not feeling fine abeg.”

“Are you using your CHM 235 handout Ileri? Please give me.”

You must be confused right? From what you’ve read above, you must think I’m really popular.

But I’m not.

I’m pretty average.

In fact, I’m so average, that I blend in with the crowd. I’m not special, or talented, I never have been.

And guess what? I like it that way. I like not being noticed, not standing out, and I absolutely cannot say no to people.

Which brings us back to the questions above.

People always take advantage of me because I can’t say no.

Obviously I have my work to do today, but I’m afraid if I say no to those requests above, the people who made them will be angry.

I’m so shy and timid, to the point that the people around me have given up on me.

I care too much about what people think of me, and I let that run my life.

But something changed in my second year of school. My life changed completely.


My name is Ilerioluwa Williams, and I am a wallflower.

Wanna hear my story?


Are you guys ready???

Note: A wallflower is someone who is shy or unpopular and as a result doesn’t take part in social activities.


White!!!!!; The color of your heart.???????

(A wall flower’s guide to finding God??)

Chapter 1.

(The difference between me and the rest of the world….)

Money. Power. Love. Comfort.

Even at a young age, most people already have ideas of what they want from life.

Yeah. Most people. But not me.

Especially not me.

Here I am, an eighteen year old with inferiority complex, in school studying a course I have no interest in, to impress people who care nothing about me.

I sat on my bed, earphones in my ear, staring emptily into a textbook. My eyes can see the words, but my mind is millions of miles away.

Far away in a place where I’m a completely different person than who I am now.

I’m in my second year of University, and by legal standards, an adult, but it feels like I haven’t grown up much. I feel no different now than I did when I was five years old.

I’m still the same kind of person I’ve always been.

A fat, self-conscious, shy, coward.

I sighed and closed the textbook, falling back on my bed. There was no use trying to force the contents into my head. I was just wasting my time and energy.

Maybe I should sleep.

Yeah. Sleeping is the one thing I’m good at.

As I began to close my eyes, I felt someone slap my leg painfully.

I sat up in alarm and looked down from the top of the bunk bed.

My childhood friend, Feyikemi, was standing, and staring at me like she had just caught me eating her food.

“Ileri! Didn’t you tell me you had practical by four?!”

My heard sparked like hot oil that they had just poured water into.

Jesus Christ.

I was going to be late.

It was five minutes to four.

There was no way I was reaching the practical lab in five minutes.

I sprang off the bed with the agility of Spiderman, and Feyikemi quickly stepped out of my way.

“Better don’t kill yourself! Thank God I just said I should come and borrow your earpiece, only to meet you here daydreaming.”

I began rushing to put on my clothes, my mind racing.

Do I tell one of my course mates to keep space for me?

No way. I wasn’t that close to any of them.

Do i call the Course Rep and tell him my situation?

Ah! That was even worse!

Our Course Rep is a boy, and I am 200% self conscious around boys.

God in heaven. See how I’m suffering myself. The way I behave, you would think I’m still in primary school.

I ransacked my wardrobe for my oversized sweater, but it was nowhere to be found.

I’m fat or chubby if you want to be nice, and I absolutely hate wearing anything that is fitted. I also have these very big bre@sts that I inherited from my mother’s side, and I loathe them.

Any girl praying for big breasts does not know what they are asking for. They are more of a curse than a blessing.

So, I hate wearing anything fitted. No way am I showing people all the fat in my body.

As i overturned my wardrobe looking for the sweater, one of my roommates who was laying on her bed noticed.

“Ileri, are you looking for your orange sweater?” She asked.

“Yes. Have you seen it?” I replied breathlessly.

“Sorry dear, I borrowed it yesterday to wear to night class.”

Are you kidding me? She took it without my permission?

I hated this kind of thing. How will you open someone’s wardrobe and take their clothes? And this was not the first time she had done something like this. She did it a lot.

And only because I didn’t have the courage to open my mouth and stop her.

“Oh, okay. But I need it now.” I said softly.

She smiled sheepishly at me.

“You see, my boyfriend lekan, shabi you know lekan now? He was playing with me yesterday and he took the sweater as a prank. But don’t worry, I will collect it for you when I see him tonight.”

Which boyfriend?

Which prank?

Who be lekan?

Who lekan be?

Of course I didn’t know who he was!!!

I bit my lip in anger.

“But….I want to wear it now.”

“Ah ahn.” She scoffed in irritation. “Wear something else nah. Abi is it the only cloth you have?” She asked me, like a mother would to a child that had just said something very stupid.

I shrunk and so did my voice.

“O…okay.” I muttered weakly, and heard Feyikemi hiss from behind me.

I ended up settling for one of my skin tight shirts over some baggy jeans.

I was so uncomfortable, and I thanked God that I would at least be covered with my lab coat.

As I dashed out of the hostel, I complained to Feyikemi.

“Can you believe her Feyi? See as she was now talking to me as if it wasn’t my cloth she took.”

Feyikemi turned her nose up at me.

“Don’t tell me rubbish o. Why didn’t you say all this one to her face before? I trust you. You that cannot open your mouth, you’ll just be letting people treat you anyhow.”

I scowled, and raised my hand to flag down a Keke.

“Where?” The keke man asked.

“Block 4, Physics lab.”

“You get change?”

“Nooo, na 500 naira I get o.”

“Where you want make I see change?” He asked rudely, and I sighed in frustration. I turned to Feyikemi.

“Do you have change?”

“Sorry babe. I only have 1000 naira o.”

I slapped my head and the keke man hissed.

“Oya just enter. But na you finish my change o.”

If he was just going to agree why did he na make noise before?

“Thank you sir.” I said profusely as I clambered into the keke.

It was now ten minutes past four.

The keke began to move and I bit my fingernails in anxiety, constantly checking the time.

It felt as if the keke should sprout wings and begin to fly.

I began to cross check my things to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, when the keke made a sharp turn, and my file flew out of my hands and out of the keke.

Blood of Jesus!!!!

“Oga please stop!! Stop!! Oga!!!” I yelled, slapping the driver’s seat.

“Wetin happen now?!” He shouted, bringing the vehicle to a halt.

I jumped out without thinking, running onto the road to graby file, not noticing the Range Rover that was heading for me.

There was an ear piercing horn as the Range Rover screeched to an abrupt halt just inches away from my body. I fell back, paralyzed with shock. A man who I guessed must be the driver stepped out, shouting and cursing. Another well dressed middle aged woman stepped out of the passenger seat, walking up to me.

“Young lady are you okay? Didn’t you see the car coming? How could you just run into the road like that?” She asked, helping me to my feet.

“Madam leave her. Na death she wan die na. See as she be. Just big for nothing.” The driver spat out in anger and his words cut to my heart.

Tears of embarrassment began to clog my eyelids.

“Mmm. John it’s okay.” The woman said dismissively.

The driver, John, moved to the backseat window and began to talk to someone there, but my head was too much in a daze to concentrate on what they were saying.

“Please be careful next time okay? Don’t mind John. He just has a big mouth.” The woman said warmly, and I nodded like an agama lizard.

She gave me one last smile, then walked back to the car, and they drove off.

As the car passed by me, even though the windows were tinted, I had the strong feeling that whoever was in the backseat was staring at me.

I walked back to the keke in a daze, taking my seat and forcing tears back into my eyes.

The man had called me big for nothing, and words hurt me more than they should.

That’s just who I am.

“Aunty, E go better make you take things easy o.” The keke man said, and I dropped my head into my palms, wishing that rapture would just take place right now and save me from my embarrassment.

It was now 25mins after four.

I finally arrived at the lab, and I rushed in, feeling as if everyone was staring at me, when I’m pretty sure they weren’t.

I found an empty table at the far back, and sat down tiredly.

I sighed. (Seishun satsbasaron)

Let me just do this practical, and get back to the comfort of my room, away from all these people.

A few minutes after I had arrived, the lecturer began to draw our attention.

“Hello? Please direct your attention to me.” He said through a Mic and the noise in the lab.

I looked up and squinted my eyes at the front.

“We have a very special guest to welcome. He’s just joining us for the semester since he transferred from abroad, and I thought to introduce him.”

Na wa oh. Baba get to the point.

“Let’s all give a big welcome to the grandson of the VC of this very institution, Sean Odeyemi.” He said enthusiastically, and I took a good look at the young man standing beside him.

He was handsome, tall and very lanky, with cold, unmoving eyes. He looked like he was irritated by the lecturer’s elaborate introduction. I could understand. I mean what was the point?

The lecturer pointed in my direction, and the young man started walking towards me.

I panicked, realizing that my table was the only free one in the lab.

As he got closer to me, I noticed that he was fair, and I wondered if the Oyinbo sun had bleached his skin.

He finally arrived at my table, and set his bag down, not acknowledging my presence at all.

I, on the other hand, lost my brain function.

Remember I told you that I’m self conscious around boys?


My hands shook and became sweaty as I suddenly became spiritually aware of my appearance.

I had never met this guy before, but yet here I was, having a mental breakdown.

What a life.

He took no notice of me, and I didn’t miss the intimidating and icy look in his eyes. It only made my anxiety worsen.

I reached across the table, and my hand knocked a beaker. It slid across the table like something acting action film, until it reached the edge and finally toppled, as if being pushed by some unseen force, splashing it’s contents all over the tall boy’s clothes.

My eyes widened in h0rror.


Someone just kill me now!!!!


There it is lovelies!!!!???

What do you guys think of Ileri?

Stay tuned for more!!!

Written by Authoress Covenant.

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